Life's too short to even care at all

What am I then? no like describe it? What term would you use? disadvantaged? less capable? ill? handicapped? limited?

I am limited by an illness that will never leave me and has resulted in permanent damage to my body that will worsen over time.

I get the logic here as someone that has lived my whole life with visible and invisible health issues. When I was doing my degree (education & special educational needs) we did lessons on the grammar of things and the examples were always like;

"You're disabled"/ "They're disabled" could come across as insulting (and obv people chose to talk/identify however they want) because there's almost this insinuation that the person is 'broken' somehow. It can be the word itself 'dis-abled'. Unable. It isn't the condition/illness (or my personal favourite) 'Impairment', it somehow is the defining /only aspect of that person and that's bull.

Fungus isn’t death, it’s life.

Death is better represented by sterile bleached bones because nothing(or hardly anything) can survive on dry bleached bones.

When I think of the concept of death I think of an entire world nuked so bad that even bacteria are gone. Nothing eating, nothing growing, nothing reproducing.

I'm not imagining death as a terrifying wasteland of nothingness and ruin. I'm not imaging death as something to fear because of its inevitability and permanence. I'm imagining it as the winter before spring, as the closing of one chapter in an uncountable number of books, and just another aspect of an existence that's not yet done unfolding.

What do writers suffer from each spring?

imagine the chaos of the madwheeler duo running rampant in vecnas mind.

imagine them being forced to see each others worst memories and recognising the real reason they butt heads so often is because they just cant stand how similar they really are.

imagine they fight because theyre still in denial about their similarities because theyre both self hating idiots, and/or they have some sort of disagreement, maybe about how to escape or maybe max confronts him about how he's treated el in the past.

imagine that right as tensions are highest, they stumble into another memory and max finds out that mikes big secret is that hes in love with will. and he expects her to berate him. to yell at him, say she just knew there was something wrong with him, but of course she doesn't. she just hugs him and tells him its okay. and he's so caught off guard that he doesn't even react at first, but then piece by piece he just starts to break down and cry into her shoulder, because its such a relief to finally just admit it to someone, and the fact that max, someone who isnt very fond of him on a good day, still accepts him honestly just makes her the perfect person to admit it to.