eldritch basement offices

Nat Cassidy: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the nestlings Cassidy: a young couple moves into a historic gothic new York apartment building Cassidy: but the neighbors have sinister designs on their baby Ira Levin:

Ira Levin: hey wait a minute Cassidy: i know but this time it's different Cassidy: there's vampires Stephen King: hey wait a minute

Cassidy: there's another difference too Cassidy: its about a nice Jewish couple Barker: ha ha oh i bet howard has something to say about that Lovecraft: I do, in fact! Poe: no you don't Lovecraft: but i Poe: you don't Poe: clive, don't encourage him

King: oh yeah, i heard there was a discourse about this King: about if vampires are anti-semitic King: like is dracula supposed to be jewish Bram Stoker: we've been over this before Stoker: Dracula isn't anti-semitic, it's anti-sex

Stoker: it's all about how sex is bad Stoker: unlike some vampires come lately Anne Rice: i regret nothing

Stoker: i certainly hope these vampires of yours aren't all sexy Cassidy: don't worry Cassidy: they only reproduce via a meat wall in the basement Stoker: oh good- Stoker: wait what

Lovecraft: so the vampires are jewish right? Cassidy: no! Cassidy: they're rich celebrities who secretly control the world Lovecraft: Lovecraft: so Poe: don't say it howard

Cassidy: these vampires are different Cassidy: first of all, they're a metaphor for the rich parasitically living off the poor Barker: that's all vampires Cassidy: Cassidy: ok but also they're weird bug people Barker: ok yeah that is pretty different Barker: i'll give you that one

Cassidy: as the couple is menaced by vampires, they consider and then discard multiple courses of action Cassidy: just in case you were wondering why they ultimately settled on their decision Cassidy: allow me to explain their logic in rejecting each alternative possibility Cassidy: i anticipated all your questions

Cassidy: the couple uses the door to enter their apartment Cassidy: now you might wonder, why don't they enter through the window? Cassidy: it's because they live on the top floor King: whoa! good explanation

King: you thought of everything! Cassidy: no goddamn goodreads nerd is gonna catch me in a gotcha, i'll tell you that Cassidy: now you also might be wondering Cassidy: why don't they burrow up through the floor