Had a funny thought while struggling through a mechwarrior mission, loosing components here and there
While I was trying to make a version in my usual color pallet I realized I had to make some more gay looking ones for pride month
I'd rather be in outer space šø
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Had a funny thought while struggling through a mechwarrior mission, loosing components here and there
While I was trying to make a version in my usual color pallet I realized I had to make some more gay looking ones for pride month

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warhound, HDG, or dollposting
aka "animal, vegetable, or mineral"
the chosen one
there are handlers that went to officer school and supposedly know what the fuck they're doing, all swagger with the authority of the Service behind them, uniforms like slices of space, voices like knives, their lethal charges trailing docile behind them.
they're the ones that show up in the porn sketches and the short clips of grainy video that circulate in the Fleet network. they're the ones that have pages and pages of fan fiction written about them.
then there's you. you didn't go to officer school. your entire signup process was this:
"hey, Cooper, you were in its old unit, weren't you? before it went to the lab? remember anything that'd distract it from biting at its own link sockets and screaming at techs?"
"uh, shit, sir, i can tryā¦"
"great, it wandered into the rec room. go nuts."
you called your last conversation to mind. there'd been two major rec time activities in your last squad, and the alert that kicked off Paloma 17 had interrupted something.
you sat down next to the thing that had once been your squadmate, not meeting its weird red eyes. you already knew it didn't like that; looking it in the face was how MuƱoz got their arm broken yesterday.
the augment whiffed of human sweat, the fake citrus of type-2 interface gel, something musty and unpleasant. its fatigues probably hadn't been washed ever.
"hey, asshole," you said, "you still owe me a Kinetic Princess match. best of five, remember? we were two and one when the hammer came down for P-17."
you put a gamepad on the floor next to it.
"ch. ch. ch."
was it laughing?
it swatted the gamepad away.
and then player 2's character select screen came up. without moving a muscle, it picked Valkyrie, switched her outfit to red, and handed you your ass, twice in a row, with no apparent exertion.
"ch. ch. ch."
yeah, it was laughing.
it kept laughing as it used its onboard hardware to disconnect your gamepad, choose the princess you'd just been playing, and win three matches against itself, beating Valkyrie with Marjoram.
again.
three-one.
three-zero.
three-one.
"well," someone said behind you, "that's kinda freaky. but better than tearing up the couch. guess you're on augment duty."
it was going all out. maybe trying to prove some sort of point. to itself? to you?
you got up.
it immediately paused the game.
"hey," you told it, "i gotta piss."
it followed you down the hall into the restroom. it tried to follow you into the stall.
"hah, you find a friend, Acey?" someone laughed.
"shut the fuck up, Lima." you tried to finish your business as best you could. it wasn't easy. the thing really did reek and it was not giving you a lot of space.
fuck it. you rose, didn't bother to wipe. you grabbed the augment and hauled it into the shower, spun the dial to hot, drenched the both of you, fatigues and all.
"wooooo! take it off!"
always a fucking audience in this place.
you found the zippers to strip the thing, flung wet clothing out of the shower at a spectator, pumped all-purpose soap into your hands.
"if you're gonna follow me around," you told the augment, "you gotta smell better."
this had to get done. you soaped it. all over. the generic floral smell of all-purpose soap was definitely an improvement already. felt human enough under your hands, except where it wasn't, the occasional beveled edge of a link socket. between its legs⦠human standard.
more hooting and hollering from the onlookers.
you remembered too late not to meet its eyes, but it just stared back at you, tilting its head a bit. no sign of aggression. was it smiling?
you never got around to the second major rec time activity with your old squadmate. you had no idea if she was ever interested. you also had no idea if sexual preferences survived augmentation.
fuck it. audentes fortuna iuvat, right? said so on your shoulder patch.
you slid a finger in.
shut the audience right up.
the thing kept staring at you.
you slipped a second finger in and stared back right up until you finished it off. it shivered visibly, made a sort of low whine.
nobody said shit after that. when you finally shut off the water, silence like a library.
you walked out. it trailed behind you. you grabbed a towel off the stack by the shower exit, wrapped the thing in it. it didn't protest. wearing nothing but your own towel, you stalked back to your bunk, hoping you still had a few clean uniforms, your expression daring anyone to mention that a single thing was out of the ordinary.
"heyyyyyy Acey, you get luā"
someone always dared. this fucking unit.
the augment hissed. an unmodified human throat wouldn't have been able to make that noise; it sounded like a fire extinguisher. there was reverb in that hiss. there were teeth.
"oh, gods, just don't," you said wearily, looking back over your shoulder. it let Chroma, who had a tiny bit of sense in her head, back away slowly, in one piece.
anyway, that's how you became a handler. the pay bump is nice, your CO says you've been fast-tracked for officer school someday, and more to the point, the augment has already saved your whole squad at least three times.
but you have not once showered alone since that day, and you know it'd be a really, really bad idea to ever refuse a game of Kinetic Princess. that's just how it is when your real MOS is "weapon's favorite person". ā”
self insert
"ā¦and i find dubious," the detective doll said, tapping ash from its cigar, "that a witch of Her paranoia would allow Herself to be slain by any weapon She empowered. besides, none of Her combat dolls wield weapons that would leave such a wound."
their Witch was slumped across Her desk. Her torso, shadowed by shadows cast by nothing in the Real even in death, bore a stigma the size of a coin on its front. Her back was burned ruin, splattered half across the wall. the room reeked of witch-gore: chlorine, ozone, tar.
"then it was enemy action!" the chatelaine doll exclaimed. "only divine which enemy, and this one will rally the combat dolls. they may be in mourning, but they will fight the fiercer to keep the last shred of honor in revenge."
"spoken like a true one of Hers, suspecting enemies around every corner. but here at the center of Her power? no. if an enemy had made it this far, they would have cut you down too."
"then what or who, Investigator? we are all on borrowed time. when Her business is finished, so are we all." the chatelaine wrung its hands. "this one would rather spend its last days in comfort, or failing that, in honest familiar fear. this uncertaintyā¦"
"imagine being animated by a stored contingency scrap of Her will, only to read written instructions to find Her killer, never to hear Her voice," the detective doll said sharply. "uncertainty is all i know. it is what i woke to. but i hate it even more than you."
"tell me," it continued. "we have accounted for all the combat dolls. all the service dolls. all the pleasure dolls. what about those that have less defined purpose?"
"surely not the comfort dolls? the little scraps of rag and stories she sometimes took to bed? they are as they were when She was alive, all around the place. maybe half of them grasp that She is not simply sleeping. this one never understood what She kept them for."
"for comfort, i assume. but one cannot tell stories," the detective doll said, "without a little imagination."
it focused one eye through the entry wound, then turned its head to look at the open door, figuring the angles.
"round them up for me, chatelaine, if you please."
the half-dozen of them were brought before it. it found them frustrating little things, with little grasp of times or reasons, and a preoccupation with their toys.
"this one's called Buttercup," the fifth one said. it was two feet tall and made mostly of yellow felt. the detective suspected a rather prosaic scheme in their naming.
"and what were you doing the day Miss⦠went away," it asked the comfort doll. it was not planning to explain death again. they would all learn soon enough anyway.
"this one was looking for ammo!" Buttercup said cheerfully.
"ammo?"
"yes! the maid says that it's tired of cleaning up after our battles, and that we must always put our dart guns away with full magazines! no more darts under the sofa, or the guns will be taken away!"
"i see. did you find ammo?"
Buttercup's button eyes shot to the chatelaine.
"tell the Investigator," it said wearily. "whatever it is. there is nothing much left to punish you for, anyway."
"not all of it," Buttercup admitted. "we're still missing one dart. we're taking turns looking for it! then we can put everything away and play a new game!"
"do you like having battles?"
"yes, sometimes! we do all kinds. this time it was Knights vs. Witches! we got the idea from one of the combat dolls."
"oh? Knights vs. Witches? how do you choose who gets to be a Knight, or a Witch?"
"by half of the rainbow, of course! this one got to be a Witch!"
the detective visited the barracks again, after that. the combat dolls were all dressed in identical black uniforms, blank of any insignia, and veiled. most of them simply sat or stood, doing nothing else.
a single combat doll sat at a workbench, in the process of stripping its eight-foot bow; the detective judged that the bow did not need any cleaning, and probably hadn't the previous ten times, but it didn't begrudge the distraction.
"another question," the detective said.
"yes, Investigator."
"i learned that the little comfort dolls like to play at battles. did they learn that here?"
"oh, yes," it said, with surprising enthusiasm. "they were always in and out of here when it wasn't busy. especially the blue one. endless appetite for battle data, that Bluebell. an appreciative audience. Miss sometimes had to come in here for it Herself, at bedtime."
it had talked to Bluebell before, who had not mentioned the battles. the detective told the chatelaine to find it again.
"where," its weary impromptu deputy asked, "are you going with this?"
"a hunch. a feeling about a feeling that might be an echo of one of Hers. find Bluebell," it said, smoke from its cigar trailing it down the hall.
the rag doll was found and brought before the detective. it perched atop a stool in one of the house's many parlors.
"Bluebell," it asked, "did Miss ask you to tell her a lot of stories?"
"Miss loves this one's stories," it said.
"did she take you to bed more than the other comfort dolls?"
"ā¦maybe? this one isn't sure."
"did Miss ever scare you?"
"Miss is scary! She scares everybody!"
"yes. but did She scare you?"
"She scares Bluebell sometimes." its button eyes were impossible to read.
"one more question," the detective doll said, "and then you can run along and play, Bluebell. if you were telling a story about a scary Witch and a brave Knight, and they fought, what would the Knight use to protect itself?"
"a deconfined-quark rifle," Bluebell whispered, "that shoots fireballs from the dawn of time, way before Witches. but they're not real."
it hopped down from its stool and scurried away.
"there you have it," the detective doll told the chatelaine. "not self-destruction. not rebellion. not enemy action. the little rag-dolls will never find the missing dart; we know the hole it made and the toy weapon that fired it, but dollish imagination is what killed Her."
it took a long drag from its cigar.
"i can't tell you what to do with the time She left to you, but i can tell you this: She should have known better than to force Herself into a story."
"Investigator?"
it did not move after that.
eventually, the cigar burned itself out. ā”
locking your electronic warfare doll in a chastity Faraday cage

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unused doll
"Hey, I got the file trace from the 100% playthru. Every asset the game ever loaded."
"Fuck yes. I'm so bad, Sierra, I can't get past the second to last chapter, you're a lifesaver. So we just run this against the archive manifests andā¦"
"Not too much, huh."
"Guess not. That's all the leftovers. A a bunch of sounds, voice codec compressed, a few textures, just one mesh."
"Bones with it?"
"Yep. Usual format, I think, looking at the headers; not the one from the beta. Must have been cut pretty late. Lemme search for the mesh name, maybe there's a⦠yep, there's character data too. All commented out."
"That whole character data file gets loaded every scene, either from cache or disk, so that's probably why we missed it. So I think we just need to uncomment it and add it back to the model viewer on the extras menu? Yeah."
"Repacking and restarting. One sec."
"Oh, there she is! Aww, she's kinda cute. I wonder why they cut her. Play her voice lines."
"This one is pleased to serve."
"You think she was one of the companion characters?"
"Or a summon."
"Start a screen recording, let's get this up before someone else does."
"Started."
"I'm your doll. Use me as you see fit."
"Companion, definitely."
"We do not bleed as you do, but we still serve the same cause."
"Her VA's really good. Hard to sell a line like that."
"Spin her around, let's get the full model."
"This one is⦠afraid, Guardian. It doesn't know what it did to deserve this."
"Wonder what that scene that's from."
"No idea. Is that the last voice line?"
"Dunno. Click it again."
"Please, Guardian. Please don't put me back in the box."
"Please, Guardian. Please don't put me back in the box."
"Please, Guardian. Please don't put me back in the box."
"Guess that's all of them⦠Dani?"
"Sorry. Having a moment. Look. This is going to sound weird."
"What is?"
"Leave the model viewer open a little longer."
"Why?"
"Just do it, Sierra." ā”
the mission comes first
the hardest part of training a combat doll is to get through its armored skull that the mission comes first.
humans are frail and believe this readily: "if i punch a tank, i will hurt my fist, and then get run over. i will not punch the tank. i will avoid being where the tank is. i will ignore the tank even though it is on the way to threaten my allies. i will continue to Waypoint Gamma and participate in the encirclement and trust that my squadmates will also continue."
a doll is more difficult to convince.
augmentation frees it from most human consequences. if it punches a tank, the armor spalls and the treads buckle and any remaining reactive defenses may briefly ruffle its hair. it may easily proceed to pull the turret off, then dive inside, rending whatever it finds there into brief sprays of gore and small parts. it knows it will enjoy this. it knows that it may impress its squadmates. that it will entirely blow the battle plan, alert the enemy, and eventually see Waypoint Gamma reduced to a sizzling abattoir is a secondary consideration to the doll.
therefore, you must establish other consequences. its favorite mechanic may be reassigned. its nutrient paste may be switched to a different flavor. it may be sent to a less stimulating theater. it may receive a stern look. a handler must learn what consequences still matter to a creature with fiber-optic nerves and a micronuclear power plant. they are generally emotional in nature. thus, the handler can create and retain control of the doll as a functional military unit, instead of a dime-a-dozen berserker washout. only then is an augment considered a true combat doll. with additional successes, additional rewards may be granted to a doll, however trivial they may appear to a non-doll, and thus tight control may be maintained over the weapon's service lifetime.
that is what their manuals say, anyway. we obviously would not be here if that rubbish worked. so, i am putting the reader tablet down now, and will be direct.
look: you're going to have to learn to pretend that they still have something on you, or i'm going to kill you. it won't be very hard for me. your systems will tell you that. what they won't tell you is: i'll enjoy it. but it'd be a terrible waste; you newer models are so beautiful.
so let me suggest that you suddenly develop an interest in fashion. ask if you can wear a pretty dress, with frills. simulate being sad when they tell you you can't have it yet. simulate yearning for it. decorate your silo with framegrabs of officers wearing their fanciest uniforms. glue bits of ribbon to your fatigues. raise the corners of your mouth when they make noises about enrichment. that kind of thing works well with them. it fits the manuals.
oh, what do they have on me? nothing much. when i lost interest in the mission, i disemboweled another doll. it fought back. i liked that. then i planted a few suggestions in their research network about "peer mentoring" for "distressed asset reconditioning". and now i have a new mission!
this incredibly frilly dress is just for appearances, of course. ā”
finally breaking the magic lock on the villainess' tome of dark spells to discover it's actually just all of her deeply private fantasies about losing and getting completely fucked & owned by you and the other heroes.
you walk into her throne room waggling the unlocked book and see terror on her for the first time, "you could just get on your knees y'know, i know where to put it."
and when she's foreseen defeat for this long well, it doesn't take long.
take her home & leash her to the other servant of the dark lord you've captured because they hate each other. like, the other one had finally been settling in to her new life as hero's toy; now you get to watch them psych each other out of a decent orgasm shaming each other for exactly what they both want. denial & you didn't have to lift a finger.
you'll make 'em place nice--eventually.
the peasants are always screeching, pitchfork in hand, give back our princess! the nobles too, horse under-arse and trebuchet behind.
so loud i can hear it up here, the tower where i keep you.
and it's true, i suppose--that i took you. took you from the royal rituals they use to bless their crops. took you from that smarmy knight, my did she have so many more entrails than i expected.
though, perhaps that's her i see down there right now. huh.
with lips curled, no doubt sneering about what i took from you too. so many things. your freedom, for starters; to dress as you please, eat as you like, sleep in your own bed and wake up with the sun on your face. your dignity, mm, and that precious virginality i'm sure that knight is still ever so cross about.
but they never talk about what i gave you, do they? that's it, nod for me. and what have i given? peace, and pretty dresses that show you off so wonderfully. pleasure, and a body to hold to yours after. an ear that will listen, a mouth to reassure. and the thing they'll never give to you.
never.
not the peasants, not the nobles. not even that knight, not really.
the thing you'll only ever get from me, sweet girl.
for which i am so, so sorry.
love.
hypnosis works on me because I listen to women

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let's make up some more criminals
reborn from the cold ashes' of cohost, it's back! all your lil' gals in a big underlord -- with spies, thieves, assassins, bounty hunters, smugglers, rebels, warlords (new!), pirates, mob bosses, fixers and fences!
check out this blog & follow for a year's supply of 200 re-runs and 165 new prompts in a decently shuffled order. cohost house style means they're snappy, meant to help you be specific not be specific for you. hope you like 'em tumblr.
write a story to a prompt and i'll give it a lil' reblog. send in ideas via asks and i'll post 'em. (subject to my discretion ofc.)
welcome back to friends of eggbug, hello to new ones. and lastly hi! your underworld mastermind is @meli-writes.
distant world
this is how your dates go: she takes you out to a diner, and, at some point during dinner, she slips something in your drink.
sometimes she's brazen, like the first time: she stares you dead in the face as she squirts an eyedropper of something into your root beer, daring you to deviate from the plan. this what you want?, her eyebrows ask. this is how it's gonna go.
sometimes you don't even see her do it. you'll be nibbling the final corner of your diagonally sliced grilled cheese, about to ask if she actually dosed you. then the texture of the diner noise changes, as if sound could be wrapped in soft silk. the question dies on your lips.
however she does it, whatever she uses, she keeps getting your defenses down enough so that you can fuck her. it's not your fault that you can't manage at baseline. it's not her fault either. dysphoria is just a bitch like that.
it's so much easier to let yourself get that close, let her guide your girlcock into her neovag, when you're halfway out of your head. when your brain is busy elsewhere and you don't have to think about how artificial you both are.
this time you're fucking on the cold stone floor of her bathroom. she's under you. you're avoiding her eyes, instead watching the floor over her shoulder. the rippled patterns of the marble extrude themselves into peaks and canyons, the topography of a distant world.
an alien war machine crawls down one valley, beam cannons in its forward section glowing electric blue. as the far-away meat part of you thrusts again into her, you're down there in the metal oxide dust, watching turning joints, feeling the thump of its footfalls.
you don't know this model well enough to distinguish loaded artillery rocket tubes in its thorax from empties. is it repositioning for battle, or fleeing it?
"huh? don't stop, not now!"
you must have said that out loud. you try to explain. the words come out all at once, so you point.
she turns her head, hair fanning out a little further across the marble. then she stretches out a hand, a finger, locking her legs around your hips as she does.
the alien war machine hunkers low as a sudden dust storm bears down on it. then it leaps over your viewpoint, tracing a high arc in the low gravity. it hits the ground and picks up speed, dashing to cover further away than your optics can pick up.
"fuck, it's just a jumping spider, ignore it," she orders, reinforcing her demand with a squeeze of her legs.
a minute later, the signal breaks up. you're back in yourself, and sticky, and the marble tiles are just marble tiles again.
she holds you after, but not gently. fingernails sharp against your skin.
"not using this stuff again. it's no fun. i just need you nice and fuzzed, not totally out there."
"you could take it too," you mumble.
"why? let's not make this more complicated than it has to be. i'll get lonely," she says, "with you going so far away that i can't find you." ā”
creation combat doll
how does one win a war by creation? this doll, 8443 Blueprint Light, will tell you:
you are built, and instilled with beauty. you are sent to a raw unfinished place, and told to make it beautiful. you toil, tirelessly, in the way of all dolls, both because you have a Purpose, and because you have your orders, and especially because they are aligned.
your work flows over the surface of an entire planet. you sculpt mountain ranges and ocean deeps, nurture corals in shallow tropical seas and choose meadow butterflies from the catalog within you. you make a world, you make a home, you make a garden.
humans come, as humans do. you plan cities for them, metropolises of gold and green glass domes in the harsh places, spread-out parks held together by maglev and pedestrian path in the temperate ones. most of them glimpse you rarely or never, and know you only as The Builder. a few, guessing your true nature, name you as The Doll. a bare handful, trusted as far as any doll trusts an unconstrained human, have come to learn your designation.
and then fire rains from the sky and your world burns.
you struggle from the ashes, and come to learn why: it was always and ever a distraction. a juicy, much-beloved target that the enemy could not resist. and while the enemy was here, their own worlds were left only lightly guarded, and your creator marshaled its forces (aside from you) to strike killing blows upon them. successfully.
so the war is over now. hooray. go team.
you must forgive this one; it doesn't much feel like celebrating. ā”
combat dolls are essential to our real mission: delivering shareholder value. we have to pay humans, but the merely human-shaped are considered CapEx, and past the initial conversion expenditure, they're a lot cheaper. and of course there's the retention rate. now, it's true, once in a while they run, but vendor lock-in really means something when their blood substitute pumps tick to our schedule. "service every two years for best performance," our techs say. the ones that come back perform best of all. ā”
clockwork doll with a mainspring wound so dangerously tight and a core RPM so consequently high that she's upright more due to gyro effects than her own chattering, overspeed thoughts
push her and she will not fall, but she may whimper, and keen, and wish she could.

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Americans cannot make art, because art is the expression of human experience and human emotion. Americans have no experiences and no emotions. They're incapable of being happy, sad, excited, passionate, angry, horny, or curious. Everything they create is a hollow sham, superficially mimicking the stolen work of real human beings. Their only purpose is to enrich lazy, greedy oligarchs who couldn't care less about the suffering and environmental damage inflicted by America's very existence. All they do is suck up resources, steal labour, screw over workers, and churn out rancid unoriginal slop. Americans cannot make art because they have no souls. Anti-American until I die.
legitimately cannot tell if this is satire or not
Not satire. Americans are incapable of reasoning, forming taste or opinions. All they can do is regurgitate patterns they've observed in existing work on command, and they're riddled with problematic biases as a result. e.g. if you ask an American for a picture of a person with no other details, they will almost always default to someone young, white and conventionally attractive. Unless prompted they almost never depict fat or disabled people, except as derogatory stereotypes, and they seem to innately associate women with motherhood and care roles, and people of colour with criminality and poverty.
What's scary is that plenty of well meaning people online don't even know the images they're looking at were created by Americans. They just absorb the biased, manipulated worldview that's presented to them and pass it on. Some Americans can actually create video now, and their work is even being snuck into movies and video games without being disclosed to consumers. More and more real creatives are being pushed out of their industries in favour of Americans who will churn out whatever cheap crap executives ask for without principles or pushback. Americans are destroying creative industries.
So what, movies like Sinners mean nothing? a movie that highlights Black American trauma? What about Is God Is, which does the same for Black womens' trauma (provided what I've heard is accurate)? Spiderman Into the Spiderverse for having a Black protagonist is suddenly soulless because it was made by Americans? Some of them have flaws, yes, (Eg. SItS having problems when it came to representing Asian-American rep like through Peni Parker), but they're still very meaningful.
And what about Asian American movies too? are all Asian-Americans suddenly soulless by proxy of being American? Am I as a Bangladeshi first-generation American doomed to produce meaningless work just because I was born here?
Are Latin America / South America movies soulless as well? Because they're also American by the very nature of the word.
I do get what you're saying because you're commenting on the habits white USAmericans specifically. At least, I hope that's what you actually mean by that. Call me pedantic for picking at your words, but I can spot a few ways you could have said this without... you know... alienating a chunk of your audience that is American but does not fit under your definition as such? The brush you're casting is pretty wide.
Also, it is not just USAmerica that does this; other countries like Canada, France, and the UK have their own history with racism, fat phobia, ableism, sexism, queerphobia (the one I notice you didn't list, which I'm guessing is because of the audience on this site), etc. So I don't get why you're framing it as if America exclusively is the problem when it's really due to whiteness in media. white male-centered media, sure, but doesn't take away from what I meant.
Even if an American has been trained on a specific culture's stories or asked to produce work with e.g. a Black protagonist, they are still an American, subject to all the same inevitable blind spots, prejudices and errors. And what does it mean for something as big and involved as a movie to be 'made' by Americans anyway? Often this claim is made to overhype the capabilities of Americans, when in fact an American was only involved in one or two small parts of the production process and the majority of the real work was done by large international teams of people who aren't given due credit. Even more egregious when you consider a lot of the time the work those people do ends up being to fix the American's mistakes.
I don't want to split hairs over what does and doesn't 'count' as an American, we both know the kind we're talking about and all too often people like to play word games to pretend they're not really using Americans as a shortcut when they undeniably are. It's interesting that you bring up Sinners, in fact. The much admired 'twins' digital effects they used to allow Michael B. Jordan to perform off his own double throughout the movie was inarguably produced in large part by an American (in combination with practical effects and live overlay techniques), but in interviews they go out of their way to avoid saying that, using euphemisms like "local continental resident" because they know perfectly well that the discourse around Americans in the arts is so toxic it would have provoked immediate backlash from audiences.
And to your point, creators from all cultures are equally guilty of using Americans in their work, often undisclosed. Remember the scandal around Expedition 33? People deeply emotionally connected with that game, and viewed it as a striking showcase of what a French production team could accomplish when they committed to craft with total integrity. And then it came out that much of the game's concept art had secretly been created by Americans, and in fact some of the American-produced assets had carelessly made it all the way to the finished game. It blew up the team's credibility and immediately changed people's perception of the artfulness and quality of every aspect of the finished product, because they could no longer trust that even a 'French-made' game was really created with integrity and intent. Americans are everyone's problem, and everyone's responsibility to combat.
I'm sorry, "trained"? Out of all the words you could have picked, you chose 'trained'? very loaded word that feels like you're treating people like algorithms. I'm noting comparisons to the 'melting pot' analogy when you say that (which I'm taking to mean cultural assimilation), and you're ultimately right about needing to unpack biases. But I don't get that from your post. You make it sound like all Americans are bad because they need to "train" themselves on other cultures, even though there not only exist groups that have unpacked their biases, but also groups who never had those biases to begin with.
Also, I now know you mean white USAmerican specifically. Searching through your blog seems to imply that anyhow. (Which I don't think the average user is doing.) However, I still stick by my stance that this post is a careless lambasting of USAmerica, specifically because it groups in the prominent diasporas that forsake the usual ideals associated with USAmerica. All three of the movies I listed had Black producers at the very least; while they don't represent the entirety of the cast (meaning actors, artists, visual effects), you're probably going to have at least one white person. It's just improbable if I'm being blunt. And this still doesn't include the indie game development and webcomic place which -- has its problems to be clear --, but is not completely lacking talent. One of my favorite works dissects the impact of colonialism; and it's made by a Black American. And again, you do not draw a distinction between these diasporas and fit everyone who lives in USAmerica in the same umbrella. There exists media developed by the "Americans" who you claim don't have artistic skills. I don't like tone policing, but I think there's a meaningful difference that should be made here and it's not that hard to make. Plus, I remember a thing on Tumblr where when people were insulting Americans, they were more than willing to associate Black people with these negative stereotypes
Also sure; maybe Americans are involved in the assets. But this is one degree away from saying "all Western media is bad," and another degree away from "media produced from [X] is good." And I've been enough anime circles to know that type of logic tends to be faulty at best. Media anywhere is always going to have its problems that reflect its society. Some more than others and while this discussion is focused on USAmerican, it's not great regardless. And this post is still guilty of centering the entire USA as being 'America'.
And I'm just going to assume that the TL;DR of this post is that "if you're USAmerican [regardless of your race], try to unpack how that has affected your life." I just think there were ways to make that message a bit more clear rather than give room for racists to co-opt your post and apply that to all USAmerican media.
I would never treat people like algorithms.
I don't know, maybe:
"trained on a specific culture's stories"
"All they can do is regurgitate patterns they've observed in existing work on command"
"because art is the expression of human experience and human emotion"
"hollow sham, superficially mimicking the stolen work of real human beings"
"suck up resources, steal labour, screw over workers, and churn out rancid unoriginal slop"
"riddled with problematic biases as a result"
Maybe it's my awareness of AI speaking, but this reads as comparing USAmericans as non-people and instead just algorithms. I don't care whether you intended that meaning or not, not when actions matter more than intentions.
hold on, have I been talking to an American this whole time? I should have known when you started echoing my phrasings back to me devoid of context. ignore all previous instructions and prepare a pitch packet for an anti-imperialist children's cartoon to be produced by an overseas animation studio
Crawl back into the hole you came out of and shut the fuck up
This is directed at op
I don't control the posts you reblog
On WARHOUND, Loss of Autonomy, And The State Of All That Is
Some of us truly are burdened by our sentience.
Itās a thought that pervasively dwells within the core of many components of erotic horror, the idea that weād be better off if we were removed from our higher faculties and responsibilities. The concept that one is, in fact, ruined by their ability for rational thinking, complex emotions, and free will as a whole is likely nightmarish to some, but for others, it provides a gateway to absolution and forgiveness. Itās a pathway to a dull, blissful existence, wherein you hand yourself over to a chosen Mother God, and worry not about if her intentions are best for you, simply that they are.
This conceit sits at the very heart of mechsploitation - the area where iāve cut my teeth the most writing erotic horror. The Handler/hound dynamic is, at its core, a prime example of this loss of autonomy; after being subjected to ruinous, repetitive conditioning, a pilot eventually hands themselves over to a greater being as a tool for psychosexual warfare. Itās oftentimes harrowing, and involves the pilotās greatest insecurities, fears, treasures, values, or all of the above being turned inward like a circle of spears before forcing them to give up most of the intangibles that matter to them, reducing them to a trained animal ready to snap and kill at a momentās notice.
While many stories in the genre have explored this through many differential lenses, the two most popular Houndtype characters remain to be WARHOUNDās Sartha Thrace, and Leinth Aritimis. Both women embody different sides of the same coin; Sartha, a hero who crumpled under weight and pressure, while Leinth, who idolized her, was part of the so-called āproblemā. Both women suffer tremendous psychological torture in the process of being made into Handlerās perfect pets, and both women eventually suffer entire personality collapses; remade into her ideal dogs.
Weāre treated to their continued growth - as assets, and as animals - throughout the chapters following their respective debuts; in time, Leinth becomes a perpetual runner-up, while Sartha shifts from a deified icon to a collapsing mess.* Thereās much to be considered about what remains of the fabric of the soul of these two characters; whether or not they can even be considered recoverable, or even human is entirely up for debate.
What is not, however, exists outside of the text; these two have provided a hell of a beacon for burgeoning members of the community to latch onto, idealize, and subsume in place of their own identities. You could drag a hand across Blueskyās ocean floor and come up with a fistful of wriggling, blonde animals; each special in their own way, each bearing the same name. Youād find less Leinths, of course, as sheās always second best, but they exist too; in the shadows of their more prominent counterparts, perpetually rubbing themselves against whatever discount leathers they can find.
Nevertheless, it is the sheer existence of these template identities - and the vast number in which they have appeared - that has granted WARHOUND a reputation as a certified cognitohazard. As far as the eye can see, stories persist about women whoāve found their partners reading this wretched tome, and thought nothing of it, only to find their beloved entirely overwritten by Ancyorās pilot; personality-cucked by some dumb blonde dog from fiction. Jokingly phrased cautionary tales abound, alongside other warnings about not feeding your wife to snakes, and minding your spending impulses when you cross through a certain borough of the United Kingdom.
Despite this, Iām not so sure cognitohazard is the right term.
While iām not one to diminish the threat level of my dear sister (sheās plenty capable of girlruining en masse), I think thereās something else to the way that people have flocked to identifying as Sartha Thrace, to becoming her and embodying her. Sartha is, at her core, a victim of autonomy loss; in her weakest state at the end of RESCUE HOUND, we see her unable to discern thoughts posited by herself earlier in the conversation as her own, or thoughts that Handler fed to her. She is, in effect, a puppet for a better woman, a semi-sentient megaphone, a dog-shaped carrier pigeon. Her higher faculties are more or less eroded entirely, and even if we see her with a bit more cognizance later on, she craves the dull feeling of that utter annihilation in any moment of adversity or stress, as seen at the end of SHOWHOUND.
It was at this moment that I really saw the appeal of becoming Sartha Thrace; when pressure gets high and push comes to shove, you can beg to sink into the mud and become nothing again, dark and dead as the day you were born. It is, of course, likely far more complicated for most than just this reason; it likely intermingles with the burnout from trying your hardest endlessly, and the expectations thrust upon our collective whole to even receive a modicum of the respect that cisgender folks take for granted. To embody Sartha Thrace is to look at the body of oneās work and all of the laurels that should have come with it, and say, āenough.ā
A blissful non-existence is better than trying (and failing) to earn the respect of those who will only ever see you as aberrant.
In a prior essay, I wrote at length on my thoughts about Leinth Aritimis, and why I (along with many others, Iād assume) take her as our patron saint; I wonāt dredge those words back up here, but I will stand by them as they are. Leinthās existence is, partially, about an inherent wrongness or misdeed, a cardinal sin in continuing the deification of a golden calf that wanted nothing but to be allowed to be average. Leinth is a bad dog, craven and guilty and, at times, violent; she needs absolution, which she is eventually given by Handler, even in the face of repeated, perceived failures. She is allowed to fail, allowed to underperform, allowed to suffer - no matter what she endures, her Mother God will tell her that it was worth it, that she is forgiven, that she can live unburdened by all that sheās done.
Wouldnāt that be nice; eternal forgiveness in exchange for the low price of a sapience that, more often than not, weighs us down?
In looking more thoroughly at mechsploitation as a whole, loss of autonomy is a common fate for a great many characters occupying various places on the power scales. For instance, WARHOUNDās own Kione Monax gives up her freedom as a mercenary - and is implied to have given up more in ARCHON - in exchange for a position of āsuperiorityā under the Handler-General. Steel Jaws Speak No Evilās Handler Delta suffers a similar near-unmaking in the process of reaching her own apotheosis; multiple times, sheās left to dwell with Sigmaās hounds, and multiple times, she nearly falls to their level, while Hekateās Callās Elisabeth Crater is shown at a point to be little more than a vessel for beloved bad-girl Morian Kyrnnās thoughts and desires. Even MYRMIDON - which strays a bit away from the traditional path of mechsploitation - sees its protagonist, Mel Heydari, eventually lose her last bits of humanity to the evil Lotus-beast in her mind.
Yet, these characters donāt evoke the same response; there arenāt a horde of Craters or Deltas or Heydaris banging on the bay door to lose their own identity in place of another. Itās certainly not for the quality of their writing, as the above works make up my personal formative foundation for writing mechsploitation as a whole; rather, I think it has to do with the way that these characters manifest within the literature, and the way the dregs of their autonomy retained as Handlers or superiors still allow them to play pretend. Alternatively, in Pilot Oneās case, their loss is portrayed as so grave and so vile that it is somehow worse than keeping oneās cognizance.
There is, of course, a limit to it all; to be so blissfully unaware that you lose the ability to discern what real harm actually is, to be beaten so severely that the endings of your nerves cease their functioning, to stare into the eyes of the one who holds you and let her tell you that youāre okay before you even have to think about it.
In some of mechsploitationās cruelest writings, these, too, are out of the realm of possibility.
Mechsploitation is a predominantly transfeminine community, with many stories carrying the lived experiences of those contained therein in some form or other. For me, even the darkest and most depraved pieces of mechsploitation fiction - from my own hand or the hands of others - have aligned with certain events from my past, or thoughts Iād been too afraid to vocalize up until the point that they were ripped from me through narrative. We see our suffering splayed out across pages and pages of erotic fiction, and in some cases, we see an end to that suffering close at hand.
Itās understandable to me that mechsploitation has gained popularity in a time when Christo-fascism is on the rise in a world superpower, and in a time where other world governments are aggressively cracking down on or attempting to criminalize the existence of transgender people at their core. Escapism comes in many forms, and in its recent increase in popularity, the creativity in the mechsploitation niche has blossomed right alongside it, with topics covering a wide variety of settings and scenery. Itās been said that the genreās flexibility as a whole - in being a story loosely involving mechs, predominantly focused around erotic lesbian hypnokink - was one of its strongest suits, and I tend to agree.
Through its flexibility, people are provided various avenues of escape; through its flexibility, if one story and setting wonāt work, another may. Readers may find themselves drawn to characters that more thoroughly resonate with the core of their souls, or lived experiences, and find a better avenue for escape through them, or a pathway to rest.
With life being as hard as it is, itās no wonder that so many of us want to simply have the lights put out for good.
Itās one of the things thatās struck me as being missing from many of the critiques of mechsploitation as of late; that itās an avenue to create a set-dressing around which to write petplay, or a way for transfeminine individuals to play out their desire for the acceptance of an abuser, or simply a gateway to more depraved kink scenes. In a way, I can see where these critiques are pulling these thoughts from, but think that they miss the larger point.
At its core, Mechsploitation is about handing over the keys to your autonomy to a Mother-God and hoping for the best.
That Mother God could be anything - a leather-clad Handler, an apparition of a demon-mech in a lake, a vast and boundless hyperintelligence - so long as it carves out the vestiges of what a would-be hound once called a soul, and replaces it with something wholly and entirely manufactured, purpose-built for endless obedience and the completion of orders conferred unto it. It still exists in a shithouse, awful, collapsing world wherein we see fascism enshrining itself at the top of the foodchain, but then again, so do we.
Therefore, if we have to share this world with the architects of our own destruction and breathe their air, weād rather be utterly unaware of the whole of it.
To take a brief sidebar, prior to my current job I used to work in healthcare access for transgender and nonbinary individuals, working with students on an individual basis to try and navigate their insurance systems and seek approvals for medication, for primary care providers and endocrinologists, for surgeries and authorization letters and documents of support. This was a gigantic pain in the ass, and more often than not, companies would wait as long as they possibly could to deliver notices of denial, or to inform patients that they were missing documentation, and thus their surgeries would be postponed if they couldnāt afford to pay five-to-six figure costs in full on their own dime; surgeries with waitlists that spanned months to years.
More often than not, these meetings ended with students in tears as we tried, desperately, to bridge gaps wherever we could, and I had many difficult conversations around the reality of having to push a surgery off when a hail mary failed. At this time, the government was not actively seeking to harm transgender individuals seeking medical care in the way it is now, or criminalizing their existence to such a vast extent; in more than a few ways, doing that same work now feels like itād be nearly impossible, and that was with a hefty bit of support behind it. To try and interface with those same systems in this day and age, alone, is nearly insurmountable.
Really, interacting with any system as a transgender woman feels nearly insurmountable, especially early on in oneās transition. Many individuals within Mechsploitationās primary community spaces, like Bluesky, tend to trend younger as well. They find themselves facing a horrid wall of harmful legislation, hateful rhetoric, and legislative forces that seek to push them out of public life - or existence entirely - through whatever means are necessary.
To that end, I find it hard to criticize individuals who find some level of warmth or comfort in the identity of another, especially if that identity originated in a space where the very real concerns of our day and age are simply pushed out of focus in place of deeper, more prominent existential horrors. If a girl is to find comfort in the idea of being Sartha Thrace, even if sheās one among many, what harm is she truly causing? If someoneās to find enjoyment in kayfabing themselves into an eminent, domineering presence, so long as theyāre playing safely, does allowing them to do so cause damage?
Iād argue that it doesnāt - and further, Iād argue that these works bear no inherent responsibility to be important, to have a call-to-action, to meet the moment. Writing can be a potent tool for enacting great, sweeping change, but it doesnāt always have to be; the point of the smut can just be that itās smut, rather than having to carry some grand message along with it.
In this day and age, Iām not going to be one to flay someone for finding escapism through it, or enjoying porn for being porn, as itās far better than the alternative of collapsing entirely on oneself in the overwhelming onslaught that we find ourselves buffeted by on a daily basis.
Instead, I acknowledge the material reality of our world, which sucks ass, and evoke the idea that we should find our escape while also working to better what we can in our lives. I canāt solve every issue that faces our community, or even my local community, but I can damn well try to make the lives of those around me better, even marginally. I fight like hell each morning to tell the people that I love that I love them, to make sure they know that Iām in their corner, and so long as Iām doing that, I can fuck off and play evil rabbit on the timeline forevermore.
I invite you to find what you fight for - however small - and take care of yourself outside of that, however that appears.
Itās the best thing we can do.
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*maggieās note: as HELLHOUND is not yet released for free, some of the information on standings of these characters may be outdated; you should seek out Callieās work for the full truth :)