Shit!

Gays heard the phrase "louder than gods revolver and twice as shiny" and took it as dress code instructions.

a magpie just flew past holding two entire french fries in its beak…i’m overjoyed for him…congratulations dude…!!

“Garfield is actually a relaunch of an earlier and much less successful newspaper comic called Jon that ran from 1976 to 1978, and which was believed to be lost media until surviving copies were discovered in a library microfilm archive in Pendleton, Indiana in July of 2019″ wasn’t the revelation I expected this morning, but it’s sure as heck the one I got.

Men will spend 25% of their day thinking about how they could American sniper their way out of the zombie apocalypse no problem and then they’ll walk into the bathroom and miss the toilet from half a foot away

Men will be like “I would NEVER murder someone but if I did I know exactly how I’d get away with it” and then one day you’ll be in a situation with them where they need to mop a floor and they won’t even know how

I don’t ge-… wait just one fucking minute.

Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold is literally just Dwarvish Take Me Home, Country Roads

i cant believe all the sexy music came out when i was like 12 years old and couldnt appreciate it now. whos at the top of the charts now? ed sheeran? shawn mendes and his beard? all the one direction guys but separate this time? where’s mr. taio cruz