I do not have the energy to make this look pretty lol.
We are a mixed origins system and bodily a minor. They/Them collectively. You can call us Nelle!
We're going through a bit of a restructuring right now, there might be more of us than we previously thought. We're also more singlet presenting on this blog, we might make a system side blog at some point. We are pro endo and pro willo and consider ourselves to be partially endogenic. We switch between "I" and "We" a lot often with no rhyme or reason.
Our interests are a constantly shifting mess, so it would be a little useless to put a list. You will see a large amount of reblogs about a certain topic for like two weeks and then never again. If you see that we have something in common PLEASE talk to us about it we're starved for social interaction. Don't be afraid to interact, especially if you're around our age. Current main obsession: Sherlock Holmes, specifically Granada and acd
I post sporadically and mostly say a bunch of nonsense. More serious posts happen occasionally because we're anxious about posting them. We don't have a DNI because I fear those usually have the opposite effect as intended, but we block freely (and gleefully). We don't mind interacting with adults, but we're not looking to become friends. We won't interact if you are MDNI, we just ask that you follow your own DNI. (PLEASE) That also applies to other DNIs. If you're anti-endo, just leave us alone and we'll leave you alone.
We use "yuppers" to tag our own posts for some reason
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If you experience any changes in body control (switching, possession, etc.), then establish some form of consistent, asynchronous external communication with your system. External communication has a major benefit: you can still talk to each other across switches (asynchronously) even if the inside of your mind is a mess.
You might set up a journal, whiteboard, calendar, a "single user, multi-account" app like Mytter or Antar, sticky notes, etc. Anything goes as long as your system knows to check it occasionally (or at the least, in an emergency).
We recommend choosing an analog method for your fallback communication method if possible, as a power outage could take out a lot of digital methods. A spur-of-the-moment piece of paper left on a table is better than nothing, but it's less likely to work than a pocket notebook or bulletin board that every system member knows to use for communication if needed. You can always add an app or program once everyone knows where to go for your analog fallback.
Discuss how you want to treat each other. Keep it loose and informal for now- don't make any absolute Laws just yet. Think of it more like the quick agreements that roommates make with each other for practical reasons: "I'll do the dishes if you do the laundry".
A few classics: "try not to die, don't kill anyone else, don't get any tattoos as an impulse decision, and don't throw out things that don't belong to you."
Don't force agreements on anyone. If someone disagrees, then stop and discuss their concerns to find a better agreement. See: Consensus Decision Making.
Map your system, if it feels right. This can help you learn about each other, but it can also be soothing to feel like you have some understanding of who's in your head when you're being flooded with new system members.
Again, keep it simple. What do you actually need to know? What would help you in a practical sense? Start there, then branch out if you'd like to get to know each other better.
Consider making a simple guide to your life. If someone had to handle a day in your life with little to no prior knowledge of it, then what would they need to know?
Where should they check to see if you have any appointments? Are they responsible for feeding any pets? Where can they find money if they need it, and how do they know how much to spend? Do you have a job, and do they need to work it? Etc.
Hopefully you never need this guide, but it's a lifesaver for any unexpectedly amnesiac system members.
Focus on building bridges and trust. Get to know the folks in your head. Find ways to talk and just get to know them. Listen as much as you talk, if not more.
Learn to lean on each other for support, if you can. Trust is one of the most valuable things that you can have in a system. Trust gets you through a lot of tough situations. Give your system members every reason to trust you, and try to learn to trust them in turn.
If someone is hostile, then ask what's driving the hostility. Do they feel under-represented in your life? Does peace make them feel unsafe because they don't know where the threats are? Are they bored, scared, frustrated, or routinely unhappy?
What can you do to support them? What do they need to feel comfortable?
Don't worry about knowing everything. You're just figuring this out- give yourselves some grace for not knowing as much as everyone else seems to. (Besides, they know less than you think. I've yet to meet a system without a single mystery left in it, including folks who've known for decades, and many systems are forever figuring things out in one way or another.)
Ask for information when you need it and let your system explain itself over time; let your system set the pace. You'll get better information that way, and your system will learn that they can trust you to respect them when they say "no, don't touch that yet."
Screw plural community labels for now. Seriously. Screw figuring out origins or consciousness or whatever the linguistic dividing line of the month is. Don't worry about it. These words come and go. Get to know yourselves first.
Why am I suggesting this? Community labels will still be there when you've figured out how to work with each other in a practical sense, and your stronger understanding of each other will make it much easier to find whatever words you wind up needing. Hunting for words now is likely to get you stuck trying to cram a bunch of shifting unknowns into someone else's categorization system, and it might cloud your situation more than it clears it.
Given that you're still settling into the idea of sharing a head at all, getting into the nitty-gritty of labels is probably going to be less helpful than figuring out how to handle doubt and denial issues (or getting communication going, or learning to manage switching, or...), hence the recommendation not to worry about it.
That said: do use labels if you need them. Just remember that labels are tools. Don't let the tools use you.
Also, screw the discourse. If you listen to any one item on this list, make it this one.
Plural community discourse tends to be a little bit rancid in the "debating whether your experiences exist meaningfully in our spaces" way, and it will fuck you up as a new system. Get past the worst of your denial or doubt issues first to avoid worsening the "oh my god, am I faking without knowing it" hell brainworms. Please. I am actually begging you. Avoid the discourse until you've dealt with your own existential doubts.
None of these things are obligations, nor is there any rush to do them. It's just a cluster of things that I tend to suggest to newly discovered systems, and I realized that I don't think we've actually rattled these off on this blog yet.
are people talking about the labor conditions at Taylor Farms yet? like the fact they use enslaved prisoners in their facilities?
are we drawing the connection between worker safety and consumer safety & public health yet?
are people demanding to see the conditions in this place that keeps making us sick? why are the enslaved workers not having the time to use the bathroom or to rest when ill? very few people would shit in front of their coworkers given any choice at all.
funny seeing the google ai go on full defense for white people over the word honky while the wiki article it's sourcing is just like "yeah its some insult". they're injecting their own #alllivesmatter weights into the bot
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So I saw some people remarking that they didn't understand why "liberals" are focusing on the disaster of the Reflecting Pool paint job, and ok so when you see stuff like that, I need you to remember we are dealing with a wannabe strongman. Anything that makes him look ineffectual, wasteful, and incredibly stupid-- you get that between your teeth and you don't let go. Especially *especially* when it involves laughing at him.
Also... it is funny. Except for the poor ducks, it's funny. Man lost a war to algae. His "American Flag Blue" is green and slimy and the paint is peeling off, and all before his big 4th of July show that no musicians want to play. It's funny. Point and laugh. That is fighting fascism, actually.
one aspect of being transfem that has always been a bit weird to me is how condescending some people can be towards us in the realm of subjects considered feminine. like, thank you for the nice intentions, please analyze why you inherently consider yourself to be more of an authority of makeup and fashion and how boobs work and so on.
and like. "you might not know this, but some people are treated badly because they have periods." why wouldn't i know this? what about me makes you think i wouldn't know and that you have to be the one to tell me?
on occasion it can even be hard to take some compliments about our knowledge and skill, because some people go about it in such a backhanded way. why were you not surprised that the trans man was good at makeup, but you were surprised when it was me? "i didn't know you knew how to actually do it." what about me made you think that my system didn't know? my system, which has been stealthing for years?
in a way, i would describe such behavior as maternalistic. as if i am inherently always new to being femme, and i apparently need someone "more experienced" to teach me. and i have had people be mad at me before, for not seeing them as a form of authority on a fashion subculture that they directly told me they knew very little about.
and i do know that there are people out there, tfems who do need some help. which is part of why i consider this behavior to be so bad, because the advice a lot of these people volunteer to give is not good! i am so tired of people sending me those contour maps, thinking about how good and helpful of a person they are, meanwhile the diagram is meant for someone with a different face shape than me.
people have tried to give us fashion advice and recommended us things that would have just emphasized aspects we are dysphoric about, because generally they're too concerned with the idea of how good of a person they are being to who they consider to be perpetually a gender tourist.
in general: people really need to learn that good intentions does not negate harmful impact, and really look at themselves about the assumptions of knowledge that they have towards anyone transfeminine.
If your business can only be reached and all info about it only be accessed via Facebook or Instagram, know that it isnāt reachable or accessible AT ALL.
The whole metaverse can no longer be properly viewed without an account and I am definitely not making one just to see your contact info or opening hours.
Get a fucking WEBSITE. It can be just a static landing page with the relevant information. But get off the metaverse!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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yesterday & today i've been thinking a lot about what it means to take children & teens seriously as knowledge creators. because of course people jump to the "oh so you want me to ask a 5 year old why the sky is blue act like the answer is true"
well no. but we should still be asking 5 year olds why the sky is blue. not just as a precursor to telling them the Right Answer but to encourage them to critically examine the things we take for granted every day. even if they don't know the correct answer immediately, whatever their answer is will tell you a lot about how they view the world. and it gets you as an older person in the practice of asking younger people for information instead of just assuming you have it all and they have none. and then if you ask them a question that you don't know the answer to, and they don't know the answer either, then you get to experience that process of discovery together.
this is something i need to work on. i answer a lot of "why" questions from the kids but i don't ask them many.
and then it extends to creative endeavors too. i'm a classically trained pianist & flautist and i really like that i got that experience growing up. it was one of the main ways that i got to enjoy being really good at something at a young age. but it took me a good 5 years of being absolutely miserable in piano lessons before i learned to enjoy it at all. and that was because of LABOR ALIENATION fuck ok i'm putting it all together now. i didn't get to choose what genre to play, what pieces to play, or how much to practice. my job was to reproduce The Greats with whatever little personality flair i could manage to add without bastardizing the work. i learned a lot of music theory but it was mostly so i could understand the pieces i was playing, not so i could use it to create my own work. nobody gave a shit about that.
i know i'm probably just reinventing the suzuki method or whatever but god how different would it have been if i'd been taught how to use music theory as building blocks to interpret my own experience, to create my own work. to have that as the central purpose of music education from the beginning, and then add education about historical movements & artists as a way to further inspire new creations. instead of acting like music composition is a right you have to earn.
what if we treated children's creations seriously as a body of work instead of as practice for the Real Thing. what then.
i have a friend doing piano lessons who is working on the exams before ABRSM exams (so shes rlly good at piano basically) and she absolutely hates it. her opinion of composition is that it is a task in her exams, that she has to "prepare" for composition.
on the other hand a family friend who is like 10 is encouraged to write his own songs and rlly finds joy in piano. he wrote this rlly lovely song that isnt the most expressive, beautiful thing ever, sure, but it's rlly lovely. and his family encourages it.
thats the thing i love about jazz. you are supposed to take the thing and make it your own. everything i play contains my soul
you got it exactly lmfao this post is based on my experience prepping for ABRSM too! and i LOVE playing jazz piano for the same reason. so exciting & spontaneous & beautiful. playing with a jazz band was such a magical feeling and it was also really hard to get used to after 10+ years of rote learning. i'm really glad your family friend is getting to do that, that's so special :')
My brother and I have been talking a lot about music (he is a guitarist and I don't play anything) and my friends that played music when i was in highschool made it sound like the most complicated torture labyrinth in the world, but apparently people can and do learn to play by just. picking up an instrument and messing with it until it makes neat sounds.
call me the fucking ~internet police~ BUT I DIDNāT KNOW UNTIL TODAY THAT THEREāS LITERALLY A COMMUNITY OFĀ āPEDOPHILE POSITIVITYā ON THIS HELLSITE
THERE ARE PEOPLE OPENLY ADMITTING THAT THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN/CONSUMING CHILD PORN ON THIS WEBSITE!?!??! THEREāS 13 YEAR OLDS ON HERE!!!
so my dudes, how to flag āmapsā (minor attracted people aka pedophiles)
1. clickĀ āflag this blogā
2. clickĀ āthis violates tumblrās community guildlinesā
If itās clear they have broken laws (they post/talk about using child porn, admit to things theyāve done with minors, etc), go fill out a form here ( https://tips.fbi.gov ) to make the FBI aware and bring this filth to justice. Every single one. And if thereās no proof of criminal offense, then go on and flag them, at least then they arenāt here to prey on children on the internet.
Hi guys I recently had a run in with a pedophile who was posting child pornography, please donāt call the police thereās not a whole lot they can do in situations of tracking unless itās in your home state! And they donāt have a department that deals with blogs.
Instead call 1-800-843-5678 or fill out a form for cybertipline.com , they reach out within the same day and deal with these assholes all the time. They will contact you if they need more assistance or if theyāve resolved it! The police department redirected me to the hotline and will do so in every situation unless itās local. Stay safe!
fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this
If you're ever bored, here's a list of Studio Ghibli films you can watch for free.
Castle In The Sky (1986)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
Kikiās Delivery Service (1989)
Only Yesterday (1991)
Porco Rosso (1992)
Pom Poko (1994)
Whisper of the Heart (1995)
Princess Mononoke (1997)
My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999)
Spirited Away (2001)
The Cat Returns (2002)
Howlās Moving Castle (2004)
Tales from Earthsea (2006)
Ponyo On A Cliff From The Sea (2008)
The Secret World of Arrietty/The Borrower Arrietty (2010)
From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)
If any of the links stop working, please let me know so I can fix it.
For Castle In The Sky, wait for the free user button to be clickable and it will send you to the video.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
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All rules can be put into two groups; don't touch the hot stove and don't walk on the grass
For the first group the consequences of your actions are real, they're directly related to your action. These rules can be broken only if you accept the risk first, maybe you want a burnt hand idk you do you
For the second group the consequences are imagined and enforced by authority, they aren't directly related to your actions people in power just want you to think they are. You should break these rules as often as you can get away with
"You are the gender you were coercively assigned at birth" is in the second group
Calvin's dad: listening to pirated music? I'll show you something interesting.
All rules can be put into two groups; those that have a real consequence and those that have a manufactured consequence enforced by an authority, right?
Calvin: yeah...
Calvin's dad: don't pirate music? Manufactured. Don't touch the hotplate? Real. Don't walk on the grass? Manufactured. Don't climb into the tigers enclosure? Real.
Despite appearing to have real consequences "don't self harm" is actually manufactured
