Sleepy angel 😇

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

i was jumanji’d too when i was a kid but no one cared

i was also zathura’d. i got both jumanji’d and zathura’d. Statistical impossibility but sad and true

That nerdy chubby hairy stud will save your life actually 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

i genuinely don’t understand why metalheads feel the need to be so mean to eachother . in the end we all still like the same kind of music. just because someone else likes a different kind of metal genre doesn’t mean they’re a poser, they just like something else