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Assorted free-range headcanons about Hollanov at 45-55 years old:
Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.
One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.
Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.
Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.
Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.
Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition
New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking
Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.
I just had the most vivid vision come to me like the oracle of Delphi and it’s Shane and Hayden going to do that little head bonk except they’re saying goodbye after a dinner and they’re decidedly not at the rink or wearing helmets and both of them are a second too late curbing their natural reflexes and just straight up bonk each other really hard on the noggin and both go ‘ow fuck ow’. Ilya is watching from the car lovingly wondering if Hayden’s idiocy is infectious.
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and what doth thou desire from me, rozanov? thou hast refused to answer my missives for the passage of six moons! and when thou dost cast thine attention my way, it be for our asinine jester's performance! so prithee, tell me: what doth thou need of me? well????
Shane calls Ilya on the verge of tears one morning, telling him he came in his sleep. It's all "I'm sorry," and "I didn't mean to," and "I know that's no excuse." And that's how Ilya finds out that Shane has been living with self-imposed orgasm denial ever since they became boyfriends because Ilya always tells him when he can cum when they're together so, in Shane's mind, that means he can't cum if Ilya hasn't told him to.
Ilya just about faints with how quickly all the blood in his body rushes to his cock and you best believe that rule becomes explicit after that phone call.
“Ilya, what is this?” Shane says with a laugh. “It’s not my birthday.”
They’ve been celebrating Ilya all weekend. Shane made sure of that. First, Svetlana flew into town for dinner and drinks and dancing, and Ilya came home to Shane giddy and drunk on champagne. The next night was a low-key dinner at Yuna and David’s. David grilled steaks, Ilya won two hands of gin rummy, and at the end of the night, Shane’s cheeks hurt from smiling. And now it's the day Shane’s carved out for just the two of them. He’s made it clear to anyone who needs to know that he and Ilya will be off the grid. Incommunicado. Do not disturb.
Except now Ilya’s not following Shane’s plan. Shane’s cleared away Ilya’s breakfast in bed, but Ilya’s not grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss, or sliding a hand into Shane’s boxers to find where he’s stretched and open and ready for him. No, instead he’s turning away from Shane to reach into his bedside table and take out a small blue bag stuffed with tissue paper. Ilya presents it to Shane with a flourish and a glint in his eye. Inside the bag, Shane finds a nondescript box. And when Shane opens the box, bright metal shines back at him.
“Ilya,” Shane says. His mouth feels dry around the word. His heart is pounding in his ears. “This is a, um—”
“A cock cage, yes.”
“Is it…is it for you?” Shane knows it’s not.
Ilya chuckles. “No, moya lyubov."
“But I don’t…why?” Shane asks with a frown. Ilya loves Shane’s cock. After all these years, Shane is sure of that. He loves how it looks, how it tastes, how it twitches and drips in his hand, in his mouth, without even being touched. Shane looks at the cage and thinks about losing that, about not being able to give that to Ilya, and he’s not scared, he’s not, it’s just—
“Shane, sweetheart. Look at me, Shane.” Ilya’s voice is as firm as the hand on Shane’s chin, and Shane meets his eyes eagerly. He feels a bit lost, needs Ilya to find him and show him the way. Ilya’s eyes are warm and unyielding. He picks up the cage and dangles in front of Shane’s face.
“Read it, moya lyubov.”
Once it’s out of the box, Shane gets a better look. It really is beautiful. The shaft is all filigree metal, twisting and curling toward the tip, but interrupted over halfway down by a solid arching band that reads—
“Property of Ilya Rozanov,” Shane murmurs, barely a whisper. His whole body feels cold, then hot.
“Is true, yes?” Ilya says softly.
“Ilya,” and then Shane’s kissing him, open-mouthed and needy, and of course Ilya kisses him back, but he’s pulling back too soon, pressing gentle pecks to Shane’s mouth instead of taking him deeper. Shane whines and tries to pull him back in.
“Shhh, malysh, listen,” Ilya says, running soothing hands over Shane’s chest, the back of his neck. “You have to be soft for me to put it on, sweetheart.” His eyes flick down to where Shane’s started to chub up from a few quick kisses. “You will wear it for me, yes?”
Shane takes a steadying breath. “Yes, Ilya.”
“Good boy.”
It takes a few minutes for Shane to calm down enough to fit inside the cage. Ilya is all patience. He keeps Shane tucked into his neck and runs gentle hands along Shane’s back until his breath evens out and he goes soft all over. With quick fingers, he slips the cage over Shane’s cock and locks it into place. Shane’s pulse jumps as the click echoes in his ears.
“Look, malysh. So beautiful.”
Shane lifts his head from his hiding place in Ilya’s neck. Ilya’s hand looks huge next to his caged cock. Shane almost feels like he shouldn’t be looking, like it’s not his to look at anymore. The fit is snug but comfortable. From this angle, he can’t miss Ilya’s name stamped across the top. Shane twitches inside the cage.
“Beautiful,” Shane echoes. It’s true, if inadequate.
“Hmm, yes. Such a good gift for me.” Ilya teases his fingers along the metal swirls. Shane doesn’t know what to do. Ilya’s hand is on him, but he can hardly feel it. All he knows is firm metal around his cock, and Ilya. His name swims in front of Shane’s eyes and in his mind, Ilya Ilya Ilya. Shane whines and hides in Ilya’s neck again. Ilya’s answering chuckle rumbles in his chest.
“No, no, sweetheart. Like this,” and then Ilya’s moving him just where he wants, head buried in the pillows, ass up and on display. From this position, the cage is a persistent tug on his cock that makes Shane whimper. Ilya answers with a groan, “So, so beautiful.”
Shane knows Ilya’s close by, but his voice sounds far away. He thinks about how he must look to him, spread out and shaking, a caged cock hanging heavy between his thighs. His morning preparation is a distant memory until Ilya’s fingers find his hole, stretched open and ready for his cock. “Oh, such a good boy,” Ilya coos.
“S’for you, Ilya,” Shane has trouble forming the words, but he needs Ilya to know. He did have a plan.
“Yeah? Got all stretched open for me, huh?” Shane registers the question but can’t find his voice to give an answer. He pushes his hips back instead, trying to fuck himself on Ilya’s searching fingers. The heavy cage resists the movement, and the answering pull makes Shane’s cock pulse.
“Poor baby. This hungry hole’s been waiting all morning.” Shane whines and nods into the pillow. Without warning, Ilya spreads him open and licks into him with a groan. Shane might just die. His face is so hot, and his cock is so hard. Or he thinks it is. The cage is a tight, hot pressure wrapped around him, and Ilya’s tongue is a wet, hot pressure against his rim. Shane’s heart is pounding in his cock and his chest and his ears. It's so loud he almost misses the words tumbling from Ilya’s mouth.
“Christ, you look so good, sweetheart. Got this cock all wrapped up for me, yeah? Keeping it so safe and locked up for me. Do you want me to touch it?” The words make tears prick in Shane’s eyes. He tries and fails to speak around the lump in his throat. Ilya gives the cage a small tug. “Answer me, Shane.”
Shane draws in a shuddering breath. “Don’t—don’t want to choose. It’s not my cock, Ilya. S’yours.” He swallows hard as his tears start to fall.
“Oh baby, you’re so good. Thank you.” Ilya says, and then his hands are tight on Shane’s hips and he’s pushing in, deep and hard and perfect. Shane melts into the mattress as Ilya fucks him. It’s a relief to have something to clench around. He’s desperate for a distraction from the unforgiving metal wrapped around his cock. Ilya holds nothing back. Shane feels him all the way down to his toes. Heat spreads from his balls to his cock and up into his stomach. It pushes more tears from his eyes, makes him cry out into the pillow beneath him.
Shane doesn’t understand what his body is doing. Distantly, he knows that if the cage weren't there, he would have come already. As it is, every fuck of Ilya’s hips jostles his caged cock, sending delicious aching shockwaves of pleasure throughout his body. His stomach and balls clench tighter and tighter as Ilya pounds his prostate on each stroke. All he can do is shake and sob and clench around Ilya’s cock.
“Yeah, yeah, fucking hell, sweetheart. Gonna make you come, yeah?” Shane cries out at the thought. He can’t, he can’t. There’s no room, no space for him to let go in the confines of the cage. He’s helpless, trapped between the unrelenting pressure of the metal wrapped around him and Ilya fucking into him. For a wild moment he thinks he might never come again. Still, Ilya doesn’t let up.
“C’mon, I know you can give it to me. It’s my cock, yes? My cock and my choice, and I want to see it come. Be a good boy and let me have it, malysh.” And then Ilya’s pressing him even harder into the mattress, his hand tight on the back of Shane’s neck, and Shane’s body is burning, so hot it must be able to melt the metal. There’s no other way to explain the heat that washes over his cock as he lets go with a shout.
When Shane comes to, he's wrapped in Ilya’s arms, Ilya's voice in his ear telling him how lovely and good he is, how proud Ilya feels. He opens his eyes as Ilya asks, “How do you feel, sweetheart?”
Shane’s not sure how to answer. Sore. Wrung out. Remade. Instead, he burrows into Ilya’s shoulder and says, “Ilya, holy shit. How did you know I could—”
“Come while wearing that?” He gestures to the cock cage sitting innocently on their bedside table. “It’s my birthday,” he says simply. “I knew you’d give me whatever I asked for.”
There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.
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@lavenderprose has brought to my attention that I have made a fatal error on this blog by not making clear that MY happy and healed future Shane gains weight as an integral part of his aforementioned happiness. It is a pillar of how I envision hollanov's domestic life.
I've seen plenty of horny posting about bear!Ilya, so I think we need to be spreading more of that energy for fat Shane. Hollanov getting bigger and happier and hairier,,, what bliss.
In Unrivaled, I’m gonna need Ilya ‘Lover Boy’ Rozanov to be completely unhinged when it comes to Shane. For over 10 years he had to be cool, calm and collected in public. They are now out, on the same team and that is his HUSBAND. I want Ilya doing press and constantly saying “my husband” and Shane just rolling his eyes. I want the other Centaurs players teasing their captain for being so in love. When assholes try to chirp on the ice, I want Ilya making sure people keep his husband’s name out their mf’n mouths. I want Ilya finding ways to bring up Shane in conversation so he can call him “my husband”. llya’s social media bio should read “#81 Shane Hollander’s Husband. I play hockey sometimes too.” Let Ilya love his man unabashedly because he and Shane fought so hard for this-and they finally got it. Let Ilya “my man my man my man” everyone to death 😭😭😭😭