Sir Polygonus the Pointy of the World Wide Web

I wonder if the little wizard in the refrigerator ever gets tired of holding their post to offer light.

i dont reply to peoples comments on my posts because i am stoic and im busy guarding the entrance to the castle. its not that i get flustered and not know how to respond. i am so so strong. dont fuck with me

my knight says the dragon is probably gone and i just wish he excluded one of those words

the horses know i am not built for this life

my knights lucky sword is objectively the worst one he owns and he insists on using it on all the most dangerous missions

Foul beast ate that adventurer whole, RIP

i've been told that the red bull will ascend my soul to heaven above

guys the gate is open

You don't know a damn thing about sieging

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

I attempted to rob a man at zweihanderpoint but unfortunately he pulled out a pike and gained the range advantage, giving me no choice but to flee

my knight told me to “pack light” for this journey so i brought only the essentials (his armor, his weapons, his backup weapons, his ceremonial weapons, his emergency ceremonial weapons, three weeks of rations, and a small personal item for myself (special rock))