next week at the grammys i wanna see someone throw a chair at justin bieber. ive had a taste of award show violence and i fear i now crave it

moms b like "your emotional pain causes ME emotional pain and that is what we will be focusing on today"

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

Delete this account immediately.

Court jester but exclusively used for sexual relief

boy friend

If you have epilepsy/photosensitivity, you may want to avoid the Quick Reblog thing on mobile for the time being. For some reason the green confirmation bar at the bottom of the screen is now flashing rapidly (basically strobing) whenever I Quick Reblog a post, and Tumblr Support hasn't gotten back to me about it besides the standard list of basic troubleshooting.

If you have epilepsy/photosensitivity, you may want to avoid the Quick Reblog thing on mobile for the time being. For some reason the green confirmation bar at the bottom of the screen is now flashing rapidly (basically strobing) whenever I Quick Reblog a post, and Tumblr Support hasn't gotten back to me about it besides the standard list of basic troubleshooting.

I didn't see anyone adding this in the notes, but it does the same thing if you send a post to someone

Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes

The fucking worst is that as I get older i completly understand the interest to catch up an unreasonable long time because turns out adults just dont get enough time to hang with friends, so catch up next to the Aldi cheese aisle it is

“Tumblr users who weren’t here before the porn ban…” bro we were all here before the porn ban. No one new has joined.

Just cus i cant live off pasta doesnt mean i wont live off pasta

I lived off of almost nothing but spaghetti for 3 years straight and then they had to remove my colon.

That sounds like a you problem

it’s not ‘talking to myself’ it’s called a soliloquy you fuck