bibity bopity women aren't property

I love how muppets walk I wish I could walk like that

Constructive Criticism

suzanne collins killing prim after everything katniss did to save her.......... THATS how you write a story about the brutality and futility of war ma'am thats what we call a compelling and fucked up narrative yessums thats storytelling babes!!!!

I never used to understand what “making connections” looked like but it turns out it’s standing at a party and saying “I’ve been thinking about getting into the film industry” and someone saying “Oh, Sarah works in the film industry” and Sarah yelling from accross the room “Did someone say my name?!?!?!”

some of you are so hot what are you doing on this website please go have sex or something you deserve it 

i hate when people start asking what sign i am. I am a sign from god. start running.

being moderately proficient with computers in the early 2010s was casting a hex on your family to call you sheldon

i got a big bang theory box set and a bazinga t shirt for christmas when i was 16

my dad wanted to get me a psych eval so i could say "im not crazy. my father had me tested." like sheldon did and after the psych eval they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia

this could be the funniest thing that has happened to anyone ever. my condolences king

my boyfriend’s ass must be a german ambulance cuz he got that wagen and it makes me start kranken

oh mein gott i vant him so bad

i couldn’t fix him but i could rail him

Sometimes a factory reset via the prostate is all it takes

If you hit his prostate and uvula at the same time he takes a screenshot

Ima start saying shit like “im retiring for the evening”

none of you who enjoy beer are seeing heaven

“it has notes of orange” no it has notes of PISS. piss notes.