wintergreen

I FUCKED UP I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS DND CHARACTER THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO JUST BE A QUICK SKETCH IT IS 1:30AM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It's the same kind of trap they've seen before: get the mechs distracted with busywork, and nail them from a destroyed house with a cheap RPG warhead. But usually it's one and done: First roadblock, and they drop the hammer.

It's not until the 4th roadblock that it all goes sideways: The mech starts throwing laser-lock warnings and in the time it takes for them to swivel around to get main weapons pointed the right direction, 3 rocket trails have already zipped past the mech and a 4th one plows into it from alarmingly close, leaving the side armor cratered, one arm useless, and crazing the tiny direct-view window used as backup for the cameras.

A scrambled squad to the site of the last rocket launch reveals just how badly under-outclassed the mech was in this: a simple tripwire tied to one of the trucks used as a barricade, and a $40 aiming servo with a thermal seeker scavenged off a dud rocket.

Happy Pride!

This year's is a little hotter than the last~

I wonder if you know I'm writing these. You'll never read them, of course; no fire inspector is that good. But maybe you find the remains, acknowledge the pattern. I hope you do. It makes our little game more fun--is it fun for you, too?

Probably not. No one loves waking up in the middle of the night. I'd pick more convenient hours, but I can't write you from jail, not the way I know how. Sorry, darling.

You'll look angelic tonight, you always do: A seraph of nomex, wings alight. Here to save, every time the call comes; and I the lowly tormentor, hellborn and flameborne. But you can't have heroes without a villain, can you? You need me, just like I need you, don't you? They say all you buzzkills are in it for the glory--well, you're not in it for the money, certainly.

Don't think me judgemental. I love a girl that knows what she wants. And hey, I've got no room to talk.

I think about it some nights (most nights; I could never lie to you), being hoisted up on those shoulders, told it'll all be okay, you're here to help. Plucked from Hell by your hand, you poor beautiful messiah. Maybe next time I'll stick around, get high on my own supply.

Ah, but you'd smell the gas on me a mile away. You're too clever for me, babe.

It's starting to catch now, so I'd better finish this up and get gone. Breaks my heart. You deserve a longer letter. But this little job will last you all night, won't it? You won't mind if I watch you work, right?

The smoke alarms are crooning our favorite song now. I'll see you soon. Same time next week?

Reimu: "Uoooh the weather is so good to laze about and sip tea, I am confident today will be a fine, calm day."

Yukari: "Think again. You are the brown and white Shrine Maiden now, in case you didn't notice."

Reimu: "What in the world are you talking abo--

Reimu: "--oooh, yeah, huh? Actually, where did the color Red go?"

Yukari: "That's what you will be figuring out today, Reimu dearest. This is an Incident, the missing color Red. Remilia is having an existential crisis now that Sakuya started calling her Reimilia Beige. Reisen's kinda bummed out that she has Brown Eyes of Mild Irritation now. You yourself will only be known as the Brown And White Shrine Maiden of Paradise if we let this go on."

Reimu: "Which is. Not terrible? I actually kind of like this. But, sure, it does hurt my marketing in the Human Village. What's my gear gimmick this time?"

Yukari: "Take these glasses, they temporarily return Red to the world around you when you wear them, letting you see things as you normally would... But maybe they will obscure other things only visible while Red does not exist."

Reimu: "Sounds conveniently geared towards danmaku trickery! Well, do we have any leads?"

Yukari, with a smile so bright that it could make the sun burst green with envy: "Absolutely none."

Reimu: "Standard procedure, then! See you later."

*Reimu heroically picks a random direction, rolls up her detached sleeve, and starts beating the tar out of absolutely everyone in the way, including Brown Sekibanki who was the midboss for some reason*

Minor Youkai: "Hiiii! Whatcha doing around these parts?"

Reimu: "I'm trying to find out where Red went. Do you know anything?"

Minor Youkai: "Ah! You are on her trail, I see! I see a lot of people pass through here, given my ability is to detect movement flawlessly in a large radius and poison it conceptually so that my target's movement quite literally dies, so long as we have eye contact. I'm told... Not to let anyone go after her for today!"

Reimu: "I see. But I don't know who 'her' is, and that doesn't really help me, so,"

Minor Youkai: "Hah! You can't fool me! Wait, what those long and cruel needles for?"

*Reimu beats the absolute tar out of this youkai with a suspiciously insane ability by dragging her face across every single surface in a 40 meter radius*

Minor Youkai: "Owwww ok ok I don't know where Red is but I heard the lake west to the Human Village has some weird stuff going on!"

Reimu: "Good enough!"

Obscure Youkai: "Not so fast, Brown and White Shrine Maiden."

Reimu: "Not my name, but who are you?"

Obscure Youkai: "I heard from the people you've been ragdolling that you are looking for my mistress."

Reimu: "No, seriously, who the hell is your mistress, I have no idea--"

Obscure Youkai: "A deft attempt at subterfuge, Brown and White! But a futile one, as well! I will never give away my mistress' location! You know too much, and for her sake, you must DIE."

Reimu: "I don't know a damn thing, my girl, also not my name."

Obscure Youkai: "My ability is that I always know exactly how many steps there are on a staircase or a ladder! Now, have at you!"

Reimu: "Psh, that sounds silly."

*Reimu barely survives an outrageously difficult battle against the most nothingburger ability in the world with a well placed Yin Yang Orb Concussion*

Reimu with a purple brown eye: "Ok! Maybe not so silly! Holy hell."

Mastermind: "I should've known you'd figure out my ploy, Brown and White... Heh. Well played!"

Reimu: "Where. Did you come from. I have no idea who you are. And not my name."

Mastermind: "Hah...! Playing the bumbling fool until the end! Formidable! My name is Ishihara, As In, The Color Blindness Test!"

Reimu: "Hold up, are you the one that stole Red?"

Ishihara: "Indeed!" *the absolute hardest and most climatic track you've heard in your life starts playing* "And no one, not even the STINKY Brown and White Shrine Maiden of Paradise, can take it back!"

Reimu: "Not my name! And that changes things!"

*Ishihara launches an entire arsenal of spellcards with an optometrism and color blindness theme danmaku, like Deceit Sign "Green Blind Perdition - Deuteranopia"*

*But Reimu picks her up by the legs and slams her left and right like Bamm-Bamm in the Flintstones until she explodes and the screen goes white*

*Cut to Ishihara, Obscure Youkai, Reimu, and Komachi for some reason sipping tea at the Hakurei Shrine; the color Red is back if you 1cc'd*

Reimu: "So you are telling me you stole Red because of apples?"

Ishihara: "Indeed! I love the taste of red apples, but I like green apples more aesthetically, so I was wondering, huh, if I seal away the color red, then delicious red apples will look more like beautiful green apples!"

Reimu: "Right, that's pretty reasonable. But never do it again."

Ishihara: "Even though you wear a lot of red, you are pretty interesting, Shrine Maiden... Maybe I ought to pay a visit more often."

Reimu, knowing full well she has no say in this matter: "Don't."

Komachi: "I, too, am in this episode."

Aunn: "Aunn."

Marisa in her route: *Made at least one new girlfriend with the Stage 3 or 4 boss.*

Obscure Youkai, the Stage 5 boss: *doesn't become playable for years.*