My friends are convinced I run a wildly popular blog (I do not) so I've started (jokingly) telling them I'm you
You better fucking watch your back
Not even Jesus Christ was scrutinized this heavily
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@smileybarry
My friends are convinced I run a wildly popular blog (I do not) so I've started (jokingly) telling them I'm you
You better fucking watch your back
Not even Jesus Christ was scrutinized this heavily

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Tumblr is a fate driven website. You can't find posts through the search function, you see them when you're meant to.
just made the best non-looping gif i think
i said it was non-looping i'm sorry what am i supposed to say!!!!!!!
Everybody looking at this post
yeah okay ill reblog that
If you’ve tried to reach out to me in the last 7-8 years and I didn’t get back to you I’m medicated now and I’ll be reaching out to you shortly
I can do this
Bruh this coffee I bought is so good I'm so fuckin alert rn I could probably do a math problem
I don't know

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Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five
Hospital
Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital
I feel like we’re getting off topic
So is pepsi if you steal it?
Because it’s only a dollar seventy five
Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi
Why would anyone drink Pepsi?
Huh?
That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.
1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.
2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.
3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.
am I having a stroke????
you might want to go to the hospital then
I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there
Enter DAISY GRIME, a CLOWN, accompanied by FOOLS, HARLEQUINS, and JESTERS.
GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark -- An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d -- That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.
GRIME A hospital, good sir.
SECOND FOOL (Does some figures) And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?
GRIME Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.
CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.
GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.
FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.
SECOND JESTER Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.
FIRST FOOL I see, but -- wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?
GRIME ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?
SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?
FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.
(There is general applause and agreement.)
GRIME O fool, a what?
Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.
WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.
(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)
Exeunt.
Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.
LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?
FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.
SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.
(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)
Exeunt.
Alright that’s it, we’ve got the Shakespearan translation too, this post is complete now.
Source: DitzyFlama on Twitter
Nintendo has given the players too much power.....good.
I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

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you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made
let's make a burger together :]
top bun
ketchup
mayo
pickles
onions
lettuce
tomato
beef patty
bacon
bottom bun
donot be goofy!
YOU PUT THAT BACK IN THE FRIDGE RIGHT NOW
do you fucking mind

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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November 26, 2016 - Turkey Protest, Stormwind City - Moon Guard