slime

self-described "cozy" games aren't even cozy they're just advertiser friendly

yesterday my dad and i were stuck indoors because of the weather and i said “we’re homestuck” and he looked at me, like he knew this was some meme shit, he knew the score, but he couldn’t place it. he just kept looking at me suspiciously, knowingly, warily. then he carefully said, “yes.”

the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

I love this website so much

I think that ancient peoples had trampolines and razor scooters but they were extremely reserved and somewhat shy about them

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

actions all already and and are are both can choose do end first get going inevitable. is know law law law never of of of off own ride second that that. the the the the third this to to tragedies: tragedies: tragedies: want. we whenever written you you you your your

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

How did it get up there

It’s difficult to tell - typically light fixtures are installed using some combination of screws and brackets to affix them to the wall, but in this case the actual point of connection is obscured by a cat.

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

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