Sleepless

*me, literally sick with want* whatever

I love saying “I’m always saying this” about things I have never said

it is SO FUNNY when you’re watching a show with horses in it and within the plot of the show the horses are “”””upset””” but the way they communicate this is by placing a nervous nickering sound bite over what is clearly a calm horse placidly performing a practiced trick

like clearly this is the correct and humane way to pretend a horse is upset and unhappy but it’s soooo funny like this guys ears aren’t even pinned back!!! he’s just vibing!!! dude did the least amount of rearing to get his apple treats and he can see his handler right behind the camera already reaching into the treat bag!! he’s getting a good grade in being a good little boy and his mommy is going to be so proud

See also: every “scummy sewer rat” used as set dressing in modern tv and film is a healthy, chubby lil boi with a nice shiny coat bc he lives a blessed little rat life full of fruits and nuts and tummy scritches

somebody called ben shapiro a bozo to his face. great fucking day

actually their exact words were “you sound like a bozo, bro. and you get no pussy, and you can’t even make your wife wet, bro, so what’s good” GREAT great day

Their name is Quentin Merritt, and I feel like it's a disservice to them to leave out the fact that before this comment, they and Shapiro had been going back and forth for a couple minutes in which Quentin thoroughly deconstructed everything wrong with Shapiro's argument. This kid destroyed him intellectually before going for the jugular and I feel that deserves to be included, because you know conservative media is going to have a field day spinning this story against them any way possible.

“Americans believe in big portions! That’s so crazy.” Look at this European getting scammed into paying for 100 calories worth of food. Fool. Idiot. You wish you could have this 16 ounce Big Gulp and this serving of rice I will eat off for three days but you can’t. Cope and seethe.

I also love watching Italians get mad at Italian American food. You’re cranky because your hungry, aren’t you? Cranky because you don’t get that delicious olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dip your bread in before meals? Cranky because your pizza kinda sucks?

who has that one post that’s like “americans will lightly rib british people for their accents and brits will be like ‘your children will die in a school shooting’“

Okay but for real, liking food isn't something to be ashamed of and mocking people for what they eat is undoubtedly an extension of fat shaming.

Imagine getting lost in target as a kid only to have a giant Eldridge monster grab you. Then it starts chanting in an unknown tongue and moves you faster than you ever thought possible, only to plop you down in the parking lot next to your mom.