George Cuntstanza @nintendette - Tumblr Blog

Telemachus: *builds a nice pool so his mom's suitors won't bully him anymore*

Odysseus: *arrives and deletes all the ladders*

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theonion

Emphasizing the local parish’s dedication to serving its most vulnerable community members, St. Mary’s Catholic Church announced Tuesday that it was opening its doors to any single mothers in need of judgment. “Times are tough right now, but we want divorcées and unwed moms to know they can rely on the church to cast doubt on their way of life,” said parish administrator Dianne Barry, explaining that priests and nuns would be available around the clock to provide a disapproving “hmmm,” a raised eyebrow, or a critical sneer to any single mothers struggling to get by.

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#dragon age origins

dogpuppy

In 2016 I used to read your blog every day like the newspaper, and my dad pulled me aside to tell me not to cause he checked my internet history and thought bowserfucker was a porn site

There are not enough words for me to thank you for sharing this with me. 🥲

Oh my God how delightful, and I'm so sorry

#bowserfucker

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List of new betrayals:

- when u run out of Costco size thing you thought would last forever

- when your really cool boots squeak and you're walking down a tile hallway

0xeyedaisy

Grahhh fuck!! I have this stupid desire for human connection!!!!

0xeyedaisy

Fuuuck

to raise money, Wikipedia should do that thing CNN did where they sold shirts with headlines on them. I would kill for a shirt that had the article title and Wikipedia layout for Homosexuality in Medieval Europe

We are the Nieces of the Uncles that worked for Nintendo that you could not burn

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slugbus

autumn/winter affirmations:

7 p.m. is not late

your day is not over at 7 p.m.

you are allowed to leave your house after it gets dark

7 p.m. is so early

I want to be isekai-ed, but I need my laptop, so I can post my orc boyfriend's poetic metaphors about my radiance

mothly

i want to play but my mind has been destroyed

Shrek entering the real world would only be compelling if:

It's in NYC. People wear costumes often, so he could blend in.

He arrives just before the peak of his fame, like September 2001, 4 months after Shrek release.

He has the chance to do something heroic while he's there.

#shrek franchise

hotvampireadjacent

Ice suggesting a white woman remove the Mexican flag sticker from her car. Can they all kill themselves already

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becquerel

hundred line is such a hard game to discuss without spoiling people that all my convos for it end up like cia documents

over100tabs

Gaku they will never make me hate you, i love you so much

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George Cuntstanza