catatonic in your arms

take a nap. eat a hot meal. it'll be alright.

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

advertising lemonade is pointless. the human body already knows it needs it

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

Happy Beet Poot Day to all who observe

i mean this in the nicest way possible but some of you need to learn how to be annoyed

what's this 'wife' business? nobody calls him Prince-Consort Mario

if Bowser kidnapped my plumbing client, I would be saying “wahoo” as long as those hours were billable

i bet it feels good as fuck to be a piece of sourdough bread that gets dipped in olive oil with various seasoning & herbs

(Going around speaking to kitties) Hello. What is your power? Hello. What is your power?

hey does anyone have that poem. about the author seeing two boys cuddling on a hotel lobby couch, where he refers to it as something like an island of safe anonymity or smth. its been 5000 years my college boyfriend had it written out and pinned to his wall