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β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) uppercase intended!! short ass chap cos im experiencing like minor writer's block rn :((
Ledger sent the invitation to you. And poor man, he instantly regretted it, so he puts his phone down face flat on the counter surface.
Ledger's inner voice has somehow become louder than any of his thoughts that are trying to convince him that you won't come - because: you might be busy; you have a life and friends and so many other people you'd rather spend a Saturday with; he also is realising that inviting you...may or may not have crossed an invisible line (that was a very visible line to everyone but the two of you).
Ledger is halfway through helping D find her second matching trainer when his phone buzzes. Your contact name lights his phone up with a message saying:
hey yk what? i'd love to come
coincidentally my plans had been cancelled too LOL
and like i have been meaning to go there anyway so... win-win :))
Diem notices the look on her father's face. And for a seven year old, she'd been utterly observant these days. And the look on his face isn't one to miss at all, and says, "She said yes didn't she?"
Ledger stares at her incredulously. "H-how did you know?"
Diem simply shrugs. "'Cause. You do that thing where you smile with your eyebwows!"
Ledger immediately disputes the observation and starts getting into a heated debate with her (you can imagine how that went down).
As the brawl continues, Diem is babbling away as to how Ledger's face changes when it comes in regard to you, but he stopped listening ages ago. He was now standing in her bedroom, in front of her closet, trying to pick her a jumper because the weather had dropped a bit unexpectedly.
Diem's babbles halted as soon as Ledger asks what hair she wants and if she wants any accessories. And as any seven year old girl would do, she spends about ten minutes trying to decide between her two favourite hair clips - her rainbow puppy hair clip, or her sunshine happy face hair clip.
She asked whether she should wear the bow from her dance recital because "Miss Y/N liked it~".
And Ledger laughs.
Because he had also noticed he's paying a little more attention to what shirt he himself puts on than he normally would ('cos he rotates the same couple of tees each week).
He changes once.
Then again - wasn't right for a market, dude. - his inner voice remarked.
He then tells himself it's because the first tee had coffee on it from earlier on in the week at his shift at Ward's.
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
β€· Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs) - also the editing is doing my head in so apologies if it looks really scruffy <33
Our Little World.
The first thing Amira noticed was how different the world felt.
Nothing was the same. Because for the first time, they weren't stepping out of the house as just Amira and Tyriq.
They were stepping out as Mum and Dad. The thought settled warmly in her chest as she walked slowly beside him, one hand tucked securely into the crook of his arm while the other absentmindedly rested on the edge of the pram.
Tyriq, meanwhile, looked like he was transporting a priceless museum artefact.
His hands gripped the handlebar with almost comical concentration, his pace noticeably slower than usual as he carefully navigated every crack in the pavement. Every dropped kerb. Every tiny bump.
Every uneven paving stone became an obstacle requiring intense strategic planning.
Amira watched him for nearly two whole minutes before finally smiling to herself.
"Bunny?"
"Hm?"
"You know prams have wheels, right?"
He didn't look away from the pavement.
"I know."
"So..."
"They're doing their job."
She bit back another laugh.
"I don't think you need to avoid every single leaf."
"I don't know if it's slippery."
"It's a leaf."
"It could be deceptive."
She burst into laughter. A proper laugh this time. The kind that doubled her over slightly.
Tyriq finally looked at her.
"What?"
"You've officially become impossible."
"I've become cautious."
"You walked around a dandelion."
"It looked suspicious."
She reached up and pinched his arm affectionately.
"Oh, sweetheart."
His serious expression cracked almost instantly into a grin.
"I just don't want her first outing to involve unnecessary turbulence."
Amira glanced into the pram.
Zaliyah, completely unaware of her father's painstaking efforts, was fast asleep beneath a soft cream blanket, her tiny nose barely visible above the edge.
"I don't think she's noticed."
Tyriq's shoulders relaxed just enough for him to glance down too.
The sight made his entire face soften.
"There she is."
Amira had noticed that happened a lot.
Every single time he looked at their daughter, the rest of the world disappeared. His eyes lost that playful spark and instead filled with something quieter.
Something deeper. Pure devotion. It made her heart ache in the best way.
They continued walking at an unhurried pace until they reached the little high street they visited almost every weekend before Zaliyah had been born.
The flower shop owner smiled the second she saw them.
"Oh!"
Her face brightened immediately.
"You had your baby!"
Amira smiled warmly.
"We did."
The woman stepped out from behind buckets overflowing with sunflowers and lavender, her expression softening as she peeked carefully into the pram.
"Oh, goodness."
Her hand flew gently to her chest.
"She's absolutely beautiful."
Tyriq couldn't help himself. A smile stretched across his face so wide his cheeks began to ache.
"Thank you."
"How old?"
"Just over a week."
The florist looked back and forth between them before grinning knowingly.
"You've both got that look."
Amira laughed.
"What look?"
"The exhausted one."
Tyriq snorted.
"Fair."
"The completely besotted one."
That made both of them glance down at Zaliyah simultaneously.
Without even thinking, their hands found each other over the pram handle. The florist noticed. Her smile somehow softened even more.
"She's a lucky little girl."
As they continued on, Amira slipped her fingers through his.
The owner, Mr Patel, looked up from wiping down one of the outdoor tables and immediately broke into the biggest smile.
"Tyriq!!"
He came around the counter before stopping himself a respectful distance away.
"So this is who you've both been hiding away with."
Tyriq laughed. "Our daughter."
Mr Patel bent carefully to look inside the pram.
"Oh..."
His eyes lit up.
"Welcome to the neighbourhood, little one."
He straightened with a smile.
"Your usual order?" Amira nodded.
"If that's okay."
"For you two?"
He waved a hand dismissively.
"Always."
While Mr Patel disappeared inside, Amira noticed a little girl standing with her mother a few metres away.
She couldn't have been older than five. She kept peeking shyly toward the pram. Eventually, encouraged by her mum, she toddled over.
"Excuse me?"
Amira crouched slightly.
"Hi."
The little girl pointed toward Zaliyah.
"Is that your baby?"
"It is."
"She's very little."
Amira smiled.
"She is."
The child thought for a moment before giving a tiny wave toward the sleeping newborn.
"Hi, baby."
Tyriq's heart nearly exploded. He looked at Amira. She was already tearing up. The little girl beamed proudly.
"I've got a baby brother."
"Have you?"
She nodded enthusiastically.
"He cries lots."
He laughed.
"They do that."
"But then Mummy cuddles him."
Amira's chest tightened.
"I bet he likes those cuddles."
The little girl looked thoughtfully at Zaliyah one last time before whispering, as though sharing a very important secret, "I think she's going to like cuddles too."
Then she skipped back to her mum. For a long moment, neither Amira nor Tyriq spoke. They simply stood there looking into the pram. At their tiny daughter sleeping peacefully through every conversation.
Through every smile. Through every new face. Amira rested her head lightly against his shoulder.
"You know what?"
"Hm?"
"I used to think becoming parents meant our world would get smaller."
He frowned slightly.
"But it doesn't." She smiled as another passer-by glanced into the pram and smiled before continuing on.
β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
a/n: im so sorry for these late and unscheduled and unorganised posts, im not feeling the best these days but i promise that i will get better onto updating every other day for you guys!!
things worked because they were simple.
didn't they? the thought should have honestly settled the matter. instead, disappointment arrived first.
not relief. disappointment. it settled low in his chest with surprising weight, forcing him acknowledge something he'd been carefully, like, avoiding for weeks on end now.
he didn't want things to stay exactly as they were anymore. the admission, quite frankly, scared him. not because it was wrong - hell no - but because it had felt right.
and right was infinitely more dangerous. before he could lose his nerve again, he unlocked his phone again for what felt like the hundredth time that morning.
his fingers moved before his mind had the chance to overthink them.
hi.
diem's campaigning very hard for an "adventure" this afternoon now that dance had been cancelled.
we were thinking of havin a wonder round the market in town for a couple of hours
no pressure at all, but if ur still yk unexpectedly free...she'd love it if you joined us.
then again. his thumb hovered over the send button for so long that the screen began to dim.
"daddy?" he looked up. diem stood halfway down the stairs wearing two completely socks, one trainer, and what appeared to be a pirate hat she'd found in her dress-up box.
"you've got your thinking face on."
"my what now?"
"the one where your eyebrows do that." she demonstrated by scrunching her forehead until she looked deeply and utterly concerned about something entirely imaginary.
ledger laughed despite himself. "i do not have a thinking face."
"you do."
"i don't."
"you definitely do!"
she wandered closer, peering suspiciously at the phone in his hand before looking back up at him with a smile so goddamn knowing it bordered on alarming and slightly psychotic.
"is it because you're asking Miss Y/N to come?"
ledger froze. children. children should not have instincts this good.
"...maybe."
her grin softened into something surprisingly gentle. "i think she'll say yes."
Summary: Naruβs a preschooler now and of course, that comes with a whole new world of parenting challenges, but neither of you expected just how many issues would arise throughout her first year of school.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Parents AU, Established Relationship, Angst, Smut, Fluff, Crack
Author's Note: OMG Iβm so excited to finally be posting this!! I still canβt believe itβs been a year since cradle robbers, the fic that really started it all! you guys know how much I love these two so it was such a pleasure returning to their world. this is fairly different from the other cradle robbers fics and a lot more angsty than I anticipated, but itβs the good kind that just makes them come back together stronger than ever π₯Ή I truly hope you all enjoy this and as always, let me know what you think! happy first anniversary to all my beautiful readers :)
-> Cradle Robbers Masterpost, Cradle Robbers x Two Masterpost
Abundant tears are shed the morning of Naruβs first day of preschool. But ironically, only a quarter of them are from her own eyes. Another quarter fall from yours, while the remaining half all stem from her loving father.Β
In fact, once Naruβs little legs carry her through the schoolβs front doors, Jungkook literally coils himself around a tree and refuses to take a single step towards the car. Leaving you to desperately tug at his waist in hopes of forcing him to let go.Β
βJeon Jungkook!β You scold him between harsh yanks that require your entire body weight. βYou are a grown man! Release the tree!β
βNo!β Jungkook sulks. βI have to be here when she gets out!β
You groan so loud youβre positive he can feel it against his back.Β
βThat isnβt for another four hours, honey.β
βI donβt care.βΒ
Another pull, at which point he plants his feet so he wonβt budge an inch. Jungkookβs usually the pinnacle of a good husband, but right now he feels like a fourth child.Β
βYouβre being ridiculous,β you remark.Β
Itβs clear any further effort on your part will be useless, so you step away while crossing your arms over your chest. When Jungkook realizes youβre relenting, he glances back at you over his shoulder.Β
βYou know what I think is ridiculous? A four year old going to school. Sheβs practically a baby!βΒ
You chuckle in disbelief.
βFunny how that baby is acting more mature than her father.βΒ
Jungkook pouts, but your comment seems to do the trick because he lets go a second later before turning to face you.Β
βI justβ¦ what if she needs us?β He poses. βWhat if the other kids are mean to her or she gets scared and wants to come home early?βΒ
A part of you wants to be mad, but Jungkookβs love for your daughter is so damn sweet you canβt help but smile.Β
βThen itβs a good thing we live right up the street and can come back to get her ASAP.β His lips curve down even more as you close the gap between you to cup his face. βI know itβs hard, baby, but we should be proud and excited for her rather than moping about her growing up.βΒ
He shakes his head as best he can with it trapped by your hands.Β
βI donβt have it in me.β
Itβs your turn to pout while deciding how to best approach this; both so you can actually get him to leave and make him feel better.Β
βWhat if we go on a little shopping spree and surprise her with some first day of school gifts?βΒ
Although your husband hates spending money unnecessarily, he adores buying stuff for you and the kids. Plus, thereβs no reason to rush home since your one-year-old twins are currently with their grandparents.Β
As expected, Jungkookβs face lights up at the idea and his arms suddenly wrap around your waist so he can pull you in for a smooch. You giggle into the kiss until he breaks it to steal your hand and lead you towards the car.Β
You hit multiple different places, including a toy store, book store, and clothing store. Jungkook also shoves you into a jewelry store as an apology for his erratic behavior earlier. Which you and him both know is just an excuse to spoil you.Β
Since youβre equal opportunists, you purchase some items for the twins, but not nearly as much because it isnβt their special occasion.Β
Naru deserves to be ravished after being so brave this morning. She was pretty nervous leading up to today, but she only cried for about a minute after hugging you both goodbye before the teacher guided her into the classroom.Β
Itβs your sincere hope she enjoys herself at school. Not only because itβs unavoidable and she has to go whether she likes it or not, but also because she doesnβt have too many friends her age.Β
Taehyung and Minaβs son, Leo, is just over a year and a half old, so heβs still too young for playdates with her, as are her own brothers. There are a couple neighborhood kids in the right age range, but you donβt see them around very often.Β
When school lets out, you and Jungkook are the first parents outside for pick up, and your husband spends every second practically vibrating with excitement about seeing his little girl. Meanwhile, you anxiously gnaw on your thumbnail in fear sheβll look miserable when she finally emerges.Β
As the doors swing open and a hoard of toddlers come scurrying out, you two gasp and bend down so Naru can run straight into your arms.Β
βMommy! Daddy!βΒ
She weaves through the tiny crowd before barreling into you by throwing one arm around each of your necks. You both cradle her impossibly close while she nuzzles her head between your faces.Β
βOh, we missed you so much, pretty girl,β you tell her.Β
βI missed you, too, Mommy,β she chirps.Β
All three of you separate and you feel instant relief over how happy her expression is. She looks positively radiant, with flush cheeks, a toothy grin, and those big eyes you fell in love with while she was still in your womb.Β
βWas it okay, princess? Nobody was mean? The teacher was nice? You understood everything?β Jungkook asks.Β
βMmhm!β She enthusiastically nods, causing you and him to chuckle. βI made a bunch of friends and my teacher was super nice! She even explained stuff again whenever I had a question.βΒ
While you beam over the good news, a slight frown distorts Jungkookβs features. Thatβs when you realize he was secretly hoping sheβd hate it and beg to never go back. Not because he wants her to dislike school, but to protect his own ego. No father wants to hear that their child enjoys being away from home; from them.Β
βAre you sure? You know, your mom can always homeschool yo β ow!βΒ
Normally, you would refrain from affectionately abusing him in front of your kids, but this calls for drastic measures. Hence Jungkook having to massage his bicep.Β
βNo, I loved it, Daddy,β Naru responds after giggling over his predicament. βI canβt wait to go back tomorrow!βΒ
Your poor husband nearly falls backwards in defeat. If it were up to him, sheβd skip going to school altogether and tag along at work with him. In fact, heβd probably prefer all four of you staying by his side twenty four hours a day.Β
Naru opens her many gifts in the car before all three of you drive to your parentsβ house to pick up the twins.
Sheβs rightfully ecstatic about her new clothes, books, and toys, which she immediately shows off to both her grandmothers once you arrive.Β
The three of them are in the living room as Naru performs a mini fashion show and raves about her first day of school. In the meantime, you and Jungkook greet your twins after missing them like crazy all day.
Jungkook has Ken high above his head while he makes ridiculous baby noises and funny faces so your son will giggle. On the contrary, Kaiβs resting on your shoulder where his arms are tightly wrapped around your neck.Β
βI missed you, sweet boy,β you tell him with a kiss to his head.
βMissie,β he responds in the most adorable voice imaginable.Β
Both him and Ken can only parrot short words at this point, but youβre still able to interpret their thoughts after knowing them for over a year.
βThatβs right.β You delicately pry him off so he can rest on your hip instead as you comb through his soft, black hair. βThatβs what we say when weβve been away from someone we love for a while.βΒ
His massive obsidian eyes peer up at you with such adoration you almost believe he understands. Although your theoryβs instantly disproven when he ignores you in lieu of slapping his hand on the apple of your cheek.
βMama.β
You giggle and brush your noses together.
βThatβs right, too.βΒ
Behind you, the sound of Jungkook and Ken goofing around together echoes throughout the kitchen. You turn to face them and find your husband playfully nibbling on one of Kenβs chubby cheeks.Β
βMama!β The little boy cheers and begins reaching for you.Β
Jungkook passes him to you while you do the same with Kai. You were both initially terrified of having two infants to care for at once, but now you're a well-oiled machine. Itβs effortless to swap children or even carry them on one hip each.Β
βDada,β Kai coos as soon as heβs safe in Jungkookβs arms. βDada, Dada, Dada.β
Your husband blushes and smiles so brightly both rows of bunny teeth appear. The twins may have a soft spot for you, but all three of your boys absolutely adore each other. Youβre even eager for Kai and Ken to get older so you can watch them interact more.Β
βMe? Iβm Dada?β The baby boy in Jungkookβs arms starts rapidly nodding. βUh huh. And Dada loves you so, so much!β
Kai squeals when Jungkook pulls him close for an affectionate nuzzle that sends their hair flying in all different directions. Kenβs clearly tuckered out in comparison, since his head falls to your shoulder with his tiny hand resting on your collarbone.Β
βYou wanna go home, little man?β You ask while tickling his tummy.Β
He giggles and buries his face in your neck, which you accept as an affirmative reply.Β
All three kids are fast asleep by the time you pull into your driveway, so you carry the twins upstairs while Jungkook scoops Naru up to bring her to her room next door.Β
After everyoneβs tucked in for the night, you two meet in your own bedroom which now resides in what was once the basement. Youβre both obviously exhausted, considering you unceremoniously flop onto the mattress together.Β
On instinct, Jungkookβs arm loops around your waist to pull you closer and you follow his lead by curling into his chest. His lips meet your temple where he places a few lazy smooches and you canβt help but contentedly hum at the sensation.Β
βWe did it,β you quietly declare. βAnd no one even died.β
Jungkook scoffs.
βMy heart did.β
His response makes you snicker as you lean back so you can look into his eyes.
βItβll heal, my love. Everythingβs new right now, but watching her grow up, make friends, and learn about the world will be so exciting.βΒ
βI know, but every time I look at her I still see that baby girl you handed me after she was born,β he laments.
The memory produces a warm grin and watery eyes, both belonging to you. No matter what, her birthday will always be the best day of your life. Nothing could ever compare to holding Naru for the first time with Jungkook by your side.Β
βSheβll always be our baby girl, Koo. Her age doesnβt change that.β
He sighs and cradles your cheek, letting his thumb gently brush back and forth across your skin.Β
βBut I canβt protect her out there. Here, at home with us, at least I know sheβs happy and safe.β His eyes look to be holding all his emotions, and you canβt help but frown. βIβve heard so many horror stories, Bams. If something were to happen to herβ¦β He shakes his head. βI donβt just mean physically, but to her heart.βΒ
βThings will happen. Thatβs just part of life. But even though we canβt prevent them, weβll be here to help her through anything and everything.β
Youβre pretty good at talking Jungkook down from ledges and he soon concedes his position with a gracious kiss. But unfortunately for you and your assurances, his fears are quickly proven right.Β
One issue every child faces when they start school is getting sick far more often. Being around all the new people, places, and things just breeds bacteria and germs no matter how often they wash their hands. The problem is, you and Jungkook arenβt as good at producing healthy babies as you once thought.Β
It turns out Naru has a weak immune system. Your poor daughter spends the first three to four months of preschool fighting off a variety of coughs, stuffy noses, and mild fevers. Thankfully, itβs treatable with daily vitamins and medicines to keep her white blood cell count in range. But you guys donβt figure out she has a medical issue beyond her recurring common cold until it puts her in the hospital.Β
Every weekday, Jungkook leaves for work around 7 am after kissing you and the kids goodbye. You usually rise about an hour later to wake said kids, get them and yourself ready, and feed everyone breakfast, all to ensure Naru gets to school on time. Since they canβt be at home alone, the twins always accompany you for drop off and pick up. Which Naru loves because it means spending more time with her little brothers.Β
This morning begins like any other, with the ghost of Jungkookβs lips on your forehead and his familiar, honey voice whispering that he loves you. Your alarm goes off not long after and you quickly get dressed before heading to the twinβs room. Once theyβre secure in their high chairs at the kitchen table, you head back upstairs for Naru.Β
Sheβs been sick the last couple days, but itβs nothing out of the ordinary. When you and Jungkook tucked her into bed last night, her mild fever had just broken and she was only coughing once every hour or so.Β
Every time one of the kids isnβt feeling well, you leave a baby monitor in their room because your bedroom is two floors away. Nothing of note happened during the night, so youβre expecting her to be healthy enough for school.Β
Upon cracking her door open, the first thing you notice is the sound of heavy breathing. It doesnβt worry you too much considering she has to sleep with her mouth open due to all the nasal congestion. You then flip on the light and sit on the edge of her bed to wake her up.Β
Except as soon as you rest your hand on her forearm, you gasp at how scalding hot her skin feels. Up close, you see sheβs covered in a thin sheen of sweat thatβs matted down her hair and even darkened her pajama top.
βNaru?β You pull the covers away while using the back of your hand to gauge her temperature, but itβs hardly necessary when sheβs burning up so badly. With the sheets gone, you can tell sheβs shivering and suddenly all you feel is sheer, unadulterated panic. βNaru, sweetie, wake up.βΒ
Gently shaking her shoulders, you wait with your lip between your teeth for her eyes to open, but even when you push a little harder, she doesnβt budge.Β
βNaru, can you hear me?β Sheβs obviously breathing, and when you peel her eyelids back, her pupils respond to the influx of light, but it doesnβt relieve any of your terror. βBaby, itβs Mommy. You gotta wake up, okay?βΒ
When she still doesnβt reply, you swear your lungs collapse and your chest cavity concaves around your heart.Β
βNaru.β Your hands try once again to wake her by force. βCβmon, baby.β At this point youβre practically hyperventilating and you feel the pressure of fresh tears in your eyes. βNaru!β
After your final attempt fails, you fish your phone from your pocket to call an ambulance. Youβre a total wreck as you weep to the paramedic about her condition before they assure you theyβll be there soon. You call your mom next to ask if she can stay with the twins and your waterworks continue relentlessly while you explain the situation all over again.Β
Notably, you donβt call Jungkook. You know once he hears the fear in your voice and finds out something's wrong with your precious little girl, heβll lose it. So, you decide to inform him after you reach the hospital and know more about her condition. Youβre already a goddamn basket case and it wonβt do Naru any good if youβre both in shambles.Β
You remain at her side while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, holding one of her clammy hands and brushing back the sweaty locks of black hair stuck to her forehead. Youβre still hysterically sobbing, but do your best to whisper encouraging phrases about how sheβll be alright and that her momβs right beside her.
Itβs so hard without Jungkook beside you. Not only are you a team, but heβs your anchor. Whenever heβs near, you have the strength to face what you arenβt able to on your own.
The paramedics thankfully appear before you completely lose your mind and allow you to sit in the back so you can keep holding Naruβs hand.Β
They start by checking her vitals as well as giving her an oxygen mask and what they call an βice jacketβ to bring her temperature down. Besides her extremely high fever, her other vitals are fine, which gives you just enough peace of mind.Β
By the time you arrive at the hospital, sheβs actually beginning to groan as her eyelids flutter a little. Everyone says theyβre good signs, but you wonβt be able to breathe freely until youβre certain sheβs okay.Β
Once inside the emergency room, someone places a chair for you at her bedside while the team of doctors and nurses give her a new ice jacket, turn on some cooling fans, and retake all her vitals. Within five minutes, her voice lifts an indescribable weight off your shoulders.Β
βMommy,β she weakly rasps.Β
Her big eyes blink open as her head turns in your direction. That one word alone sounds like a symphony from heaven and you immediately grab her hand again while leaning over to caress her cheek.
βHi, my princess.β
βWhere am I?β
βYouβre in the hospital, but youβre gonna be okay,β you explain.
She looks scared despite your assurance, so you squeeze her hand and try distracting her by combing your fingers through her hair.Β
The doctors give her medicine to bring the fever down, but her temperatureβs already astronomically lower than it was when they first checked in the ambulance. Not long after she swallows the cherry flavored syrup, she falls asleep again and you take it as your cue to finally call Jungkook.Β
Except only moments after stepping out into the hall, you hear rushing footsteps and someone frantically shouting your name. Not your actual name, though.
βBambi!βΒ
Your eyes widen, but you quickly piece together that one of your parents mustβve called him. The only issue is, Naruβs condition was far worse when your mom saw her being rushed into the ambulance.Β
Jungkook barrels into you with enough force to knock you both to the ground, but he thankfully has the foresight to slow his momentum before that happens.Β
βWhere is she?βΒ
His hands land your shoulders where you can feel them shaking, prompting you to cradle his flushed, panicked face in your own hands.
βSheβs okay,β you profess.
βYour mom said ββΒ
βI know, I know.β He looks so terrified his whole stature appears smaller. The drive from his office is at least thirty minutes and youβre positive he was in agony the entire time. βBut sheβs okay, Koo. I promise.β
βWhat happened?βΒ
βShe had a really high fever, but they brought it down and now sheβs resting.β
βYour mom told me she wouldnβt wake up,β he states across shallow breaths; no doubt from all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. βAnd Iβ¦ I was so scared, Bams.β Tears instantly well up in his already red eyes. βPlease donβt ever scare me like that again.βΒ
βI know. Iβm so sorry, baby.β
βYou canβtβ¦ you canβt scare me like that.β When his voice breaks and a few droplets roll down his cheek, your heart shatters. βPlease donβt everβ¦ you canβt do that to me. Please, baby, donβt ever do that to me again.βΒ
He collapses into you when the silent tears turn into harsh cries, his arms wrapping around your torso so tight it almost hurts. Your own limbs circle his back so one hand can rest in his hair while the other softly traces his spine. His bodyβs trembling in your grasp, but you just pull him closer.
This is precisely what you were hoping to avoid by only relaying the situation to him once you knew more. Youβre sure your mother meant well and thought she was being helpful, but it put Jungkook through an onslaught of unnecessary fear.Β
You continue apologizing and reassuring him of Naruβs condition, even though you know he doesnβt actually fault you for anything. He may be asking you to spare him from something like this in the future, but in reality heβs begging the universe itself.Β
Once Jungkook eventually calms down, he lifts his head and trails his hands up your back until heβs cupping your jaw.
βCan I see her?β
βOf course.βΒ
He surprises you with a kiss rather than bolting right into the room. It isnβt just a peck, either, but a soft, reverent press of his lips to your own. Your foreheads meet once your mouths part, where you remain for a moment before he sighs and forces his head up.
Without another word, you take his hand to lead him into the room where Naruβs still sound asleep.Β
She looks perfectly peaceful as you two approach her bed, but Jungkook still drops straight into the chair and presses one of her hands to his lips.
βIβm so sorry I wasnβt there, Naru,β he whispers.
You pull up another seat for yourself before placing your own hand on his lower back.Β
βYou couldnβt have known, honey.β
Jungkook shakes his head and turns towards you while resting his cheek on his and Naruβs intertwined fingers.Β
βI shouldβve.β His eyes flicker towards her again. βI was in a rush this morning, so I didnβt kiss the kids goodbye like I normally do. Instead I just peeked my head in to say I loved them. If I had, I wouldβve known something was wrong, and we couldβve gotten her here faster or maybe even avoided it entirely.βΒ
βDonβt do that to yourself,β you instruct. βSheβs here now and sheβs going to be just fine.βΒ
When you tuck some hair behind his ear, a gentle smile appears as he twists his head to kiss your fingertips.Β
βIβm sorry to you, too. I havenβt even asked about you yet.βΒ
βMe?β
βYou must have been so terrified dealing with this all by yourself.β
The statement makes you recall how helpless and frightened you felt, but you didnβt focus on your emotions for a single second; Naruβs all that mattered.
βI, uh, I donβt even know how to describe it. On one hand, I remember being petrified, but my mom-brain was also running a million miles a minute.βΒ
βThatβs because youβre a goddamn superhero.βΒ
You giggle at the familiar compliment before leaning on his shoulder.Β
βAs long as youβre my sidekick.β
Jungkook chuckles and gives the top of your head a smooch.Β
βAlways,β he promises. You both shift your attention to Naru to watch her chest gracefully rise and fall at a steady rhythm. Her little handβs still locked with Jungkookβs as his thumb grazes her knuckles. βI didnβt think Iβd ever feel more afraid than when I saw you pass out during the twinβs birth.βΒ
Itβs fairly difficult to forget the traumatic experience of bringing your boys into the world, and it was even worse for Jungkook.Β
βThen this morning happened?βΒ
He nods.Β
βThe whole drive over I just kept thinking about what I would do ifβ¦ if the worst happened. Since the moment you told me you were pregnant, Iβve been Naruβs dad, and it was the first time in my life a title actually meant something to me.β His lip begins to quiver. βI donβt even know who I am, or who Iβd be, if not her dad.β
Your mouth drops open in shock until a frown takes over.Β
βKoo,β you call to him while lifting his chin with your fingertips. βYou will always be Naruβs dad, even after both you and her have left this earth. Which wonβt be for a long, long time, by the way.βΒ
A small smile accompanies Jungkook sniffling to prevent any more tears from falling. Just then, you hear a soft moan and Naruβs eyes slowly open, causing you both to gasp and eagerly stand so youβre closer to her.
She still appears a little disoriented, but once her sights set on Jungkook above her, she starts beaming.
βDaddy!β
His expression automatically mirrors her own as he bends down to kiss her forehead and brush some hair back.
βHi, baby,β he coos. βHow are you feeling?β
Her brow creases when she glances down, almost like she isnβt entirely sure.
βI had a weird dream,β she answers. βThere were flashing lights, a loud ringing, and lots of strange voices. At first I was hot, but then I got really cold.βΒ
You decide to move your chair to the opposite side so she can see you both, and unsurprisingly, her eyes light up once youβre in view. She stretches her hand out, which you gladly accept before pressing a couple kisses to her skin.Β
βThat mustβve been scary,β Jungkook responds to her.
Naru nods.
βI could hear Mommyβs voice, too, but it sounded far away, like she was underwater or something.β
βWell, itβs all over now and the doctors will take great care of you until we go home,β you explain. βDoes that sound good, pretty girl?β
Her smile grows and she nods again while sitting up in bed. You click the call button so they can reexamine her now that sheβs awake, but it isnβt a doctor who knocks on the door a few minutes later.Β
Instead, you hear the frantic padding of a very pregnant, very anxious Jihyo.Β
βIs she okay?β Your best friend pants while traveling as quickly as her swollen feet will allow.Β
Rather than responding to her yourself, Naru leans back until sheβs no longer hidden behind Jungkook.Β
βHi, auntie Ji!βΒ
Jihyo stops in her tracks before her entire body visibly relaxes and she sighs in relief.
βOh, thank God.β When she begins walking again, Jungkook stands to join you so she can sit. βI almost had a heart attack when I saw her name on the ambulance intake list.βΒ
Naru excitedly stretches her arms wide for her beloved aunt, who gives her one of the tightest hugs sheβs ever received. She also peppers Naruβs head with kisses until your daughter squeals in protest.Β
After plopping down in the empty seat, Jihyoβs hands immediately start massaging her baby bump in large circles, bringing a smile to your face because of how adorable she looks with a bun in the oven.Β
βI didnβt check anything in her file before runningβ¦ well, waddling, over here. Is everything okay?β
You pet Naruβs hair as she settles back into the bed and pulls the sheets up to her chest. Itβs obvious sheβs still exhausted from everything her bodyβs been through, so you lull her to sleep before explaining the situation to Jihyo.Β
It was fairly soon after her and Namjoonβs wedding that they announced their pregnancy, and now sheβs already in her third trimester.
βI canβt believe youβre working seven months pregnant,β you tell her.
She shrugs.
βIβd be too bored if I didnβt.βΒ
Jungkookβs eyes instantly look in your direction and you reply with a warning glance, but he still chuckles under his breath.
βFunny. I donβt remember that being a problem at all for Bambi,β he teases.
Your elbow jabs his side, leaving him hunched over and overdramatically groaning despite your lack of force.Β
The three of you continue to chat until Jihyo has to return to work, at which point you and Jungkook meet with the doctors to discuss Naruβs condition. They explain the details of her condition and why she keeps getting sick before prescribing her a handful of medications and vitamins to take every day. But they assure you she should only need vitamins to keep her immune system healthy once sheβs done with the regimen.Β
Sheβs kept overnight just to be safe, so your mom stays at your place with the twins. Thankfully, thereβs a small couch in the room you and Jungkook are able to squeeze onto. Except only an hour into the night, Naru begs one of you to join her in the unfamiliar bed. You volunteer for the position and climb in beside her, but once Jungkook sees you two cozied up together, he pouts from across the room.
βSo you guys get to snuggle all night while Iβm over here by myself?βΒ
Naru giggles and cuddles closer to you.
βItβs girls only, Daddy!βΒ
Jungkookβs lips purse until he looks cartoonishly hurt, causing you and your daughter to laugh at his expense.Β
βWell, you know what? When we get home, the boys and I are going to have a sleepover and neither of you will be invited!βΒ
βPlease do. Iβd love a night off from diaper duty,β you counter.Β
Your very mature husband sticks his tongue out, but youβre not much better when you simply blow raspberries right back.Β
Although you two love messing around, you genuinely hate sleeping without Jungkook. Of course, Naruβs a great substitute, but having her small frame curled up beside you just isnβt the same as feeling his arms around you or his heartbeat against your back.Β
With the knowledge of whatβs been causing Naru to get sick, youβre able to prevent further illnesses. Itβs honestly life changing because youβre finally able to find a rhythm as a family with her consistently going to school.
The only downside is how damn busy you are all the time. Being a stay at home mom with three kids was challenging enough, but itβs nothing compared to leaving the house twice a day to grab Naru. One might believe it canβt possibly be that complex, but dressing, feeding, and strapping two one-year-olds into car seats for both pick up and drop off while still remaining on time is a Herculean labor.Β
Itβs also unexpectedly lonely, because while other parents get to mingle outside the school as they wait for their children, you have to stay in your car with the twins. You donβt mind too much considering you have plenty of friends, but itβs difficult planning play dates for Naru when youβre not familiar with any of the parents.Β
Which is what youβre currently explaining to Jungkook while moving in and out of the en-suite to complete your nightly routine.Β
βSo then I feel terrible telling her no because Iβm not comfortable sending her to someoneβs house I donβt know, and since the other mom feels the same, itβs a wash. We could always do a public play date, I guess, but those are logistical nightmares,β you ramble in the middle of applying moisturizer.Β
βCanβt you just get to know this other mom over the phone or something?β Jungkook suggests from where heβs lounging in bed.
βNo.β After setting down your last product, you return to your bedroom and lean against the doorframe. βI swear, parents are crazy these days. I would be perfectly fine with it, but everyone else is super strict.β
Your husband sighs and puts his phone down on the nightstand so he can give you his full attention. Itβs obvious how distressed you are, which means itβs up to him to fix it.
βCβmere, babygirl.βΒ
His hand stretches towards you and on instinct, you cross the room so he can guide you into bed. His opposite arm naturally loops around your waist as you straddle his thighs and relax in his lap. Feeling Jungkookβs fingers dance across your ribcage and up your back is mundane, but the familiarity doesnβt make it any less comforting.
βI feel like Iβm failing,β you quietly confess.
Your fingertips are drawing nonsensical shapes along his collarbones, one of which is decorated with pretty ink that continues onto his shoulder.Β
βI know even if I tell you that you arenβt, you wonβt believe me.β Canβt argue there. Your husband knows you a little too well on behalf of him spending the first part of his life as your best friend. βSo is there anything else I can do to help? Maybe I can talk to my boss about working remotely in the evenings so you donβt have to lug the twins around. I could even pick Naru up from school myself depending on how busy I am.β
The suggestion makes your brow scrunch.
βNoβ¦ no.β
βWhy not?β
Jungkookβs staring at you with those big, chocolate eyes you can never resist. Itβs impossible not to melt in them, including relenting to his idea despite feeling the need to prove yourself as a mom.Β
βBecause your jobβs outside the home, and mineβs in it. You shouldnβt have to pick up my slack when every other stay at home mom does just fine.β
He scoffs.
βJust because we decided to have you stay here with the kids doesnβt mean Iβm absolved of my responsibilities,β he argues. βWe have twin toddlers, Bams. I donβt give a damn what other moms can or canβt do. I only care about you. And if youβre driving yourself into the ground trying to balance everything, the least I can do is help.βΒ
βI donβt ββΒ
βNuh uh. Look at me.β One of his hands slides up your back to grip your jaw and force your eyes to meet. You were purposely avoiding his gaze both for your resolve and so he wouldnβt see how watery your own are. Once he does, his entire expression softens as he leans in to slowly kiss across your cheeks and nose. βI promised to always take care of you, so please let me.β
Following a deep sigh, you fall forward until your foreheads press together.
βI shouldnβt need to be taken care of, Koo. Iβm supposed to be the caretaker.β
Jungkook shakes his head.
βThatβs not how it works, Bambi.β His thumb glides along your cheekbone, catching the stray tear that escaped from your waterline. βYouβve got me and Iβve got you.β
You canβt help but smile when his words are sweeter than candy. Nevertheless, itβs always been difficult accepting help from anyone, especially after becoming a mom. Thereβs a constant need deep inside to prove yourself, even though you arenβt sure to whom. With Naru in school, itβs easy to compare yourself to the other parents, and you have a suspicion you just donβt measure up.Β
But you canβt deny how much stress itβd relieve to have Jungkook around. Your prideβs still on the line, but you think you know how to trick your brain into accepting his help.
βWell, I would love to see you more often,β you state. βI miss you so much during the day.β
He knows precisely what youβre doing, because of course he does. Prompting a wide grin to appear.
βExactly. How could you ever say no to more time together?βΒ
You giggle and shrug your shoulders.
βAnd why would I?βΒ
βRight!βΒ
The two of you share a bright laugh until Jungkook muffles it by stealing a kiss. His hand on your face roams into your hair as the arm around your waist brings you closer. Your fingers follow his lead, sliding along his shoulders so you can play with the soft hair at his nape.Β
With how busy lifeβs been lately, you canβt remember the last time you kissed and touched one another without rushing. Being parents means most sexual encounters are quickies at best, and ever since Naru started school, even those happen sporadically.Β
Hence why Jungkookβs leisurely rolling his tongue into your mouth while your lips collide between quiet moans.Β
You miss the slow moments; chunks of time reserved solely for you two. This hectic period wonβt last forever, and you both know that, but itβs still hard when youβre going through it.Β
βGod, I missed the way you taste,β Jungkook mumbles before trailing kisses across your jaw. βJust missed you.βΒ
The sensation of his warm, wet lips on your skin makes your head lull as you sigh and your fingers rake through his hair.Β
βKoo,β you whisper with a gentle tug.Β
He merely hums against your throat while continuing to paint you in saliva.Β
βI love you so damn much, baby.βΒ
Itβs his last remark before his face disappears in your cleavage, his tongue darting out to trace the curve of your chest. He eventually switches to sloppy kisses as his hand on your ribs moves to caress your neglected breast over your top.
βI ββ A short giggle interrupts you. βI love you, too.β
If he hears you, he doesnβt make it known; far too busy gorging himself on your tits. The only problem is tomorrowβs an early morning because the twins have their final infant vaccine appointment. Youβd love nothing more than to let Jungkook do whatever he wants with you for hours on end, but it just isnβt possible tonight.
βHoney, we shouldnβt.β Your husband growls his dissent into your chest. βJungkook.β
βNo,β he whines before shoving his face between your tits. It leaves you relentlessly giggling until he glances up with his infamous puppy eyes. βPlease, baby.β
If only you could give in, especially considering you havenβt been able to do anything besides him bending you over a counter or pushing you up against a wall in a long time. Alas, parental duty calls.
βI promise the next time we get a chance, weβll go all night. Okay?βΒ
Jungkook groans while flopping onto the pillows and you hate the sudden loss of his hands on you.
βItβll get easier soon, right?β
βOf course, it will,β you answer as your fingers comb through his hair. βEverythingβs just so new right now, but once we get a hang of things, weβll be back to normal in no time.βΒ
He sighs, but he must believe you somewhat because he flashes you a warm smile that you echo right back.Β
βI canβt wait,β he declares.Β
You obviously feel the same, and convey your agreement via a chaste kiss.
The following Monday, Jungkook talks to his boss about the possibility of working remotely and they agree to discuss it after the current game launch.Β
As much as you hate to admit it, youβd be beyond grateful to have help. Even if Jungkook remains in his home office all day while you go about your normal routine, being able to leave the twins at home with him will lift a huge burden off your shoulders. You also canβt deny wanting to see him more often since youβve both been so busy lately.
A couple weeks later, you and your pair of rambunctious boys are lying on a playmat in the living room as they match toys of different shapes and colors. Theyβre both so smart already, just like Naru was at their age, making it all too easy to cheer them on.Β
βRe!β Ken shouts while holding up a red cube.
βRed,β you softly correct him, emphasizing the last letter.
He simply giggles in response before slamming the cube down over the circle hole and moving onto the next one.Β
Kai, on the other hand, is much gentler in his approach. He rolls the shapes around under his palm to examine them and even gives them a nice bite just to see what information itβll provide him. Once heβs done investigating, he places the shape into the corresponding hole.
βGood job, little man!βΒ
Your son smiles as though itβs the biggest compliment in the world, his chubby cheeks rising like freshly baked dough.Β
Ken begins to crawl away from you after finishing his pairs, so you keep a close eye on him. He uses the couch to stand and guide himself towards the entrance of the room and you realize his actions have a purpose once you hear footsteps coming up the stairs.
The little boy laughs like a maniac, no doubt recognizing his dadβs familiar gait. He does his best to walk without holding onto any furniture, but he only lasts a couple steps before heβs on his knees again.
Thankfully, Jungkook waltzes in at the perfect moment, and Ken doesnβt even register the fall because heβs too excited.Β
βDa! Dada!βΒ
Like always, a massive smile overtakes Jungkookβs face when he bends down to scoop up the toddler.Β
βThere you are,β he cheers. βWhatβs my little buddy been up to, huh?β
Ken joyously squeals while kicking his feet in the air until your husband lowers him onto his hip and gives him plenty of kisses.Β
Clearly feeling left behind, Kai makes a break for the action by crawling at light speed towards his father. Jungkook notices immediately, prompting him to place Ken down so he can lift up Kai instead.Β
βHey, you!β As soon as heβs able, Kai wraps his arms around Jungkookβs neck and burrows his face in his chest. βWere you having fun with Mommy?β
Your little boy nods without ever lifting his head and Jungkook snickers in adoration before pressing his lips to Kaiβs hair.
After momentarily admiring them together, you stand to greet Jungkook as well. Ken reaches for you as you pass by, so you snatch him from the ground and rest him on your own hip.
βWhat are you doing here so early?βΒ
Before replying, Jungkook leans in for a kiss that causes both boys to giggle.Β
βBoss gave me the rest of the day off to celebrate another successful launch. Which also means I get to work from home in the afternoons starting next week. All I have to do is come in an hour earlier,β he explains.Β
Your jaw drops open when you delightfully gasp.Β
βReally?βΒ
βYes, maβam. I know mornings will still be tough, but I hope itβll help, even just a little.β
βIt will,β you assure him. βI canβt thank you enough.β
Jungkook scoffs.
βAre you kidding? More time at home with my wife and kids? Oh, the torture!βΒ
You smack his bicep with your free hand, but he just laughs and swoops in for another smooch.Β
The babies in your arms begin getting fussy, clearly ready to be put down so they can play some more. You gently return Kai to the floor and he instantly takes off on his hands and knees towards the toys. Jungkook follows your lead by setting Kai down, who races after his brother to join the fun.
A moment later, you feel the familiar sensation of your husband's arms around your waist and you naturally melt into his embrace. His head falls to your neck where he places a few kisses while you trace the tattoos staining his right arm.Β
βWhenβs the last time this happened, hm?β Jungkook asks. βJust you, me, and the troublemakers.β
You snicker before resting your head on his shoulder to look at him.Β
βMaybe four months?βΒ
βWe should make the most of it, then.β
βAbsolutely,β you concur with a peck.Β
Suddenly you and Jungkook are standing side by side behind the couch, where youβve laid down multiple playmats and blankets to form a makeshift aisle. Youβre both hunched over with a twin each dangling from your fingertips. The two boys joyously screech and cackle as they hover just above the ground, obviously enjoying being airborne.Β
Bam and Usagi watch with hesitant curiosity from their place on a nearby chair. Your loving Dobermanβs slightly less relaxed than the cat curled up beside him because his protective nature always keeps him on high alert.Β
βOn three?β Jungkook proposes.
βYou better not cheat.β
Your eyes are already locked on the opposite side of the room, your target destination, but you still hear his lighthearted chuckle.
βI would never.β With a click of your tongue, you readjust your feet to be ready to run as Jungkook counts down beside you. βThreeβ¦ twoβ¦ oneβ¦ go!βΒ
The very second he shouts the order, you both place your respective child on the floor before taking off towards the end of the last playmat. Itβs the finish line for todayβs race and the sooner you reach it, the better your chances of victory.Β
Thereβs hardly any time between when you two drop to your knees so you can begin encouraging the boys to head in your direction. From the outside, you probably look like a pair of maniacs as you enthusiastically cheer and holler for them to keep crawling.
βThatβs a good boy! Cβmere, Ken,β you call while motioning at yourself.Β
βYou got it, bubba, come to Daddy.β Jungkook adds motivation by clapping, which seems to grab Kaiβs attention. βYeah, there you go!βΒ
Both twins eagerly follow your commands by crawling across the soft surfaces as fast as they can. Theyβre neck and neck, so the race will definitely be down to the wire.Β
You and Jungkook are already trying your best to guide your sons closer, but once theyβre within armβs reach, you really go all out.
βThatβs it, Kai!βΒ
βGo, go, go!βΒ
βNo mercy!β
βYou can do it, baby!β
Their tiny hands are perfectly aligned with only a few steps to go, causing you both to hold your breath in anticipation.Β
In a surprise twist, Kai slows down just a hair when he glances up at his beloved dad. Once Jungkook realizes whatβs about to happen, his eyes expand in horror and he begins frantically waving his hands.
βNo, no, no,β he pleads in desperation.
Itβs too late. Your son halts only a couple inches before the finish line to mirror Jungkookβs claps with a massive smile on his face. Meanwhile, Ken crawls right into your awaiting arms for a landslide victory. You let out a celebratory squeal as you stand and twirl the toddler high above your head.
βYou did amazing, sweet boy!β You applaud him. βWhoβs Mommyβs little champion?βΒ
Ken coos and stretches his hands towards you. Because despite not realizing he just won you bragging rights for the foreseeable future, he understand his momβs proud of him.Β
After returning Ken to your chest for a loving kiss attack, you notice Jungkook still on his knees with a completely dejected expression. Kaiβs just ahead of him, rolling on his tummy while pulling at the playmat.Β
βDon't look so down, baby.β His gaze shifts to you with the fury of a thousand suns. βAt least you lost because your son loves you so much.β
He tsks.
βThereβs no place for love in competition, Bambi.βΒ
Kai has impeccable timing when he finally crawls to Jungkook, which instantly wipes away his sour face. Itβs impossible for him to resist one of his precious babies gesturing for him. Hence why Kai receives a consolation prize of being aggressively snuggled by his dad.Β
βWhat was that again?βΒ
Jungkook shoots you another melodramatic glare that you respond to by blowing him some kisses. His face automatically burns bright pink, as though you donβt kiss him multiple times a day, but you still feel prideful regardless.Β
The twins are more than ready for their afternoon nap after all the fun, so you and Jungkook head upstairs together. Once theyβre both tucked into their respective cribs, your husband takes your hand to lead back to the first floor.Β
Itβs serene with the boys asleep, especially since youβre not alone like usual.Β
Maybe itβs weird, but you really love holding Jungkookβs hand. Theyβre much bigger than yours, but his fingers still fit perfectly in between your own somehow. His hands are always warm and soft, and he also has a habit of squeezing every few minutes as a reminder that heβs there.Β
You remember as kids, your parents would constantly tell you two to hold hands while crossing the street or among big crowds. Back then, Jungkook would envelope your entire hand in a firm grip so you wouldnβt lose each other.Β
Heβs always been so protective of you and it wasnβt until you got older that you realized all the little things. If you were walking along a sidewalk together, heβd stand on the side closest to the road. In packed spaces, his hand would hover near your lower back. On a night out if you chose to separate, heβd ensure youβre at least still in his line of sight.Β
Itβs just second nature to him, and although youβre not physically intimidating enough to return the favor, you like to think youβve done the same for him emotionally over the years. Maybe you canβt protect him, but youβre able to protect his heart.Β
Your little reverie causes you to miss Jungkook guiding you across the room near the stereo beside your TV. It isnβt until you hear music floating through the air that your eyebrows perk up in a silent question.Β
βDonβt worry, I know Naru gets out of school soon.β
βThenβ¦β
He smirks and commandeers your other hand before walking backwards to a spot with more space.Β
βYou know, sometimes I feel sad we never got to be a couple before having kids,β Jungkook confesses. βThereβs a lot of stuff we didnβt get the opportunity to do, so whenever we do have alone time together, I wanna make the most of it.βΒ
βAnd how do you propose we do that?βΒ
βI donβt know.β An obvious lie given the mischievous smile on his face. βMaybe by dancing around the living room?β
You two often grab your kids for a rhythmic twirl around the house, but itβs been quite a while since you did so by yourselves.Β
βYouβre so cute when youβre being romantic, baby,β you tell him.
Since you arenβt protesting the idea, Jungkook pulls you close and secures your waist with one arm so you can dance together to the slow beat of the music. Your free hand moves to his shoulder as he lifts your intertwined fingers into the proper position.Β
βSo Iβm not cute all the time?β
He raises a challenging eyebrow, causing you to snicker.
βYouβre everything all the time.β Your fingers resting on his shoulder slide into his hair and he immediately smiles at the familiar touch. βCute, cool, charismatic, gorgeous, sexy. You name it.βΒ
βWow, you must really love me,β he remarks.
Similar to your wedding day, Jungkook lets go to spin you under his arm before guiding you back in place. You continue swaying along to the song, although youβre both much more focused on each other than dancing.Β
βIβm so in love with you itβs scary.βΒ
βOh, yeah? Whatβs so scary about it?β
Your fingertips scratch his scalp and elicit a low, content hum while he awaits your response.Β
βBecause itβs overwhelming,β you admit. βAnd because Iβd do anything for you without a second thought.βΒ
Jungkook pensively nods.
βItβs like that for me, too.β As if to show you with actions instead of words, he tugs you closer until your chests brush and uses his arm to anchor you there. βSometimes I think about you and I worry my heart will beat right out of my ribcage.β You giggle as a light blush spreads across your cheeks. βAnd I honestly feel a little crazy.β
βWhat? Why?β
His tongue hits the roof of his mouth.Β
βAll the guys at work talk about their wives like marriage is a chore,β he explains. βSure, they might not openly talk bad about them, but their feelings are clear based on their tone and word choice.β He shakes his head. βThen thereβs me, who genuinely canβt shut up about you.β His candor makes you chuckle again. βIβm serious, Bams. Iβm so fucking obsessed with you I think something might actually be wrong with me.β
You burst into a fit of giggles, but you also know heβs being completely honest.
βKoo, thereβs nothing wrong with you.β
βBut I donβt understand how I can be the only person whoβs still just as in love after all these years, when other peopleβs βhoneymoonβ phases donβt last this long.βΒ
βWell, youβre not the only one,β you correct him.Β
All the tension in Jungkookβs features disappears as a brilliant smile takes itβs place.
βOf course. How could I forget?β
βI donβt know.β You flash him a playful grin. βBut it better not happen again.βΒ
Instead of replying, he releases you for another twirl, but rather than bringing you back into his arms, he dips you across his body after.
βOr what?βΒ
Your eyes are stuck on each other, causing you to almost forget youβre in your living room and not somewhere only the two of you exist.Β
βOr Iβll have to remind you just how obsessed I am with you in return.βΒ
Jungkookβs smile widens.
βPromise?β
In an instant, he effortlessly leads you back to your feet before giving your hand a gentle kiss and bowing as if it was a formal dance. Except the charade doesnβt last long because Jungkook seemingly gets an urge he canβt resist and surges forward for a kiss.Β
His hands cradle your face while yours sneak around his back to pull him closer. Despite this being at least your one billionth kiss, it always feels like the first because Jungkook kisses you with so much ardor and devotion it steals your breath. Even when the lip lock is short and sweet.Β
Which isnβt exactly how youβd describe this one.Β
As your lips mold into one, he gracefully walks you backwards until your spine meets a hard surface. The sound of you bumping into the wall makes you both snicker before your tongues wrap around each other inside your mouth.Β
Unfortunately, your alarm to pick up Naru goes off before youβre able to do anything else. Jungkook groans and presses his forehead against your own while you sigh in defeat.Β
βIβm sorry, my love,β you lament. βWe can pick up where we left off later?β
He shakes his head and stands to his full height, letting his hands drag along your curves until he squeezes your hips and drops them.Β
βIf we get a chance,β he counters. Your face falls, but Jungkook reaches out to caress your cheek. βIβm not upset, baby. I just miss taking my time with you. I canβt even remember the last time I ate you out orβ¦ kissed you for longer than a minute.β
Unlike when it was just Naru, you canβt call up your parents or friends to babysit for the evening or weekend. Looking after three kids, especially two under two, is nothing like watching one. Nowadays you can only ship them off to someoneβs house during important events or emergencies.Β
Not to say your friends and family arenβt still extremely helpful. You genuinely donβt know what youβd do without them, but you arenβt the only couple with kids anymore so you have to handle a lot more on your own.Β
Besides Jihyo and Namjoon recently welcoming their beautiful little girl, Yoongi and Jimin adopted a two year old boy and are doubly busy planning their wedding. Seokjin just proposed to his girlfriend and both Tzuyu and Nayeon have moved in with their partners. Mina hasnβt told anyone besides you, but she found out sheβs pregnant with her and Taeβs second child. Hoseok and Yujin are still going strong and although Chaewon started seeing someone a couple months ago, Eunchaeβs still looking for the right person.Β
Unfortunately, no matter how crazy you and Jungkook still are about each other after all these years, life often moves faster than you want it to. It feels like just yesterday everyone in your friend group was single and now half of you have kids.Β
Itβs like you told Jungkook a few weeks ago, everythingβs new and youβre the first couple out of your friends to send their child to school. But youβre confident this dry spell wonβt last forever and hopefully your return to normalcy happens sooner rather than later.Β
βI know.β You catch Jungkookβs hand on your cheek to lace your fingers together. βMaybe we can find some time this weekend?βΒ
Even though heβs obviously skeptical, he smiles and nods.Β
Itβs the first time youβre able to pick up Naru without the twins in tow, allowing you to finally meet some of the parents of the kids she always talks about in her class.Β
Your routine becomes a lot easier after that. Mornings are still a mad dash, but having Jungkook home in the afternoon relieves even more stress than originally anticipated. Not only does it mean you can leave without hauling the twins along, but heβs even able to start dinner and take care of some chores depending on his workload.Β
Now youβre finally acquainted with all the other parents and youβve gotten fairly close with a few of them. Naru being friends with their children also helps. You donβt know what youβd do if she got close with kids whose parents you didnβt like.Β
The person you get along with the most is Seojun, the father of the little girl Naru calls her βBFF.β Heβs chill like you and has a similar sense of humor, so you poke fun at the more uptight parents together. For the past month youβve stood side by side to wait for your daughters to exit, along with some other easygoing moms and dads.Β
Todayβs a special occasion because Jungkook and the twins are accompanying you to the school. Youβre all heading to your parentsβ house for dinner and you need to leave right away to avoid being late.Β
Jungkook stays in the car with the boys while you wait for Naru outside the classroom doors like normal. After giving him a quick kiss and crossing the street from the parking lot, you join your usual group on the sidewalk.Β
βAfternoon,β Seojun greets you.Β
βHowdy.β
βIt looks like youβve got an entourage today,β one of the moms comments.
Your eyes flit back to the car where you see Jungkook turned around playing with the twins.Β
βYeah, weβve got a fun night with the grandparents ahead of us,β you explain.
βDo they get along? Your in-laws and your folks?β Seojun asks.
The question almost makes you laugh.
βOh, yeah. Our moms were college roommates and our dads were already friends when they met them. Not to mention, theyβre neighbors.β
Everyone chuckles at the cute backstory, but Seojun clicks his tongue once the laughter dies down.
βYouβre lucky. Iβve never even met my in-laws because the relationshipβs so bad.βΒ
You frown.
βIβm sorry to hear that.β
βDonβt be,β he replies with a wave of his hand. βWe donβt need anyone like them in our lives, anyway.β
Itβs certainly a great mindset to have, even if you still canβt help but feel bad.Β
The conversation shifts to more small talk as you all wait for your kids. You and Seojun exchange your regular jokes and chitchat until Naru finally emerges from the double doors holding hands with none other than Seojunβs daughter, Jia.
βHey, little bug,β you call to her.Β
Her already large smile widens to reveal the small space where her first tooth fell out not too long ago. The older she gets, the more she looks like Jungkook did at her age, down to the adorable dimple in her cheek. It makes denying her anything nearly impossible, just as it is with your husband.Β
βHi, Mommy!β Naru replies.
βDada!β Jia cheers.Β
They drop each otherβs hand in order to run at you two and you both bend down at the same time to haul your girls into your arms.
βDid you have a good day at school today, little lady?β Seojun questions his daughter.
βMmhm. We learned all about colors!βΒ
βAnd about why everyoneβs eyes see different ones,β Naru adds.Β
Jia vehemently nods in agreement.
βWow,β you comment. βYou know what might be fun later?β Your daughterβs eyes go wide while awaiting your explanation. βYou can practice by pointing out all the colors in Daddyβs tattoos.βΒ
Naru gasps before rapidly clapping her hands.
βLetβs do it, letβs do it!βΒ
βYour daddy has tattoos?β Jia asks in wonder.Β
βYup. A whole bunch of βem right here.βΒ
She raises her right arm and slides her other hand up towards her shoulder to show Jia.
βMine does, too, but his are all over.βΒ
You and Seojun snicker at their conversation before informing the girls itβs time to go and wishing one another goodbye. He mentions heβll text you about setting up a playdate soon and you holler an affirmative response over your shoulder as you cross the street with Naru.Β
By the time you reach the car, Jungkookβs leaning on the passenger side door to properly greet you both. Naru, who you put down once youβre in the parking lot, bolts straight into his awaiting arms.
βThereβs my princess,β Jungkook remarks while lifting her onto his hip. Sheβs getting bigger everyday and you know sooner or later neither of you will be able to pick her up, so youβre trying to savor the time you have left. βHow are you doing?β
βGood. Mommy said I can use your tattoos to practice learning about colors,β she tells him.
βOf course, you can. But only if you finish eating all your dinner tonight. You remember weβre going to grandma and grandpaβs, right?β She nods. βGood girl.β
Jungkook kisses her head before strapping her into the open car seat while you hop in the driverβs side. He joins you a second later, but unlike usual, he doesnβt take your hand or lean over to kiss your cheek.Β
You donβt pay it too much attention since you know itβs been a long week and you still have the entire evening ahead of you. The only issue is, his weird behavior doesnβt stop there. He doesnβt necessarily avoid your touch, but he isnβt welcoming it, either.Β
Before, during, and after dinner you notice multiple moments when he does something totally opposite from normal. When you ask him to grab a spoon so you can help taste test for your mom, he doesnβt kiss the top of your head as he so often does. Then at the table, his hand never lands on your thigh despite him always wanting to touch you.
By the time youβre done with the dishes, youβre spiraling too much to ignore it any longer and ask him to join you in your childhood bedroom while the kids play with your parents.Β
After shutting the door behind you, you wait with your arms crossed as Jungkook peruses the room.
βI canβt remember the last time I was in here,β he notes.
βWhatβs going on with you?β
He stops mapping the walls to face you, but his expressionβs unreadable.
βNothing.β
βKoo,β you flatly counter.
βIβm serious, Bambi.βΒ
You step closer and the way he ever so slightly recoils reveals everything you need to know.
βIβm sorry, since when do we lie to each other?βΒ
Jungkook shakes his head.
βThatβs not what Iβm doing,β he defends.
βThen what are you doing?βΒ
His jaw ticks and he clears his throat as his eyes glance everywhere but at you. But after a lingering breath, he finally returns his gaze to your face.Β
βWho was that guy you were talking to earlier?βΒ
A single eyebrow flies up your forehead before you scoff.
βWait, have you been giving me the cold shoulder because youβre jealous?βΒ
βNo!β
You know Jungkook well enough to see right through him, and even if you didnβt, the instant denial makes his feelings obvious.Β
βHeβs Jiaβs dad. You know, the one Naru really likes,β you answer. βAnd the parent I get along with the most. We talk everyday before pick up.βΒ
βI can tell. You guys seemed pretty friendly with each other,β Jungkook declares while crossing his arms and turning his body away from you.Β
βAre you being serious right now?β When he doesnβt respond, you take matters into your own hands by stomping over until youβre face to face again. βYou do realize this was the whole point of you working from home, right? So I could get to know the other parents.βΒ
βYeah, well, I didnβt expect you to get close with some random man.β
βI donβt care, Bams!β For the first time since you came up here, Jungkookβs emotions are evident in his features. The hurt, longing, and even deep green envy. βI realized today you have a whole other world Iβm not a part of. A different friend group, new inside jokesβ¦ and Iβm just an outsider.βΒ
All your defenses drop when you hear his explanation. It never occurred to you Jungkook might feel left out as the working parent and now your heart aches.Β
βBaby, youβre not an outsider, you just havenβt had a chance to meet everyone yet.β
He shakes his head again.
βYou donβt get it.β
βThen explain it to me.β
Youβre staring too intensely to shy away, even though thatβs clearly his desire. Thankfully, his arms soon unravel before he pushes his hair back with both hands.Β
βI just miss you so fucking much, baby,β he confesses.Β
His answer causes your eyebrows to pinch together.
βMiss me? I know our sex lifeβs been a little dry, but Iβm right here, Koo.β
βNo, not like that.β You gesture for him to elaborate, but the tension in his face and rigidness of his posture tells you he doesnβt fully know how. βYou may be here in front of me, but you feel so far away.β He sighs heavily and combs through his hair again. βEvery night you tell me about your day, but your stories are full of names I donβt recognize and moments I canβt relate to. Even if I grabbed Naru from school instead, itβs not about knowing those people, itβs about knowing you.β
βYou know me better than anyone,β you argue.
βYeah, I do.β His hand grazes your arm, but he doesnβt actually grab you yet. βWhich is why it broke my fucking heart to see you laughing with someone else. To have to sit in the car while you banter with a guy whose name Iβve never heard before.βΒ
Itβs still too difficult to piece together his feelings. You hear him, but you arenβt sure how to interpret what heβs saying.Β
βI wasnβt hiding anything from you, if thatβs what youβre implying.βΒ
Another head shake.
βIβm not accusing you of anything, Bams. I was jealous. I am jealous. Just not in the way you think.β His fingers finally coil around your arm and you release a deep sigh of relief you didnβt even know was being held hostage. βI know you as the mom who spends hours mixing different paints together to make the perfect shade of pink, who pauses and replays movie scenes a hundred times because they make her daughter laugh, and who wakes up early on weekends just to cook her kidsβ favorite breakfast foods.β
βRightβ¦β
He chuckles before continuing, unable to hide his endearment even in serious moments.Β
βBut that guy knows you as the mom who cracks jokes about all the stupid shit other parents do, who drinks a fresh cup of coffee in the afternoon so she has enough energy for the evening, and who signs up for PTO bake sales without a lick of baking experience.β
Ohhh. Now you get it.Β
Jungkook isnβt jealous because he thinks youβll cheat, which is good because thatβs absolutely ludicrous. Heβs jealous someone knows a side of you heβs yet to witness.Β
School and home are two entirely different realms and other than a couple exceptions, Jungkookβs never crossed the divide between them. Itβs like youβre playing a video game together and you unlocked a new map, but heβs still a couple levels behind and isnβt able to explore it with you.Β
βThatβs true,β you state. βThe thing is, everyone sees a different side of me. I donβt act the same way with Jihyo and the girls as I do with our guy friends. My mom, dad, and even our kids all experience different versions. Everyone but you.β Your hands encompass his free one so you can pull him closer. βYouβre the only person who knows every side, angle, and edge of who I am. No one else gets to see my puzzle pieces put together. You have all of me, Jungkook, and you always have.βΒ
His eyes turn into miniature oasis, prettier than any night sky youβve ever witnessed. You watch his mouth open and close a few times like a fish out of water, leading you to save him a reply by pressing your lips to his own.Β
He hums at the initial spark of affection; something that sounds like a mixture of pleasant surprise and immense relief. The hand on your arm glides upwards until heβs holding the side of your face as you wind yourself around his neck and force your chests together.Β
Youβre both needy after months of never having enough time to worship each other like you want, but even so, neither of you turn the kiss into something more. Itβs gentle and soft, albeit contrary to Jungkookβs fingertips on your skin. His mouth may be moving in leisurely harmony with yours, but his grip on both your head and waist feels desperate.Β
Once you have to break for air, his arm circles your back to keep you close as his lips move to your cheek and then your temple.
βThank you,β he whispers. βI think I really need to hear that.β
A big smile causes your eyes to crinkle in the corners.
βSo youβll stop ignoring me now?β
Jungkook sighs before a matching grin forms on his lips.
βYes. I donβtβ¦ I donβt know what I was thinking. I just felt so hurt and likeβ¦ like I was losing you.β
βKoo, thatβll never happen,β you assure him.
βI know, Bambi. I donβt mean it in a literal sense.β He adjusts his hand to cradle your jaw so his thumb can run back and forth across your cheekbone. βIβm so selfish when it comes to you, and I always have been. It doesnβt help that Naru starting school makes time feel like itβs moving at the speed of light. I just canβt shake the feeling of losing control no matter how hard I try.β
You chuckle upon realizing where his brainβs at.Β
βYou donβt like having to share us with other people.βΒ
Itβs clear youβre right on the money when his lips curl into a lopsided smirk.Β
βNot at all.βΒ
His immediate affirmation makes you both giggle, which helps break the tension still lingering in the room.Β
βI would love to say something to make you feel better, but youβre going to have to share me, Naru, and the boys with plenty of people over the years. I mean, youβll eventually have to give Naru away at her wedding.β
βWoah, hey! Why are you bringing that up? Iβve still got time to prepare myself for that.βΒ
Heβs so full of love you can nearly feel the excess seeping into your own skin. Youβve known Jungkook your whole life, so you understand his possessiveness isnβt from a place of control or ownership, but how huge his heart is.Β
βWould it help if I told you Naru still thinks boys are absolutely disgusting?βΒ
Unsurprisingly, the light in his eyes flickers alive.
βShe does?β You nod. βWell, what about you, huh? Whatβs your opinion on boys?β
Itβs obvious heβs alluding to Seojun. Because even though he knows deep down thereβs no reason to be jealous, hearing you reaffirm your loyalty always eases his mind.Β
βCan I show you something?βΒ
Jungkookβs face scrunches in confusion, but he still nods and peers over your shoulder when you pull your phone from your pocket.Β
A minute later, you lift the device up so he can clearly see the photo on the screen.
βWho are they?β He asks while wagging his finger at the three people in the picture.Β
You quietly chuckle under your breath.
Just as Jia described earlier, the other man in the photo has visible tattoos on both arms, one of which is resting on Seojunβs shoulders.Β
βThat is my new friend Seojun, his daughter Jia, and his husband Hyungsik.βΒ
Poor Jungkookβs left sputtering as he searches for an adequate response, causing you to snicker.Β
βWell, he could be bi,β he poses.Β
All you have to do is send him a blank, vexed expression for him to smile and try pacifying you with loving pecks. As always, feeling his lips pepper your skin in warmth makes you squeal and melt into his embrace.Β
You two rarely have conversations like this and yet you navigate them like pros every time. Itβs undoubtedly because of the many years of friendship between you, but youβre grateful nonetheless. You donβt even know what a relationship without all the trust, compassion, and understanding you and Jungkook have for each other would look like.
Thankfully, youβll never have to find out.Β
After heβs done painting you in affection, you lead him back downstairs by the hand, where your kids and all four parents are waiting for you.Β
A Disney movie is already set up on the TV, so you and Jungkook slip between Naru and the twins, who are each sitting on your mothersβ laps. Once everyoneβs comfortably cuddling on the couch, your dad presses play while Jungkookβs dad turns off the overhead lights.Β
You honestly donβt pay much attention to the film, too enamored by how warm and cozy the room feels with your entire family together. Naruβs head is resting on your lap as your fingers comb through her hair and your opposite hand is being cradled by Kai. Similarly, Jungkookβs playing with Kenβs short, black locks while giving Naru an absentminded foot rub. The scene is bookended by both sets of parents, who are curled up like teens in love.Β
At one point you turn towards Jungkook, triggering him to follow suit. As soon as you catch one anotherβs gaze, his head flops onto the backrest with sparkling eyes full of admiration. His reverence makes you blush, although he canβt see it in the dim light.Β
βIβm sorry,β he mouths to you.Β
An apology isnβt necessary, and youβre both aware of that, but you still appreciate the gesture.Β
βMe, too,β you mime in response.Β
His hand stretches across the back of the couch to reach you, momentarily leaving Naru without her massage. He doesnβt do anything special, merely brushes his knuckles along your cheek, and yet your heartbeat speeds up.Β
Unfortunately, there isnβt much you can do about Jungkookβs feelings regarding this new chapter of your lives, but you still do your best to show him nothing's changed besides a busy schedule. The easy answer would be alternating who picks up Naru from school, but even though heβs home in the afternoons, he still has to work.Β
Things return to their regular rhythm after that night. You become even more familiar with your fellow parents and set up multiple playdates for Naru, she makes plenty of friends who she always raves about in the evenings, and the twins learn and grow bigger everyday.Β
The only issue still at large is your sex life. You two do manage to find time amongst the chaos, but itβs either short and sweet or hard and fast.Β
You totally understand what Jungkook meant by missing you when youβre right here. Itβs been over a month since the last time any foreplay was involved and even longer than that since you actually got naked to have sex.Β
Alas, youβre both on the same page about wanting to get your old routine back as soon as you have the chance.Β
Speaking of, itβs easy to fall into a comfortable candance when lifeβs going well. Hence why checking the calendar lately has totally slipped your mind. Not the one of events for Naruβs school or the twinsβ doctor visits, but the very familiar, monthly period tracker on your phone.Β
As if historyβs repeating itself, you donβt realize until youβre restocking the bathroom one evening. Your fingers glide down the cabinet to double check all the supplies and upon landing on a tampon box, you instantly freeze.Β
When was the last time you got your period?Β
You whip out your phone to search the tracking app you use, but when you look at last month, itβs blank.Β
Contrary to your insides coiling around each other, you start laughing to yourself. The volumeβs low at first, but the longer your mind reels with all the possibilities, you cackle louder and louder until you sound like an insane person.Β
βNo, no, no, no,β you chant under your breath. βThis isnβt fucking happening. Not again.βΒ
One child overpowering your birth control was already bad luck, so thereβs no chance in hell another one managed to sneak past your impeccably placed IUD.Β
God, you knew you shouldβve urged Jungkook to get snipped right after the twins were born instead of waiting.Β
No, itβs important to stay calm. A missed period doesnβt automatically mean youβre pregnant. All you need to do is run to the corner store for a few tests to find out.Β
Your legs feel unstable as you exit the bathroom and of course, Jungkook notices your strange demeanor when you pass him to reach the front door.Β
βBams?βΒ
The kids are all asleep already, so heβs just lounging with Bam and Usagi on the couch.Β
βIβm heading out for a few items, you need anything?βΒ
Before youβre even able to slip your shoes on, Jungkookβs fingers stop you by grabbing ahold of your wrist.
βWoah there.β He turns you around and his suspicious expression tells you any attempts to sneak out will be useless. βWhat do you need from the store thatβs so urgent?βΒ
βJust some toiletries. Itβs no big deal,β you answer as nonchalantly as possible.Β
Obviously your best friend of over thirty years doesnβt buy your little act. His head tilts and his tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek as he surveys your face for a proper explanation.Β
βBullshit,β he accuses.Β
βWhy would I lie, baby?βΒ
βI donβt know. Why would you?βΒ
You donβt want to freak him out before you know anything, but youβre also certain he wonβt let go until you reveal your true intentions.Β
βPlease, Koo, Iβll explain as soon as Iβm home.β
He shakes his head.
βIβm not letting you out of the house looking like youβre on the run from a serial killer.βΒ
Well, it was worth a shot. Without another choice, you inhale and stare into his eyes.
βMy periodβs late,β you announce.
A singular beat passes before Jungkookβs eyes expand and his mouth drops open. After another weighted moment, he releases your arm to run his fingers through his hair while a disbelieving chuckle escapes his parted lips.Β
βYou think youβre pregnant?βΒ
You shrug.Β
βIβm not sure. Thatβs why I have to go grab a test.βΒ
βThatβsβ¦ impossible. I was there when they stuck that birth control device in you, okay? Itβs way up there.β
βI know. I was there, too,β you retort. βBut if you remember, your magical dick just loves putting babies in me.βΒ
Jungkook frowns and steps closer to rest his hands on your biceps.Β
βYouβre not pregnant, Bambi,β he assures you.Β
βI better not be or I will fucking kill you, Jeon Jungkook.βΒ
Even when youβre threatening his life, he still smiles at you like youβre all he sees.
βThen who will help you take care of our four kids?βΒ
βAhh, God.βΒ
You feign a gagging sound, but the idea genuinely sets your nerves ablaze. Thereβs no way you can handle having another child right now, or ever. Youβre both already struggling to keep up with everything as is.Β
βListen.β He gently grasps your chin to bring your attention back. βWhatever happens, whatever the result is, weβll be okay. I promise, baby.β
His finger swipes away a stray tear before you even register one falling.
Rather than wasting more time on βwhat-if,β you nod assuredly and give him a quick kiss before slipping out the door.Β
You spend the entire drive to and from the store praying this is all just some big, bodily misunderstanding. According to your calendar, youβre only about a week and half late, so it could easily be for another reason. Such as stress, something youβre certainly not lacking.
Upon your return, three heads rise to attention at the exact same time. Bam, whoβs always on guard duty, Jungkook, looking as nervous as ever, and Usagi, who immediately relaxes once she realizes itβs you.Β
Jungkook offers to join you, but you order him to stay put until he hears the timer go off. Itβs for his own safety, really, because if you are pregnant, you may strangle him.Β
Just like five years ago, you pee on a multitude of pregnancy tests and then wait with bated breath for three minutes to pass. You try not to agonize over the outcome, but you honestly might be more nervous this time than back then.Β
When your phone alarm finally rings, you inhale deeply before checking all the tests lined up along your counter. The results carry the weight of an entire elephant and your head drops forward as you slowly exhale. In the midst of your own mental processing, Jungkook throws the door open so he can find out as well.
βBambi?β He nervously calls for you.
Following a loud sigh, you grab the three little fortune tellers and hold them up for him to see.
βNegative,β you declare with a relieved smile.Β
βOh, thank fuck.β The next thing you know, Jungkookβs hoisting you in the air by your waist. βIβve never been so happy to see a negative test in my life!βΒ
Now that you know nothingβs cooking in your oven, you giggle as he swishes you back and forth in little semi-circles.Β
βI was so fucking terrified.βΒ
Jungkook sighs and buries his face in your neck.
βMe, too.β Although your feet meet the floor again, you two stay wrapped up in one another. βI almost lost you last time. I canβt imagine ever watching you go through that again.βΒ
Even more than a year later, you know how much that day still haunts him. It doesnβt matter that everything turned out fine; Jungkookβs so protective just the memory of you passing out sends chills down his spine.
When you eventually untangle from each otherβs embrace, a sense of overwhelming relief is evident on both your faces. In a perfect world, youβd be more than willing to pop out kids until you canβt anymore, but unfortunately, three is all youβre able to handle.Β
βKoo.β
βYes, my love?β
Heβs always sporting the most doting, sweet expressions, which is why threats work wonders on him.
βIf you donβt call your doctor on Monday, Iβll castrate you myself.βΒ
Of course, he merely snickers before pecking your cheek.
βConsider it done.βΒ
Besides you having to take care of Jungkook and force him to keep his hands to himself for a full six weeks to ensure the procedure actually works, that heart attack-inducing incident comes and goes like anything else.Β
Before you even realize, the end of the school yearβs fast approaching and you couldnβt be happier. Summertime means going back to sleeping in and spending all day with your precious children. Not to mention the boys turn two soon.
Alas, there are still plenty of events to celebrate school coming to a close, like the year-end recital the kids put on for all the parents. Itβs a talent show, for lack of a better term, and your daughterβs part of the group whoβs chosen to do a ballet dance.Β
Naruβs actually pretty good, if what youβve seen of her practicing is anything to go by. Sheβs also extremely excited about showing off her new skill to you, Jungkook, and her grandparents. And like the supportive mom you are, you obviously volunteered to help with the event.Β
Along with the actual performance, thereβs a rehearsal the night before parents are encouraged to attend.Β
Unfortunately, Jungkook hasnβt been able to work from home for the last few weeks because of a new game launching soon, so the twins are at Chaewonβs house while you hand out snacks and water at the rehearsal. He mentioned heβll try to make it tonight, but sometimes duty calls.Β
Youβre currently passing out bags of trail mix and mini water bottles to students and parents alike. Itβs boring, but you love seeing the kids in all their different costumes.Β
During a lull in customers at your station, you check your phone for an update from Chaewon, who just sent an adorable picture of her and the boys at a park.Β
In the middle of typing your reply, you hear a quiet gasp from the women at the other table, but youβre too focused to glance up. You quickly realize the sound is because theyβre gawking at someone who just walked in, based on the conversation you overhear.Β
βWhose dad is that?β Someone whispers.
βI donβt know, Iβve never seen him before.βΒ
βMore importantly, is he a single dad?βΒ
You chuckle at their gossip, but once you hear the man in questionβs voice, your heart drops.
βHi, is this where the preschool rehearsal is?β
Thatβs when you realize the person theyβre talking about is your person. Which is the only downside to having a husband so handsome heβs probably a k-pop idol in another life.Β
βIt is. Can we help you find a certain someone?βΒ
Upon finally observing the interaction, you find the three women looking positively enamored with Jungkook, and the one who just spoke is literally twirling her hair like a schoolgirl. Youβre also fairly certain one of them is married.Β
To make matters worse, he looks fucking delectable. He came straight from work so heβs in slacks and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Youβll have to scold him afterwards because he knows those gorgeous, veiny forearms are for your eyes only.Β
Although, thatβs a minimal betrayal compared to how heβs graciously smiling back at the women behind the table. You know heβs just being polite, but you canβt help how your feral lady-brain reacts whenever people encroach on whatβs yours.Β
Which, unfortunately, happens often with a husband as good looking as Jungkook.Β
βHoney,β you call before he has a chance to respond to the question.
His head turns in your direction as his smile grows exponentially, satisfying the green demon in your chest.Β
βThere you are, beautiful!βΒ
With a pep in your step, you scurry out from behind the table to join him. His arm automatically opens wide for you and once youβre tucked perfectly by his side, he wraps the limb around your waist.Β
βI wasnβt expecting you to come.βΒ
βI know. Thought Iβd surprise my girls,β he responds with a kiss on your cheek.Β
βY/N,β one of the women grabs your attention. βThis is your husband?β
It might be a little petty for your age, but youβre absolutely riddled with pride when you examine the three surprised faces ahead of you.Β
βYeah! Ladies, meet Naruβs dad, Jungkook.βΒ
He waves with his free hand and all three of them mirror the gesture like theyβre in a trance.Β
βWait, your husband as in your childhood best friend turned husband?β Another one asks.Β
You nod.Β
βOh,β the final woman chirps. βIf only we were all lucky enough to have a built-in perfect match, huh?βΒ
βI know, right?β Jungkook chimes in while admiring you beside him. βI am without a doubt the luckiest man alive.βΒ
Itβs obvious she was referring to you being lucky and you adore seeing all their eyes widen when Jungkook flips the script.Β
But at the same time, his ardent gaze is causing you to blush like a maniac, so you retaliate by lightly elbowing his side. He giggles at your faux annoyance before tightening his hold, which you certainly donβt mind. Youβll never complain about showing him and your affection for each other off, especially to women like them.Β
βWell, we should probably go find Naru before itβs her turn,β you announce. βWould one of you mind taking my place over there?βΒ
One of them volunteers as you take Jungkookβs hand to lead him into the auditorium. Even while strolling away, you sense their eyes following you. Itβs clear Jungkook can tell as well, based on how he snickers a moment later.Β
βYou werenβt kidding about women and rolled up sleeves. Whatβs with that?βΒ
You chuckle and glance back at him over your shoulder.
βIt isnβt the sleeves, Koo. Youβre fucking sex on legs.βΒ
Itβs his turn to glow bright as a tomato and he even hides his face in your shoulder while you head further into the room together. It isnβt often you get to make him blush in return, so you feel especially satisfied.Β
The rehearsal goes off without a hitch and it was helpful because now youβre fully aware what Naru needs for tomorrow. So just before tucking her into bed, you place her costume and other essentials on her dresser to ensure nothingβs forgotten.Β
Jungkookβs already sitting on the edge of her bed to kiss her goodnight and you join him once everythingβs laid out.Β
βYou excited about the recital, bug?β You ask her.Β
βYes! I canβt wait for you guys to see it,β she exclaims. βI just wish all my aunts and uncles could come, too.β
The school only gave each family six tickets, not including other children, so none of your friends are able to attend.Β
βI know, but weβll video your performance so they can watch it later.βΒ
She giggles and enthusiastically kicks her feet, making you both smile from ear to ear.
βAlright, princess, you need lots of rest if youβre going to do a good job tomorrow, right?β Jungkook suggests.
Naru nods while shimmying under the blankets.
βWait, are you sure youβll be there, Daddy? Youβve been away at work a lot.β
He frowns at the question.
βOf course, I will. I wouldnβt miss it for the world.β He leans in to kiss her forehead. βAnd I promise to sit as close to the stage as possible.β
Your little girl beams and reaches up to hug him before doing the same to you and plopping back into bed. You and Jungkook leave after telling her you love her, which she parrots as you shut off the lights. The twins were tucked in hours ago, so you two sneak away to your bedroom downstairs once youβre sure theyβre all set for the evening.Β
The next dayβs a whirlwind, but thankfully your parents are there to help with the twins while you triple check that Naru has everything she needs.Β
Jungkook will have to meet you there because of work, so the eight of you head to the school together. After dropping Naru off with her teacher, you find seats in the auditorium and text him the row number. The problem is, his workβs at least forty five minutes away and when you check his location shortly before the recitalβs supposed to start, it shows him still at the office.Β
His mom shoots you a worrying glance as the lights go down, but Naruβs group doesnβt perform until the end, so youβre hopeful heβll make it in time.Β
You spend the entire show anxiously gnawing on your lip and surveying the entrances to see if he snuck in the back since you canβt check your phone. Jungkook doesnβt break promises, and he certainly doesnβt miss important moments like this. Even though he was at work, youβre worried something else is keeping him from being here.Β
Once itβs time for Naruβs performance, you attempt to focus on her, but when her face falls after realizing Jungkook isnβt sitting with the rest of you, it absolutely shatters your heart.Β
The lights come on at the end of the show and all five of you scope the auditorium just in case, but youβre certain he isnβt sitting anywhere else. Which is doubly verified when you look at your phone again to see his location hasnβt moved.Β
Both your momβs send you hopeful expressions that maybe youβre all wrong, but after a single head shake, their eyes drop to the floor. Truthfully, your own disappointment doesnβt matter in the slightest. Itβs the look on your daughterβs face you know is coming that terrifies you.Β
Everyone does their best to distract Naru when she first runs out from backstage to give you all hugs and accept the flower bouquets each of you brought. But it isnβt long before her eyes flicker between your faces and begin to water as she looks to you for an explanation.Β
You bend down to her height and pet her hair thatβs slicked back in a ballerina bun to match her leotard and tutu. Even before you open your mouth, itβs clear she knows whatβs coming, and it makes your own eyes misty as well.
βIβm sorry, baby, Daddy couldnβt get out of work in time,β you tell her.Β
βButβ¦ but he promised,β she quietly counters.
βI know.βΒ
She initially tries to be strong by nodding her head, but then she chokes on a harsh cry and collapses into your arms. You scoop her up and cradle her head so she can let out all her emotions into your shoulder. It kills you to hear her helpless sobs and hiccups, and itβs even more difficult to refrain from crying yourself.Β
Your dad drives you back so you can continue consoling Naru, who cries ceaselessly until sheβs able to bear hug Bam once you arrive at home.Β
After wishing your dad goodbye, you put the twins to bed while Naru cuddles with her beloved pets. As much as you want to let her hug Bam and Usagi all night long, you know sleep will be beneficial for her broken heart.Β
Even though you manage to get her upstairs, she refuses to change out of her costume aside from the tutu so she can perform for Jungkook when comes home. You donβt fight her on it, but your chest aches at the thought of her still wanting him to see her dance even after letting her down.Β
Once sheβs sound asleep, you flop onto the couch and hold Usagi close for some cuddles of your own. Youβve been so busy looking after Naru you havenβt really processed your own emotions. Although, there isnβt much to decode or decipher. Youβre fucking angry. Which isnβt an emotion youβve ever felt towards Jungkook.Β
Sure, your pregnancy hormones may have caused you to act a little crazy and sometimes you pretend to be mad or annoyed with him, but youβve never actually been. Youβve never had a reason to be before tonight. There hasnβt been a single moment in the last thirty-something years when heβs disappointed or betrayed you.Β
You hear the door unlock downstairs and inhale a huge gulp of air while returning Usagi to the ground. Itβs clear from his footsteps alone heβs dreading whateverβs waiting for him, but that doesnβt make you any less furious.Β
He unceremoniously enters the living room and you actually see a large flower arrangement before you see him. His eyes land on you sitting on the couch and he looks relieved at first. Until he notices the fire in your irises.Β
βBamb ββ
βI am not the person you need to be apologizing to,β you state as you stand.Β
βBaby, listen to me.β
βNo!β You drag your fingers through your hair while your mind decides where to begin. βYou looked our daughter in the eye and promised her you would be there.βΒ
βI know, okay?β He responds across an exasperated sigh. βBut we had to finish the game tonight in order to meet the deadline. My boss wouldnβt let us leave.βΒ
βArenβt you a VP? They couldnβt make an exception for you?βΒ
βMaybe, but it wouldnβt have looked very good if Iβd asked, Bams.βΒ
You scoff and cross your arms over your chest at the same time Jungkook places the flowers on the coffee table so he can come closer, but you immediately take a matching step back. And youβre far too upset to care about his lips tilting down in response.Β
βWe only get one shot at this, Jungkook. Naru wonβt ever have another βfirst recital.β So forgive me for not caring if it might've made you look bad.βΒ
βDo you think I wanted to miss it? You think it wasnβt the only fucking thing on my mind the whole night?β
βI donβt care if it was because that doesnβt change you not being there when she needed you!β Before you can stop yourself, your eyes begin to water and your lip trembles. βYou shouldβve seen her face when she realized you werenβt in the audience. She cried the entire drive home. We couldnβt even take pictures because she was fucking inconsolable.βΒ
Jungkookβs expression crumbles after hearing your words and soon enough, you both have tears on your waterline.Β
βI neverβ¦β He sniffles as a single droplet rolls down his cheek. βBaby, you know Iβd never let her down if I had another choice. I just couldnβt be in two places at once.βΒ
βYou couldβve chosen to put her first. To put our family first,β you argue.Β
βI put us first every single day! Thatβs why I get up every morning and go to work. To provide for this family.β
βAnd what happens when providing for us starts to take precedence over watching our kids grow up?βΒ
A heavy second passes before Jungkookβs head shakes.Β
βIt was one night.β
Cue another scoff.
βUntil it isnβt.βΒ
βBambi, youβve known me your entire life. You know this isnβt the norm,β he counters.
βExactly!β He looks confused, but the situationβs as clear as day to you. βI know you better than anyone and not once in more than thirty years have you ever let me down. I remember when you almost lost out on a scholarship to your dream college just because I got dumped and needed a shoulder to cry on. Thatβs why Iβm so fucking terrified about what this means, Koo. Because if after three decades of never breaking a single promise, you could do something like this to our daughter, then maybe I donβt know you like I thought anymore.β His mouth drops open in shock while you wipe away the fresh tears on your cheeks. βI mean, after everything thatβs happened this year it just feels like our whole worldβs falling apart. Naru was in the hospital, for Christβs sake. And then everything with her school; me not being able to handle it all and you having to work from home. I understand if you resent me for that. Iβm sure I would if you couldnβt uphold your end of the bargain. Not to mention the stuff with Seojun and our fucking sex life thatβs practically nonexistent. Also those women the other day. I know you could have anyone you want and I just canβt help feeling like maybe this is all because of me. Maybe youβre falling out of love with me or ββ
βNo, no, no. Stop right there,β Jungkook commands as he closes the gap between you and cups your face in his hands. βDonβt you ever suggest something like that. Do you hear me?β Your eyes only water more. βTonight happened because I can be a fucking idiot sometimes. Itβs my fault and mine alone. And my mistake has absolutely nothing to do with you, and more importantly, it has nothing to do with how much I love you. Because I do, Bams. I fall more in love with you every morning when I wake up. And Iβll love you more tomorrow than I do at this very moment. Nothing in the world matters to me more than you and our family. I donβt care what happened this year. I donβt care how hard it was or all the bullshit we had to deal with. I wouldnβt care if we never had sex again. Iβd still love you more than anyoneβs ever loved another person. Do I make myself clear?β Even though his grip on your headβs practically a vice, you manage to nod. βYouβre everything to me. And nothing will ever change that. Nothing.βΒ
You would love to reply to his grandiose proclamation, but youβre crying too hard to speak just yet. Of course, Jungkookβs already working tirelessly to swipe away the cascade of droplets on your face.Β
βIt feels like everythingβs changing and Iβm so scared. Iβve never been mad at you before. I hate it. I donβt wanna feel like this,β you confess.Β
βBut you should be mad at me,β Jungkook declares. βI fucked up. I shouldβve done everything in my power to be there and instead I broke our babyβs heart. And even worse, I left you all alone to pick up the pieces.βΒ
As your waterworks begin to ebb, he drops one of his hands to pull you closer by the small of your back. You donβt stop him, because no matter how angry you might be, heβll always be your safe space.
βThis was only year one, Koo. What if we arenβt a strong enough couple to make it through the other thirteen?β
He inhales while tucking your hair behind your ear and cradling your cheek again, using his thumb to soothe your flush skin.Β
βYouβre right that this is just the beginning, but the school yearβs about to be over and this is only our first fight. You really think we canβt withstand whatever else life might throw at us?βΒ
You sniffle as a hint of a smile pulls at your lips.
βOkay. Thatβsβ¦ fair.βΒ
An actual smile appears on Jungkookβs face before he uses his fingers to tilt your head up.Β
βI am so fucking sorry, baby. I swear, Iβll never let you or our kids down ever again.βΒ
After a deep sigh, you shake your head.
βLike I said, Iβm not the person you need to be saying that to.βΒ
His eyes flicker towards the stairs.
βIs she awake?βΒ
βNo, but she only went to sleep about an hour ago.β
βMay I?βΒ
You nod in approval, leading Jungkook to kiss your forehead before you walk upstairs together. As he quietly enters Naruβs bedroom, you flip the light on and lean against the doorframe.Β
Her eyes begin adjusting to the influx of light before he sits down at her bedside and once she notices him, her entire face shines with joy.Β
βDaddy, youβre home!β She cheers while throwing her arms around his neck.Β
Jungkook returns the affection tenfold, hugging her tight and resting his hand on her head to keep her close.Β
βIβm here, baby.β His lips press to her temple. βIβm so sorry it wasnβt sooner.βΒ
After they pull away from one another, the excitement slowly fades from Naruβs expression.Β Β
βWhat took you so long?βΒ
βI couldnβt leave work in time. But Naru, that isnβt an excuse for missing your recital,β he explains. βI promised you I would be there, so it doesnβt matter why I wasnβt.β He takes her hands and squeezes them, making her smile again. βThe thing is, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, dads included. Theyβre inevitable even if we donβt intend to do anything wrong, so although preventing mistakes is good, what we do afterwards is even more important.β Naru hums in acknowledgment. βApologizing is the first step, but an apology doesnβt mean anything unless itβs followed by action. I broke a promise, so now I have to earn your trust back so you know I mean what I say. And thatβll take time, but Iβm going to do everything I can to make it up to you, bug. I swear, youβll never look out and not see me there supporting you ever again. Okay?βΒ
She nods, but itβs along with a sniffle as she wipes away a stray tear.Β
βI was really, really sad when I couldnβt find you in the audience,β she admits.Β
βI know, princess. Iβm so, so sorry. It wonβt happen again.β He gently dries her cheeks with his sleeve. βBut itβs alright if you donβt believe me yet. Thatβs why I have to prove it to you, and I will.β After her cries subside, Jungkook smiles and playfully tilts his head. βCan you forgive me?βΒ
Naru mirrors his grin.
βOf course, Daddy.βΒ
βYeah?βΒ
With another enthusiastic nod, she hugs him again. It leaves you with a massive smile of your own as you watch them with utmost affection. You knew Naru wouldnβt hold his tardiness against him, but it still warms your heart.Β
Following their hug, your daughter looks incredibly eager and you already know why.Β
βCan I show you my dance now?βΒ
βHuh?βΒ
Thatβs when Jungkook finally notices her outfit and realizes sheβs in a leotard instead of pajamas.
βShe wouldnβt let me do anything but take her tutu off,β you add from behind them.Β
He glances at you over his shoulder where you shake the pink tulle skirt to show it off.Β
βSo, can I?β Naru asks again.Β
Jungkook fondly giggles and gives her a big, wet smooch on the cheek before gesturing towards the door.Β
βGo on, Mommy and I will meet you down there.βΒ
Naru practically leaps out of bed and grabs her tutu from you on the way out so sheβll be ready for her impromptu performance.Β
In the meantime, Jungkook stands to join you near the door. Thereβs still an unnamed, heavy tension between you, but neither of you mention it.Β
βThat was a really good apology,β you compliment him.Β
Per usual, he smirks and proudly clicks his tongue.
βI may not mess up often, but I always know how to fix it.βΒ
βHmm. I suppose itβs easy when youβre the best dad in the world.βΒ
He shakes his head.
βNo, I donβt think Iβve earned that particular title back just yet,β he remarks. βBut then again, I donβt know if Iβll ever measure up compared to you.β
βIβm not ββ
βYes, you are.β Jungkook brushes your cheek with his knuckles, eliciting another smile before you can stop it. βYouβre the perfect mom, the perfect wife, and the perfect woman. Always have been.βΒ
Youβre unable to counter the statement because he grabs your hand to lug you downstairs where Naruβs waiting with the music already queued on the TV. Jungkook plops on the couch for a front row seat, bringing you down beside him as your pets jump up to watch as well.Β
Despite it being a solo performance this time, Naru does an amazing job and itβs just as entertaining. Obviously, Jungkook loves every second, and heβs sporting the widest grin imaginable as his eyes twinkle with adoration.Β
When she finishes with a theatrical curtsy, you both pick individual flowers from the bouquet he brought home to toss in her direction.
βBrava!β You shout.Β
βAmazing! We want an encore!β Jungkook cheers.Β
Naru continues bowing as you throw compliments and roses alike until she eventually b-lines for Jungkook instead. He stands and effortlessly lifts her high above his head, followed by them hysterically giggling together while he spins her around in the air.Β
βDid you like it, Daddy?β She asks once he cradles her to his chest.Β
βAre you kidding? Youβre a star, pretty girl!β The compliment causes Naru to squeal in delight as she rests her head on his shoulder and squeezes his neck. βI canβt wait to see you perform on stage one day. Iβm sure itβll be even better.βΒ
βMe, too, Daddy.βΒ
She looks perfectly cozy in her Jungkookβs arms, as always, but you can also tell how tired she is. He notices just after you, triggering a silent conversation that heβll tuck her in again while you turn down the house.Β
βDonβt forget the pretty flowers Daddy bought you,β you remind her while handing over the arrangement.Β
Her eyes crinkle in the corners as she takes them and holds them close to her chest before Jungkook carries her back upstairs.Β
By the time he joins you in your master bedroom, youβve already completed the majority of your nighttime routine.
βDid it take her a while to fall asleep?β
Jungkook shakes his head while leaning back against the closed door.Β
βNo, I just stayed with her for a bit,β he explains.Β
βGood. There are only a few days left of school so Iβd hate to mess up her sleep schedule now.βΒ
You hear a responsive hum.Β
βAre we okay, babygirl?β
The question gives you pause because your brain, heart, and body are all saying different things.Β
βI want to be,β you eventually answer.Β
It stings to see Jungkookβs crestfallen expression and youβll truly do anything to fix it, except you donβt know how after your conversation earlier. Sure, itβs clear your loveβs still as strong as itβs always been, but that doesnβt automatically clear away the emotional rubble between you.Β
βThen just tell me what to do and Iβll do it.βΒ
You arenβt sure what words to use, so you cross the room to hold his hands instead. He visibly relaxes when your fingers touch and even pulls you closer until youβre chest to chest.
βI donβt know what I need, Koo. Iβm not mad anymore, but I still feel a divide between us.βΒ
βI feel it, too,β he admits. βAnd we could probably talk for hours to solve it, but I might have a better idea.βΒ
If you didnβt know him so well, youβd have to question what he means. Alas, the gleam in his eye and his arm hooking around your waist reveals his intentions without any explanation.Β
βBabyβ¦β
βCβmon, Bams. Weβve never had makeup sex before.βΒ
βBecause weβve never needed to,β you retort.Β
He smirks while tugging your body into his own.Β
βThereβs a first time for everything.βΒ
You affectionately roll your eyes.
βThen letβs also make it the last. Deal?βΒ
βDeal.β
Itβs barely left Jungkookβs mouth when he tightens his hold and hoists you into the air. Youβre already well aware itβs your cue to wrap your limbs around him, even though you canβt recall the last time he carried you to bed like this.Β
Months have passed with nothing but speedy rendezvous, so makeup sex or not, youβre thankful about having time to be together without any responsibilities on the horizon.Β
Your back meets the mattress as Jungkook gently lays you down in the center of the bed so he can crawl over you. He always looks so handsome above you, the overhead light creating a hazy glow around him. His honey skin, striking features, and obsidian hair are a perfect combination you swear only an artist could think of. Yet here he is. Gorgeous, breathtaking, and yours.
His elbows land on either side of your head when he dips down to kiss you and after all the stress this evening, it feels like being doused by cool water in the summertime.Β
As your lips meld together, Jungkook settles between your thighs. You can already feel his bulge pressing against your stomach and it causes all your pent up desire to flicker into a roaring flame. Suddenly all you want is for him to remain buried inside you until the sun comes up.Β
In a strange sense, the urge doesnβt feel all that sexual. You always crave him, but tonight itβs the connection itself that matters most. Maybe thatβs the reason everyone loves makeup sex so much.Β
βIβm so fucking sorry, baby,β he whispers, pulling you from your devoted reverie. βIβm gonna make it up to you, okay? All night long.βΒ
He kisses you again before you can respond, making you whimper around his tongue when it slides inside your mouth.Β
βIf you want me to forgive you,β you interrupt the lip lock. βYou have to make me come a few times.βΒ
Jungkook snickers as his lips move to your neck.
βYouβre lettinβ me off easy.βΒ Β
You echo his laugh while raking your fingers through his hair and down his back. Your sharp nails catch on his shirt, prompting him to lift his head enough to pull the fabric completely off.Β
βWait.β
Before he can return to your throat, you press a hand to his chest so you can admire him properly. Itβs been far too long since youβve seen him shirtless. So, you trail your fingers down his stomach, tracing all the pretty indents and curves.Β
βYouβre gawking,β he teases.Β
βIβm inspecting whatβs mine.βΒ
He giggles and his nose scrunches.
βAnd is it all up to your standards, maβam?βΒ
βHmm. I think I have to do a more thorough examination.βΒ
In one smooth movement, you hook your legs around Jungkookβs waist to flip him over. The abrupt action leaves him relentlessly cackling while you get comfortable in his lap, but his hands still cradle your hips by muscle memory.Β
Once his laughter fades, he watches with lustful eyes as you descend his torso one kiss at a time. Your lips find his collarbones, then his pecs and sternum, before stalling at the first dip of his abs where your tongue darts out.Β
He hums in appreciation while you slowly map him with your mouth. Itβs actually a little unfair how ripped he is, but then again, youβre the one who reaps the benefits of his diligent workout routine.Β
His fingers slink into your hair as you alternate between light smooches and long licks. He softly moans above you, and although heβs clearly enjoying himself, this is more for you than him. If you had enough time, youβd drag your lips across every inch of his body.Β
βFeels sβgood, babygirl,β Jungkook quietly slurs. Thereβs a tug on your scalp that causes you to look up and after your eyes meet, he guides you back to his mouth. βBut I need to taste you.βΒ
Your lips crash into each other, but youβre well aware thatβs not what heβs alluding to. Even still, his tongue chases your own while he peels your shirt off and starts unbuttoning your jeans. Once youβre entirely bare, he guides your body higher, leading you to pull back with raised eyebrows.
βWhat are you doing?βΒ
βWant you up here.β He kisses you again for good measure. βCome ride my face.β
βAre you sure? Iβm not as light as I ββ
βOh, shut up.βΒ
Next thing you know, Jungkookβs shoving you towards his head before yanking you down by your hips. As soon as you feel his mouth on you, you keen and grab a fistfull of his hair. He groans over the pressure while forcing his face deeper into your cunt so he can begin avidly licking your slit.Β
You have no idea how long itβs been since the last time, but itβs always an unequivocal sensation. Especially in this position, where he can use his faceβs every contour to bring you pleasure. Which he does joyfully every time, like right now as he slurps your arousal and bobs his head so his nose catches on your clit.Β
βJesus, how do you always taste so good?β Jungkook asks during a brief reprieve. He glances up from between your legs, causing you to make eye contact because your face is buried in your elbow resting on the headboard. βYouβre like fucking candy, Bams.β
The praise makes you giggle. It doesnβt help that he looks adorable from below with his big, doe eyes blinking up at you.Β
βI think you just love me too much.β
βWell, thereβs that, too.βΒ
His lips wrap around your clit in an instant, leaving you whimpering as your legs shake on either side of his head. He starts by gently sucking on the nerve endings before switching between swirling and flattening his tongue.Β
Youβre certain youβre gushing all over the lower half of his face, but Jungkook never seems to mind. Rather, he enthusiastically moans into you while moving down to circle your hole with the tip of his tongue. As he begins pushing the muscle into your pussy, the intense pleasure leads you to grind against him.Β
Thereβs a slight fear youβll crush or hurt him, but he merely tugs you closer with a muffled growl. His fingertips are digging into your hips and ass to keep you right where he wants you, but he also uses the grip to guide your body back and forth.Β
All your most sensitive parts are being dragged against his face and itβs sending you tumbling towards an orgasm faster than you can comprehend. Jungkook can obviously tell, since he ramps up the efforts of his mouth and tongue to make you fall over the edge.Β
Your climax hits you hard and without warning, at the same moment Jungkook teases your hole and forces his nose into your clit. A loud, desperate whine spills from your lips as you convulse above him, but he doesnβt stop pushing and pulling you so he can continue throughout your entire high.Β
βKoo,β you cry.Β
βIβm not stopping,β he warns you. βYou can handle more, canβt you, baby?βΒ
Your eyes meet again, although yours are filled with tears.Β
Instead of responding when your headβs so high in the clouds, you nod until he buries his face in your cunt once more.Β
Jungkook swallows every last drop of cum before soaking your pussy all over again. The second roundβs much messier. He drags the flat of his tongue up and down your slit before spitting and slurping the filthy mixture of you and him into his mouth.
It feels heavenly despite being such a sinful act and you canβt resist grinding harder with every lick and lap.Β
βThatβs it, babygirl. Use me.βΒ
He only pauses for a second to speak; immediately diving back in so he can wet your clit before suckling on it.Β
You come almost as soon as his lips wrap around your pearl and Jungkook groans and grunts in pleasure when you drown his features in arousal.Β
βBaby, I canβt. Itβs too much,β you whimper while he greedily eats your cum throughout your orgasm.Β
Even though the overstimulationβs setting your nerves on fire, your hips have a mind of their own and continue gyrating above him until he loudly inhales and leaves you alone with a final peck.Β
βHow was that, huh?βΒ
You sigh and flop onto you back beside him to catch your breath.Β
βFucking amazing. Youβre never going that long without eating me out again.βΒ
βI sure hope not!β Jungkook shouts as he rests on one elbow. βItβs been like wading through the Sahara desert, Bambi. I was parched without the taste of your sweet, sweet nectar.β
His dramatics send your eyes rolling before you playfully shove him away from you.Β
βYouβre so ridiculous.β
βBut Iβm serious.β He returns to his previous position and you naturally turn to face him as well. βI wouldβve kept going if you didnβt tap out on me.β
βHey, I need time to work up to our old routine. Okay? Sheβs not used to back to back orgasms anymore,β you explain.Β
Jungkook smirks while pulling you closer by your waist.Β
βWell, she better get reacclimated fast because Iβm about to fuck you until you canβt feel your legs.βΒ
In a single second, he tugs you beneath him and puts his weight on his opposite arm so he can hover above you. Even through his pants you can feel the large bulge rubbing against your core and your body naturally arcs towards his own despite having just come down from a high.Β
βIs that really your plan to make it up to me? By crippling me so I canβt get anything done?βΒ
βMmhm. Because then you canβt stop me from waiting on you hand and foot.β
You canβt stop the laughter bubbling in your chest due to his familiar antics. Itβs been so long since youβve had the chance to just banter in bed together and youβve missed these moments dearly.Β
βWhat a coincidence. Suddenly there are a multitude of chores to do this week.βΒ
He parrots your giggles.
βGood. The least I can do for letting you down is scrub some damn floors,β he professes.Β
That might be the sexiest thing heβs ever said. Itβs no wonder your hands sneak down his back to help him out of his pants. Jungkook cackles upon realizing his wordsβ effect on you. Only a stay at home mom would get turned on by the idea of not having to clean.Β
βYou know what, why donβt you do your worst, then? I think Iβd like a nice, long break from housework.βΒ
Jungkookβs responding smile is brilliant as always, and you mirror it as he goes in for another kiss.Β
βAs you wish, my love.βΒ
The sound of his pants hitting the floor echoes a mere second before he thrusts forward to spear you on his cock. He has to cover your mouth because of how loudly you wail in ecstasy, even though youβre multiple floors away from your children. Call it a force of habit from parenthood.Β
Your next moan is muffled behind Jungkookβs palm when he pulls back, only to return even deeper inside your cunt.Β
βFuck,β you sob into his hand.
βHoly shit, babygirl.βΒ
He begins at a steady, calm pace, but with each stroke he pushes himself farther into your warm walls. His face falls to your neck as his free hand captures one of your own to force it beside your head. Your other armβs draped over his shoulder where your nails repeatedly dig into his muscular back.Β
βKoo.β
Jungkook softly groans against your skin while leaving lazy kisses all along your throat.
βYou feel so fucking good. I missed you so much,β he tells you. βIβm sorry, Bams. For everything this year. Iβmβ¦ so fucking sorry. I love you so damn much.βΒ
His hand drops to the pillows to hold himself up, allowing him to find an even deeper angle. You want to reply to his reverence right away, but a whimperβs all you can manage initially.Β
βI love you.β You lift his head from the crook of your neck, cupping his jaw and staring into his starry, lovetruck eyes. βPlease donβt ever make me mad at you again. I donβt ever want to feel like that, Jungkook.β
βI know.β A reassuring smile lights up his face. βYou wonβt have to, baby. I promise.βΒ
He solidifies his vow with a sharp thrust and poignant kiss. One that leaves you moaning into his mouth as his hips pick up both speed and force.Β
By the time your lipβs part, heβs fucking you too good to continue speaking to each other. All either of you can accomplish is punctuated grunts that seem to whisper the otherβs name.Β
Your fingers crawl into his hair once he returns to painting your neck purple. His soft lips encourage your head to tilt so he has more space to venerate you, which quickly sends your mind into a frenzy. Especially when in tandem with the deliberate rolls of his hips.Β
Jungkookβs bringing himself in and out of your pussy with ease. Of course, he is, your bodyβs practically his second home. Your velvet walls know him almost as well as you do and they always welcome him inside without any resistance.Β
He knows it, too. Not only is he completely in tune with your emotions, but he can feel your cunt clenching and pulsing around him.Β
Hence why he knows youβre going to come again soon. Similarly, you can tell how close he is. His heavy balls are slapping your ass with each thrust and whenever his moans start coming out airy and faint, itβs a tell tale sign.Β
βFill me up, Koo.β
βNo,β he rasps while glancing up again. βNot yet. Not after so long of not being able to fuck you exactly how I want.βΒ
Itβs hard to fully comprehend his next movements, but you recognize the sensation of him pulling out and flipping you over so youβre straddling him once again.Β
You certainly donβt need to be told what to do and Jungkook whines and claws at your hips as you sink onto his cock until heβs entirely sheathed inside you.Β
βReally? Make up sex and youβre putting me on top?βΒ
Cue an eye roll.Β
βOh, please. Like I wonβt be doing all the work.β
After theatrically gawking, you smack his chest.Β
βHey! Thatβs no way to talk to your wif ββ
βOh, just cβmere.βΒ
A gasp slices your word in half when Jungkook wraps his fingers around your throat and pulls you down for an erotic kiss. His tongue conquers your mouth without any mercy at the same moment he flattens his feet on the mattress. The extra leverage presses his dick into your g-spot and once he begins bouncing you on his thighs, you fear heβs buried so far heβll get stuck.
Everything becomes a haphazard mixture of bodily fluids, panting, squelching, and breathless whines from then on. You canβt even continue arguing with Jungkook because he is putting in all the effort. Between him choking you and pounding into your pussy from below, youβre helpless to do anything but enjoy yourself.Β
Sex is always phenomenal in this position and having his large hand on your neck only makes it better. With every plunge inside you, his cock stretches you open and rubs against your tight walls. You two fit together like puzzle pieces and thereβs nothing better than feeling his hot skin and thick veins moving in and out of you.Β
Your faces are still only millimeters apart, but rather than kissing, you're practically just breathing into each otherβs mouths.Β
That changes when you push on Jungkookβs chest to sit upright. It creates an impeccable new angle and you enthusiastically cry his name. In response, he tightens his grasp on your throat and goes into overdrive.Β
The sudden influx of skin slapping against skin is deafening, yet it pales in comparison to you incoherently sobbing.Β
βThatβs it. Take this big cock.βΒ
βBaby,β you pant. βI need your cum. Please, I feel so empty without it.β
βEmpty?β Jungkook squawks. βDo you even realize how many inches are inside you right now?βΒ
As if to prove his point, he wraps his other arm around your waist so he can hold you in place and drive his dick even deeper. The uptick in force causes you to shriek as salty tears roll down your cheeks and neck until theyβre stopped by his hand.Β
βFucking hell, Koo.βΒ
βThatβs what I thought. Iβll fuck my cum into you when Iβm good and ready.βΒ
He squeezes the sides of your throat while continuing at the same monstrous pace. In the meantime, you clutch his pecs for support and let your head fall back.
Whether or not heβs going to finish soon, youβre already on the precipice of your third orgasm. Everything feels way too amazing to hold back any longer, but you still want to come together. Which means you have to bring him to the edge along with you.Β
βJungkook.β You purposely make your voice sound airy and seductive while catching his eye again. βI donβt know what I wouldβve done if we hadnβt made up.β He still seems entirely focused on fucking you, but you notice his eyebrows twitch just a hair. βI needed this so badly, baby. Itβs all Iβve wanted for months. Just you and your perfect cock inside me.βΒ
βOh, fuck, Bams.β His eyes roll back as his rhythm momentarily falters. βDonβt stop. Your voice drives me crazy.βΒ
βI was so angry with you, but as soon as I felt you stretching my pussy open, none of it mattered.βΒ
βShit.β
βCβmon, handsome, give me what I need to forgive you.β For good measure, you scrape your nails down his chest and lean over to whisper in his ear. βPut your cum right where it belongs.βΒ
A loud, throaty groan rumbles through Jungkookβs chest before his hips stutter and you feel the familiar warmth of his seed coating your walls. His release sets off your own and you both wail and shake as your respective climaxes wash over you.Β
It takes a full thirty seconds for you two to completely return to earth, at which point you slump on top of Jungkook. He releases your throat so both his hands can roam your back, but you can only graciously hum in your weakened state.Β
βYou alright, babygirl?βΒ
βMmhm.β
βWas the makeup sex worth it?β
You shake your head.
βWould much rather have sex without a fight first,β you answer.Β
He chuckles while kissing your hairline.
βI have to agree,β he replies.Β
You sigh as he delicately rolls you on your back and once you look comfortable enough, he leaves to find a rag. Per usual, youβre nearly half asleep as he wipes your thighs and pussy with a warm towel. But after he joins you under the covers and pulls you into his arms, you perk up again.Β
βCan I ask you something?β
Jungkookβs eyebrows rise.
βIβm sorry, do you even have to ask?β
Following a light laugh, you sit up so you arenβt lying flat on his chest.Β
βSo, I know when you realized you were in love with me. But I wanna know when you started falling in love. Is there a moment or something that looking back you see was where it all began?βΒ
Your inquiry clearly surprises him, but a smile begins to form as he debates on an answer.
βHonestly? No. Kinda how you canβt pinpoint exactly when you realized your feelings for me, I have no idea about the beginning of mine.β His grin turns nostalgic. βBut if I have to guess, I think I was slowly falling in love with you throughout my entire life and you getting pregnant just accelerated the process.βΒ
βOh, yeah?β
The idea of Jungkookβs feelings being a calm waterfall that turned into fierce, whitewater rapids as soon as you got pregnant makes your heart soar.Β
βYes. No matter what, you were always gonna be my girl, Bambi.βΒ
A childish giggle leaves your lips as you bury your face in his neck.Β
βWhat about you, huh?β Jungkookβs fingers slide along your cheek to lift your head up. βIf you asked, you mustβve considered your own answer.β
Youβre already blushing like crazy and have to bite your bottom lip to suppress a shy smirk.Β
βYou remember the night we conceived Naru?β
βOf course. Itβs what I think about whenever I jack off.βΒ
That earns him a melodramatic glare.Β
βWell, there was this moment after we reached my room when you were sitting on my bed and Iβd just taken my pants off. You grabbed my hand to pull me between your legs, then leaned in and kissed my stomach while I ran my fingers through your hair. I obviously didnβt know at the time, but after thinking it over for a while, Iβm sure thatβs when I started falling for you.βΒ
Jungkook sends you a show stopping smile before capturing your lips in a sultry, but romantic kiss. Your mouths move as one in order to convey any other thoughts words simply canβt. It ends all too soon, but you keep your foreheads together to pacify yourselves.Β
βI love you more than life itself. You know that, donβt you?β He asks.
βI know.β
βThen justβ¦ donβt ever forget again, okay? Above all else, the one thing I can never have questioned is my love for you and our kids.βΒ
You sigh while moving away so you can actually look into his eyes. The same eyes he shares with the three beautiful children heβs talking about. The ones youβve found solace in all throughout your life and always will.Β
βI promise, Koo,β you assure him. βI know exactly how you feel because I love you more.βΒ
A single click of his tongue seals your fate; that you wonβt be getting much sleep this evening.
βIs this really the game you wanna play, Bams?β
Between Jungkook playfully growling when he attacks you and your screech of fake terror, you arenβt sure which noise is louder.Β
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β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
a/n: im so sorry for these late and unscheduled and unorganised posts, im not feeling the best these days but i promise that i will get back onto updating every other day for you guys!! i really am sorry, but i love you all and remember every interaction is appreciated!! <33
there hadn't been a moment. no lightning strike. no dramatic realisation. you'd simply become part of his routine in the most natural, quietest way imaginable, until one day he realised the school day somehow felt a little brother if he'd managed to make you laugh before heading home.
"daddy."
ledger blinked, dragged abruptly back into the present by the unmistakeable sound of diem appearing in the doorway carrying three mismatched jumpers over one arm.
"hm?"
she looked at him with complete and utter seriousness. "if we're not dancing today..."
"we're not."
"...then we need an adventure."
he couldn't help but smile at her idea. "an adventure?"
"a proper one!"
"okay, what qualifies as a 'proper adventure'?"
she frowned thoughtfully, dropping the pile of jumpers onto the sofa before climbing up beside them. "somewhere with snacks?"
"right."
"ooh! and books!"
"okay..."
"and~ maybe duckies!"
ledger folded his arms. "i'm noticing these adventures be becomin' oddly specific, bug."
she shrugged one shoulder with exaggerated innocence. "i've been thinking."
"well...that worries me."
"it shouldn't!"
"it absolutely should, d."
she giggled, the sound filling the room so completely that for a moment it pushed everything else aside. there were days - more often than he cared to admit - when hearing her laugh still caught him unexpectedly. not because it was rare.
thankfully, it wasn't. but because there had been a time, after kenna, when he wondered if either of them would ever find their way back to sounds like that again.
grief has a way of making laughter feel almost disloyal at first, as though smiling somehow diminished the love you still carried for person you'd lost.
he knew better now. or at least, he tried to. "you know what," he said, ruffling her already impossible curls, "i think i know somewhere that has books."
"and snacks?"
"...probably."
"and ducks?"
"i make no promises."
diem gasped dramatically. "we'll risk it for the biscuit."
she disappeared from the room with all the urgency of someone preparing for an expedition, calling over her shoulder that she needed 'special socks' for adventures. ledger watched her go, shaking his head fondly before letting the quiet settle around him once more.
his gaze drifted back to his phone. the screen remained dark. he walked past it. made it halfway to the hallway, stopped, turned around and picked it up.
this was ridiculous. he was thirty-something years old. he had survived parenthood, grief, sleepless nights, broken boilers, teaching diem long division. surely sending one text message shouldn't feel harder than all of those things combined.
his thumb hovered over your conversation.
he typed.
we're heading into town if you--
deleted it. too abrupt.
he tried again.
diem wondered if--
deleted. absolutely not. that sounded suspiciously like he was hiding behind his daughter. which, if he was being entirely honest with himself, he probably was.
he sighed quietly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck before locking the phone and setting it down once more. maybe this was a bad idea. maybe there was an invisible line that had existed for good reason, and asking you to spend an afternoon together outside of school would blur it in ways neither of you needed.
β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
ledger had paused just long enough to betray himself, whilst diem...she was grinning spread from ear to ear.
"i knew it~"
ledger let out a slow breath through his nose, somewhere between exasperation and reluctant amusement. "you a menace."
"hehe, i know." she looked entirely too pleased with herself. "and," she continued, scooping a dramatic spoonful of cereal into her mouth before speaking around it despite every lesson on table manners he'd ever attempted to teach her (they're in his bed), "Miss Y/N's plans got cancelled too."
he blinked. "...how do you know that...?"
"you jus' said."
"no..." he frowned. "i didn't..."
diem pointed triumphantly at the phone still resting in his hand. "you smiled twice, daddy."
she crawled towards him closer, proudly carrying her cereal into the living room as though she'd solved the greatest mystery of the century, his coffee growing cold, your conversation still open on his screen, and one increasingly dangerous thought settling quietly into the back of his mind.
you were both unexpectedly free. and for the first time since kenna...the possibility of asking someone to simply share an ordinary afternoon with didn't feel impossible.
it just felt terrifying.
*****
the thought followed ledger around the house with an irritating level of persistence.
it stayed with him while he cleared away breakfast dishes (he moved from his sanctuary of his bed), listening absent-mindedly to diem's running commentary about why cereal always tasted better on weekends than it did before school.
it lingered while he wiped down the kitchen counters, while he rescued a tea towel from the floor where diem had abandoned it halfway through "helping," and even while he stood in his utility room waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle.
every task that would usually occupy his mind seemed to happen automatically, his body moving through familiar routines while the same goddamn sentence replayed itself over and over again somewhere behind his ribs.
you were both unexpectedly free.
objectively, though, it shouldn't have meant anything.
people had cancelled plans all the time right? children got sick, teachers caught the flu, dance rehearsals were postponed, storytelling sessions were rescheduled. it wasn't remarkable. it certainly weren't fate - he'd never been someone who believed in that sort of thing.
and yet...his eyes drifted, uninvited, towards his phone resting face-down on the kitchen island.
he'd known you for months now.
months of hurried conversations at classrooms doors while twenty other parents waited behind him. months of exchanging polite smiles over diem's latest masterpiece or discussing reading levels and spelling tests.
then somehow, somewhere between recital programmes and text messages about garlic bread, those conversations had become something else entirely. not dramatically, not overnight, they'd simply...lengthened.
five minutes instead of two. questions that had nothing to do with school. comfortable silences that neither of you seemed particularly eager to break.
he couldn't remember exactly when he'd started looking forward to seeing you.
β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
his phone buzzed against the bedside table. he glanced down absently, expecting perhaps Roman or a reminder he'd forgotten to turn off.
instead, he saw your name. it still caught him off guard every time. not because you hadn't texted before. you had, several fuckin' times over the last week, and somehow those brief conversations had become one of the quiet highlights of his evenings.
it was simply the strange novelty of seeing your name appear in a part of his life that had, until recently, belonged almost exclusively to family. school had been one thing; the classroom belonged to both of you.
but this - saturday morning, coffee still warm in his hand, the house filled with the smell of toast - felt different somehow. softer. more personal. like you'd stepped across an invisible line neither of you had realised existed.
he unlocked the screen.
i regret to inform you that the universe appears determined to ruin seven-year-olds' weekends.
a laugh escaped him before he could stop it. another message followed almost immediately.
the storytelling event at Hawthorne Books has been cancelled.
apparently the storyteller's come down with the same thing half of North Carolina seems to have this week.
i'm beginning to think the children have offended someone.
ledger leaned back against his headboard, smiling down at the screen with a warmth that surprised him. it was such a you way of delivering bad news - not dwelling on disappointment, but wrapping it in gentle humour instead.
he could picture your expression as you typed it, eyebrows slightly raised, that small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. the image arrived in his mind so naturally that it startled him.
his thumbs hovered over the keyboard.
diem has jusr informed me of the dance rehearsal cancellation with teh seriousness of someone announcing the end of civiilisation.
the typing bubble appeared almost instantly.
oh dear...has she recovred?
eh, it's touch and go. she's uh currently negotiating with cereal.
when your reply came, he actually laughed out aloud.
please do keep me updated. i'll light a candle ;))
"who are you talking to~?"
ledger looked up so quickly he nearly dropped his phone. diem had returned carrying a cereal bowl almost as large as her head, eyeing him with the unmistakable curiosity of a child who noticed everything.
"no one."
she gave him a look that could only have come from spending too much time around adults. "you smiled."
"i smile."
"not like that~"
ledger opened his mouth to argue, thought better of it, and reached for his mug again. "eat your breakfast."
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
β€· Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs)
The First Walk.
The morning arrived wrapped in pale sunshine.
It wasn't particularly warmβnot by any stretch of the imaginationβbut after days spent almost entirely cocooned inside the house, the sunlight spilling through the kitchen windows felt like an invitation.
The kettle hummed softly on the counter while somewhere upstairs, Zaliyah let out one of her tiny squeaky stretches that had quickly become everyone's favourite sound.
Tyriq looked up from the mug he'd been making for Amira.
His entire face softened.
"She's awake."
Amira smiled from where she sat curled on one of the kitchen stools, one of his oversized hoodies practically swallowing her whole.
"You can tell from one stretch?"
He looked at her as though she'd asked whether the sky was blue.
"Of course."
"Baby."
"What?"
"That could've been anything."
"It was the sleepy stretch."
She laughed quietly.
"The sleepy stretch?"
He nodded confidently.
"Different noise."
She shook her head, unable to stop smiling.
"You've gone completely soft."
"I've gone completely dad, get it right."
The correction came proudly. Amira watched him pour hot water into her mug before carrying it over with the same gentle care he'd been showing her since the day Zaliyah was born. He placed it in front of her before leaning down to kiss her forehead.
"Careful, angel. It's hot."
She looked up at him with amused eyes.
"You made it."
"I know."
"So why are you warning me?"
"Because I love you."
Her heart melted.
Every single time.
"You really are impossible."
"And yet..."
He stole another quick kiss.
"...you married me."
Before she could answer, another tiny cry floated down from upstairs. Tyriq's head snapped toward the ceiling.
"I'll get her."
Amira stood at exactly the same time.
"I was already getting up."
"I know."
"So why are you running?"
"I'm not running."
"You absolutely are."
"I'm speed walking."
"You took the stairs two at a time."
"I have long legs, I'm 6'4, mama." He said, humorously.
She laughed so hard she had to grab the counter for support as he disappeared upstairs with all the urgency of someone responding to a national emergency rather than a newborn waking from a nap.
A few minutes later he reappeared.
Zaliyah was tucked securely against his chest, wrapped in a soft cream knitted cardigan over a pale sage-green sleepsuit with tiny embroidered daisies across the feet. Her little hat sat slightly crooked over her dark hair, and she blinked sleepily around the kitchen as though trying to understand why everyone insisted on waking up so early.
Tyriq looked impossibly proud.
"There she is."
He kissed the top of her tiny head before crossing the kitchen toward Amira.
"Mummy's waiting for you, princess."
The second Amira reached out, Zaliyah instinctively leaned toward her voice. It was such a small movement that anyone else might have missed it. Tyriq didn't. Neither did Amira.
"Oh..."
His voice came out barely above a whisper.
"Did you see that?"
Amira smiled, gathering their daughter carefully into her arms.
"I did."
"She knows you."
"You've been saying that since she was born."
"Because it's true."
He reached out to smooth one tiny curl peeking out from beneath her hat. "She always looks for you first."
Amira looked down at the little girl nestled against her chest.
"I think she looks for both of us."
As if on cue, Zaliyah turned her sleepy face toward Tyriq's voice.
He gasped.
"Angel."
Amira was already laughing.
"You've got to stop reacting to everything she does."
"I literally can't."
"I know."
He leaned down until he was eye level with their daughter.
"Good morning, princess."
Zaliyah blinked once. Twice. Then let out the tiniest little yawn. Tyriq's hand flew to his chest.
"Oh, come on."
Amira giggled.
"There it is."
"What?"
"The dramatic sigh."
"I'm not dramatic."
She raised one eyebrow.
"Honey."
"...Maybe a little."
Nearly an hour later, they still hadn't left. Because apparently taking a new-born for a ten-minute walk required enough preparation to survive a week in the wilderness.
The changing bag had been packed three separate times. Tyriq had checked the nappies twice. The wipes four times. The spare clothes five. He'd even packed an extra blanket despite Amira gently reminding him there were already three folded neatly beneath the pram.
"Sweetheart," she called from the hallway, slipping on her trainers while balancing Zaliyah against her shoulder. "If you put one more muslin cloth in that bag, it won't close."
"I just think six is a sensible number."
She laughed.
"For a twenty-minute walk?"
"You never know."
"What exactly do you think'll happen?"
He looked at her with complete sincerity.
"I don't know."
"And that's the problem."
She walked over, unable to resist cupping his face with one hand.
"Oh, bunny."
He immediately melted into her touch.
"You've thought about every possible disaster, haven't you?"
"...Maybe."
"You've imagined her getting cold."
"...Yes."
"Too warm?"
"...Yes."
"Hungry?"
"...Yes."
"Needing a nappy change?"
"...Obviously."
She smiled so fondly it almost hurt.
Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him softly.
"You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think she's got the best daddy in the whole world."
His ears immediately turned pink.
"Don't."
"I'm serious."
"You'll make me cry."
She grinned.
"Already?"
"We haven't even left the house."
"I know."
He looked down at Zaliyah sleeping peacefully against Amira's shoulder.
Then back at his wife.
"I just..."
His voice softened.
"I want everything to be perfect for her."
Amira reached for his hand.
"It won't be."
He frowned. She squeezed his fingers. "There'll be days we forget spare socks."
He smiled faintly. "There'll be days she cries for no reason."
"There'll be days we feel like we've got absolutely no idea what we're doing."
He nodded.
"But she'll never doubt she's loved."
His eyes filled instantly.
"Because that's the one thing we're already getting right."
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The hallway fell quiet. Morning sunlight streamed through the frosted glass of the front door, wrapping the three of them in a soft golden glow.
Tyriq stepped forward until his forehead rested against Amira's. His free hand came up to gently cup the back of Zaliyah's tiny head where she slept between them.
"My girls," he whispered.
The words were filled with so much love they almost seemed too small to hold it all.
"My whole world."
Amira closed her eyes for a moment, breathing him in.
Then she smiled.
"So..."
She tilted her head toward the front door.
"Fancy finally taking our daughter on her first adventure?"
Tyriq looked down at Zaliyah. Then at the pram waiting by the door. Then back at Amira.
A slow smile spread across his face.
"Our first family walk."
"Our first family walk," she echoed softly.
He reached for the door handle.
And together, hand in hand, with their tiny daughter nestled safely between them, they stepped out into the bright morning sunshineβthree hearts discovering that even the simplest journey could feel like the beginning of something unforgettable.
β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) lowercase intended!!
saturday mornings had developed a rhythm of their own in the Ward household over the years, one that had never been spoken about aloud and yet somehow settled into place with the quiet certainty of habit.
ledger was always awake first, though not because he particularly enjoyed mornings, but because years of fatherhood had simply trained his body to wake before the rest of the house, and even on the rare occasions when diem granted him the luxury of sleeping past seven, he rarely managed it.
instead, he found comfort in the silence that existed before little feet padded across the hallway floor, in the ritual of grinding coffee beans while the kettle boiled, in opening the kitchen window just enough to let the cool morning air wander inside, and in standing at the sink with a mug warming his hands as he watched the sleepy little street slowly come to life (which he stopped doing once he realised he looked like a creep).
saturdays, especially, carried a different sort of peace and pace. there was nowhere to rush to, no packed lunches to be made, no school run, no hurried search for missing jumpers or water bottles (although he claims he's calm in the morning).
just him, a quiet house, and the comforting knowledge that for one morning at least, the world wasn't asking anything from him.
well. that peace lasted precisely eleven fuckin' minutes.
"daaaaadddyyyy!"
ledger closed his eyes before his bedroom door had even finished flying open. "mornin' to you too, i guess."
"I got bad newsssss..."
there was a very specific tone diem used whenever she'd announced she had brought bad news into a room. it wasn't frightened or upset. if anything, it sounded almost like she was...excited. as though catastrophe was simply another interesting part of the day waiting to be explored, and poor ledger; he learned through years of experience that this usually meant one of two things:
either something genuinely unfortunate had happened OR she'd decided something entirely ordinary qualified as a national emergency.
without turning around, he lifted his mug to his lips from his bedside table. "is the house on fire?"
"no.."
"have..aliens landed in the backyard?"
"no."
"did...the president...call asking if you could run the country?"
a dramatic sigh. "daddy."
"so it can't be that bad."
tiny sock-covered feet shuffled across his floor until she sat beside him on his bed, clutching a sheet of pink paper that had clearly been folded and unfolded enough times to soften around the edges. her curls still stuck out in every directions from sleep, and one sleeve of her oversized pyjama top had slipped halfway down her shoulder. god, i gotta get her new clothes ledger thought.
she looked impossibly small for a seven year old, impossibly serious and entirely goddamn determined to deliver whatever devastating news she'd brought with the gravity it deserved.
"Miss Claire's poorly."
ledger frowned, finally looking down at the note in her hands. it took him only a moment to realise what it was - the printed email from the dance school announcing that today's rehearsal had been cancelled because her instructor came down with a nasty flu.
diem held it between both hands as though it were a formal letter from the president himself.
"oh," he said gently, setting his mug aside. "i'm sorry, bug."
" i pwactised all week..."
"i know, baby."
"i even did my stwetches!"
"i know.."
"a-and now it's cancelled..."
there wasn't anger in her voice - God no, 'cos the little girl had a heart of gold towards other people - only disappointment. that uniquely childhood kind of disappointment that felt enormius because, for a seven year old, it genuinely was.
plans mattered. things to look forward to mattered. ledger reached over, brushing a hand over the top of her untidy curls before pulling her into his side, and she leaned against him immediately with the unquestioning trust only children seemed to be capable of.
"we'll think of somethin' else," he murmured. "the day ain't ruined yet."
she looked up at him with doe eyes. "promise?"
he smiled despite himself. "pinky promise."
for a long moment she considered him, clearly weighing whether to believe him. then, apparently satisfied, she nodded once, hopped down from his bed she'd climbed onto, and wandered off in search of cereal in the kitchen, already humming to herself as though the storm had passed.
ledger watched her disappear around the corner, with an amused shake of his head.
wondering - not for the first time -
how someone so small could feel everything so completely.
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todayβs update(s) will be a bit late cos i was watching the england v panama match last night and idk how long itβs gonna take for me to write all three updates - BUT it will come i promise <33
also the ledger ward mature fic is halfway done π€π€
and iβm also at an event today but i genuinely promise itβs coming - lifeβs just been really freaking hectic right now ππ
β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :)
Ledger didn't mean to stay awake waiting for another message. That was the thing he would later tell himself. The thing he'd cling to when he was lying in bed staring at his ceiling at nearly midnight, his phone resting face-down on the nightstand beside him.
He wasn't waiting. He was simply awake. There was a difference. A significant one, as far as he was concerned.
Unfortunately, the fact that he'd checked his phone four separate times in under ten minutes weakened that argument considerably.
The house had long since fallen quiet. Diem was asleep. The dishwasher hummed softly somewhere downstairs. Outside, a steady rain had begun tapping against the windows, turning the world beyond the glass into a blur of orange streetlights and shadows.
Sleep should have come easily. Instead, his thoughts kept circling back to a single text conversation. Not because anything particularly remarkable had been said. Quite the opposite.
The conversation itself had been painfully ordinary. A joke about spaghetti. An accusation regarding Diem's manipulation tactics. A brief discussion about whether garlic bread qualified as a personality trait.
Normal.
Entirely normal.
Yet somehow, it had lodged itself beneath his skin.
Because for the first time, you existed outside of school pickup times and parent-teacher conversations. For the first time, he wasn't waiting to see you in a classroom doorway or passing you in a crowded hallway. There was simply a phone number in his contacts and the dangerous realization that, if he wanted to, he could reach out.
The thought should not have felt as significant as it did.
Yet it sat heavily in his chest anyway. His phone buzzed. Ledger looked at it immediately. Then immediately hated himself for looking at it immediately.
The message made him smile before he could stop it.
i have important information.
His thumbs hovered above the screen.
this sounds serious.
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Then reappeared.
For some reason, watching them made his stomach do something deeply unhelpful.
one of my students informed me today that garlic bread is "basically a vegetable."
Ledger stared at the screen. Then laughed aloud. A genuine laugh. The kind that escaped before permission could be granted.
lemme gues, was it Diem?
The reply arrived almost instantly.
how did you know?
He shook his head. Of course. Of course it had been Diem.
The child had apparently decided to dedicate herself fully to spreading misinformation.
For the next hour, the conversation drifted effortlessly between ridiculous topics. Students. Teaching. The increasingly bizarre logic children seemed to operate under. The fact that Diem had once attempted to convince an entire table of classmates that dolphins paid taxes.
Nothing important was discussed.
Nothing life-changing was said.
Yet by the time Ledger finally set his phone down, he realized something uncomfortable. He couldn't remember the last time talking to someone had felt easy.
Not polite.
Not manageable.
Easy.
There was no pressure to perform. No expectation hanging over every word. No careful calculation of what should or shouldn't be said.
Just conversation. Simple and uncomplicated.
The realization followed him into sleep.
The next morning, Y/N nearly poured orange juice into her tea. In her defence, she hadn't slept particularly well.
Not because of anything dramatic. Not because she'd spent hours staring at messages and smiling like an idiot every time her phone lit up.
Certainly not that. Her sister took one look at her expression over breakfast and immediately sighed.
"Oh no."
Y/N glanced up.
"What?"
"You're texting him."
The accusation landed with alarming accuracy. Y/N looked away. Her sister groaned dramatically.
"You're texting him."
"We had one conversation."
"One conversation that resulted in you smiling at your phone while brushing your teeth."
Heat flooded her face.
"You saw that?"
"I unfortunately have eyes."
Y/N buried her face in her mug. Across the table, her sister leaned back in her chair with the expression of someone watching a train derail in real time.
"You know you're gone, right?"
Y/N stared into her tea. The steam curled upwards between her hands.
Outside the kitchen window, the morning was grey and drizzly. Inside, everything felt strangely warm.
The terrifying thing was that she couldn't even deny it anymore. Not really. Because somewhere between recital programmes and classroom doorways and messages about garlic bread, something had shifted.
Not suddenly. Not dramatically. Quietly. The way seasons changed.
The way daylight lingered a little longer each evening until one day you realized winter had ended.
She thought about the way Ledger laughed. The way his eyes softened whenever Diem entered a room. The gentleness he carried beneath layers of grief and caution. The way he'd thanked her for coming to the recital as though she'd done something extraordinary.
And for perhaps the first time, she stopped trying to explain it away.
Maybe she was gone. Maybe she had been for a while.
By Thursday afternoon, texting had somehow become normal. That was perhaps the most dangerous part. Not the butterflies.
Not the anticipation.
The normality. The fact that she now expected little messages throughout the day. A photo of a drawing Diem had proudly presented at breakfast. A complaint about discovering glitter in places glitter should never exist. An update informing her that Diem had attempted to teach the family goldfish multiplication.
The messages arrived without expectation.
Without pressure.
Small glimpses into a life she'd somehow become part of.
And each one settled quietly into her day.
That afternoon, as the last students filtered out of the classroom and the familiar chaos of pickup began, Y/N found herself smiling before she even saw them.
Because she recognized Diem's laugh. Because she recognized Ledger's voice. Because she'd started looking for both.
The realization should have frightened her.
Instead, it felt strangely like coming home.
Then she looked up. Found Ledger standing in the doorway.
And for the briefest moment, before either of them spoke, before Diem launched into an explanation about playground politics and missing crayons and an entirely unrelated emergency involving stickersβ
Their eyes met. And something passed between them.
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
β€· Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs)
Tiny Toes.
The thing about becoming parents was that nobody warned them how many ordinary moments would suddenly feel terrifying. And they can range from the most mundane, ordinary thing to something that crosses the line of being extraordinary.
It doesn't include labour, birth or even the first night home. Hell, not even the first nappy explosion that somehow ended with both parents needing a change of clothes.
No.
It was things that should've been simple. Things that would have seemed completely insignificant a week ago. Like giving a baby a bath.
Amira knew this because she was currently sitting on the closed toilet lid in their downstairs bathroom trying - and failing - not to laugh while Ty stared suspiciously at the tiny baby bathtub sitting in the middle of the room.
His arms were folded. His eyebrows were furrowed. And his expression was that of someone preparing for battle. "Love."
He didn't tear his eyes away from the tub. "Hm?"
"It's a bath..."
"I know."
"You're starin' at it..."
"I'm assessin' it."
Amira pressed her lips together. "Assessin' it."
"Yes." The reply was so completely serious. "Safety checks."
At that point she gave up. A laugh escaped her immediately. Tyriq looked genuinely offended. "I'm bein' responsible!"
"Baby."
"Angel."
"It's quite literally a plastic tub."
He pointed dramatically - as if she'd cracked the goddamn code. "Exactly!"
Neither of them noticed the tiny sleepy noise coming from the changing mat until Zaliyah stretched. Instantly. Immediately. Every ounce of Tyriq's attention snapped toward their daughter.
The tub forgotten. The danger assessment abandoned. The world reduced once again to one tiny person. "There's my princess." His entire voice changed.
Amira swore it happened every time. One second he was talking normally. The next he was speaking as though Zaliyah personally hung the moon. The tiny baby lying on the changing mat blinked up at him.
Completely unaware of her power. Her dark hair had become slightly fluffier over the last few days. Her cheeks seemed rounder too. Or perhaps they were simply becoming more obsessed.
Either way. Tyriq? He was done for. He crouched immediately beside her. "Did you have a nice nap, sweetheart?"
A tiny yawn answered him. His hand flew directly to his chest. "Oh no."
Amira groaned. "There he goes."
"Did you see that?"
"She yawned."
"Exactly."
Amira buried her face in her hands. Across the room, Zaliyah kicked one tiny foot into the air. Ty's expression softened immediately.
Then. His eyes widened.
"Oh."
"What?"
"Look."
Amira followed his gaze. Tiny toes. Ten perfect little toes. Nothing unusual. Yet somehow both parents stared at them as though they'd never seen feet before. Tyriq carefully touched one. His finger looked enormous beside hers (partly because he's fricken 6'4).
"How are they this small?"
Amira smiled softly.
"I grew them."
He looked up instantly. The fondness in his eyes nearly knocked the breath from her lungs.
"You did."
His voice quietened. The teasing vanished. Because sometimes it still hit him unexpectedly. The reality of what she'd done. What she'd endured. What she'd given them.
His daughter. Their daughter. His entire world. He leaned over and pressed a kiss against her forehead. Long. Lingering. Full of gratitude.
Amira's cheeks immediately warmed.
"Stop looking at me like that."
"I can't."
"Bunny."
"You made her."
She laughed softly.
"You helped."
"I did excellent moral support."
The look she gave him was unimpressed. He grinned. Then looked back down at Zaliyah.
His smile instantly softened.
"Ready for your first bath, princess?"
Unfortunately. Zaliyah was. Tyriq wasn't. The second they carefully lowered her into the warm water, panic entered the chat.
"Oh my God."
"She's fine."
"She's slippery."
"Babies are slippery."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"That's terrible design."
Amira laughed so hard her stomach hurt. Meanwhile Tyriq remained convinced disaster was seconds away. One hand supported Zaliyah carefully. The other hovered nearby. Just in case. His eyes never left her.
Not once. Then something unexpected happened. Zaliyah relaxed. Completely. The tiny tension left her body. Her little hands unclenched.
And slowly...
Sleepily...
She sighed.
The softest little sigh. The kind that sounded suspiciously like contentment. Silence filled the bathroom.
Tyriq froze. Amira froze. Both looked down. Then at each other. Then back at Zaliyah.
"Angel."
His voice cracked.
"I think she likes it."
Amira smiled.
"Looks like it."
Their daughter stretched lazily in the warm water. Perfectly happy. Perfectly calm. And for a moment neither parent moved. They simply watched. Memorising everything. The tiny eyelashes. The little nose. The round cheeks. The impossibly small fingers resting against the water.
Moments that would disappear far too quickly. Moments they'd miss one day. Tyriq swallowed hard.
"She's getting bigger."
The words slipped out before he could stop them. Amira's heart squeezed. Because she knew exactly what he meant. A week ago she'd been tucked safely beneath her ribs. Days ago she'd fit entirely against Amira's chest.
Already she felt different. More awake. More curious. More here. Their baby wasn't staying a new-born forever. And somehow that felt beautiful and heart-breaking all at once.
Amira reached for Ty's hand.
He intertwined their fingers immediately. Neither spoke. They didn't need to. Because between them sat a tiny baby with sleepy eyes and wrinkly little toes.
And together they watched their daughter enjoy her very first bath.
β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :) (short as hell im so sorry it's too fuckin hot here in the uk).
Later that night, after Diem had fallen asleep with one arm wrapped around a stuffed rabbit she'd outgrown years ago, Ledger stood alone in the kitchen rinsing dishes beneath warm water.
The house had settled into familiar quiet. He reached automatically for another plate. His phone buzzed against the counter. Unknown number. Frowning, he dried his hands and picked it up.
The message had read:
hi. i owe you an apology if diem asks about spaghetti tomorrow. i fear i may have accidentally encouraged her. oh btw it's Y/N :)).
Ledger just...stared. Read it again. Then a third time. Slowly, he looked toward the hallway leading to Diem's room. The tiny criminal mastermind. He should ignore. He should absolutely ignore it. Instead he typed:
yeah well, i think we both victims of a very determined seven year old. from ledger.
Then added a follow up message:
for the record and what it's worth, the garlic bread apparently isn't negotiable.
He hit send. Immediately regretting every life choice he'd ever made. Then, to put an end to his misery, his phone buzzed.
duly noted. i shall prepare accordingly.
Ledger looked down at the message then laughed softly into the quiet kitchen. Because grief still lived here. Love was still frightening. Tomorrow wasn't promised. Memories lurked in these four walls.
But for the first time in years, someone new had stepped into the silence. And instead of wanting them to leave...he found himself reaching for his phone again.
iβm so sorry but no updates today - cos the england v ghana match just ended here in the uk and iβm absolutely knackered π₯² so three updates tmrw!! goodnight love yall <33 mwah π
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β€· Diem starts every sentence with your name. Ledger tells himself it doesn't mean anything. The problem is, he's starting to look forward to hearing it too.
warnings: mentions of grief, loss, and canon-typical references to kenna, swearing. otherwise this is just mostly ledger ward getting bullied by Diem :)
He swallowed carefully. Then looked at the little girl sitting across from him. At the daughter Kenna had loved with her whole heart. At the daughter who still asked questions about a mother who she'd never truly gotten enough time with. And softly he answered back.
"Yeah."
Diem looked up immediately. "Wait, really?!"
Ledger smiled. It wasn't exactly a happy smile. Nor was it entirely sad. It was simply honest. "Yeah, bug." His voice grew quieter. "I think they woulda been friends."
Diem's entire friends brightened. "I think so too."
And at that small but so meaningful revelation, something inside his chest cracked open. Not painfully. Not all at once, just enough. Enough to let the light in.
*****
Across town, you stood in your kitchen staring at a kettle.
"You're smiling at it."
"I'm not."
"You absolutely are."
You looked away from the boiling water. Your sister folded her arms across her chest. "You've been staring at the kettle for five minutes."
"I...I've had a long day."
"You have a certain 'teacher exhaustion face'."
"I always have teacher exhaustion face."
"You also have..." she paused, narrowing her eyes suspicious but knowingly. "...whatever this is." she gestured to your love-stricken face.
You blinked. "What is 'this'?"
"The freakin' smile."
"What smile?"
"The one people get before they tell me somethin' absolutely ridiculous."
Curse older sister intuition - you thought as heat climbed your neck. There was a long pause. Then it blurted out. "IthinkI'minlovewithsomeonewhoalphabetiseshisdaughter'slunchsnacks."
Silence. Pure, awkward silence. "...What? Come again?"
"I-I don't know when it happened, it just did."
"Oh my God..."
"I genuinely don't." You said, trying to justify what you were feeling.
"When the hell were you planning on mentioning this?"
"That's the thing...I wasn't..."
Your sister stared at you. Your hands couldn't stop twisting around each other out of nervousness. But to your surprise (and relief), she promptly burst into laughter. You covered your face with both hands.
"Ugh...it's not funny."
"It absolutely is!"
"He's just..." your voice softened. "...He's so himself, and just so...him."
The laughter faded. "What does that mean?"
You hesitated. Because how could you possibly explain it in mere words? How could you put something so quiet into words? The way he knelt to tie Diem's laces. The way he remembered every detail that mattered to his daughter. The gentleness hidden beneath dry humour. The love woven into ordinary things.
The grief he carried without letting it harden him. The promise he'd made before the recital.
You'll look for me and I'll wave.
Your eyes burned unexpectedly. "I don't know," you whispered. "I just..." your voice broke around the edges. "I think he loves people very carefully."
Your sister's expression softened. "Oh honey."
"What?"
"You're gone.
You looked down into your tea. Then smiled helplessly, despite the tears threatening to come out of your tear ducts. "Yeah..."
Through The Waves - Tyriq Withers x Amira Blake (oc)
β€· Amira Blake is in the final stretch of her pregnancy with her first child. After months of preparing, planning, and dreaming, early labour sets in. At home with her loving husband Tyriq, and surrounded by her doula, midwives, and mother, Amira begins the long and emotional journey of a home water birth. The story follows through her hours of contractions, moments of fear, waves of hope, and the unshakeable support of the people she loves most.
warnings: fluff, british OC (but can be read in any accent u want), set in London, emotional mess, ty being a girl dad asf <33 (ty took her last name btdubs)
I Don't Think I'm Doing This Right.
The morning had arrived quietly. There were not dramatic contractions, no more frantic phone calls, no excited tears from visitors meeting Zaliyah for the first time, no more overwhelming firsts.
Instead, the London sunlight filtered gently through the curtains, painting golden streaks across the bedroom walls while somewhere downstairs the washing machine drummed softly.
Their house smelled faintly of coffee, and baby shampoo, and despite how peaceful it all looked...Amira felt like she was absolutely drowning. She stood in front of her bathroom mirror, one hand braced against the sink whilst the other absentmindedly adjusted the oversized tee hanging from her frame.
Her reflection looked unfamiliar to her. Her hair sat in a messy knot on top of her head. Dark circles settled beneath her eyes. There were faint traces of dried tears she'd forgotten to wipe away completely after Zaliyah's early morning feed...cos Tyriq had always wiped them before they even fell.
And now? Everything hurt. Her back ached like hell. Her body was still foreign. Heavy. She'd barely slept. Barely eaten. Barely remembered whether she'd brushed her teeth before or after changing Zaliyah's nappy.
She looked...tired. No. She looked exhausted. Not the type of exhaustion that a nap can easily fix. The kind that settled deep into your bones. The kind that came from being needed every hour of every day.
The kind that came from loving someone so fiercely that you forgot where you ended and motherhood began.
She stared at herself. Then tears blurred her vision. "Oh, God."
The sound escaped her before she could attempt to stop it. Her breathing hitched. She pressed a hand over her mouth. Then all of a sudden, she couldn't breathe around it anymore. The tears came hard and fast.
Because Zaliyah had struggled to latch during one of her feeds that morning. Because she'd cried during a nappy change. Because Amira had accidentally put one of Zaliyah's sleepsuits on backwards and hadn't realised until Tyriq gently pointed it out.
Because everyone kept telling her she was doing so amazing. But she didn't feel amazing, not at all. In fact, she felt scared, overwhelmed, guilty for even being overwhelmed when she'd wanted this baby so desperately.
A quiet sob escaped. "I'm not doin' this right."
The bathroom door opened slowly. "Angel?"
Amira froze for such a short second. Tyriq was stood there wearing grey joggers and one of his old hoodies. His hair was still messy from sleep. Zaliyah rested against his chest in the baby carrier he'd insisted on trying despite claiming it looked "too complicated".
One tiny hand peeked out from the blanket tucked around her. She was asleep. He took one look at his wife. And everything changed. The softness left his posture immediately. Concern flooded his face.
"Baby?"
Amira shook her head quickly. "I'm okay."
Ty didn't move. "Mama."
"I'm okay, I promise."
His voice dropped to an octave that was only used for her. "Amira."
The use of her actual name broke whatever fragile control she'd managed to hold onto. A sob escaped her. Then another. And another. Before she knew it, sobs were taking over her body. "I don't think I'm doin' this right."
Tyriq crossed the room instantly. "Hey."
"I'm tryin' so-so hard."
His heart shattered over the fact that his wife, his world, his love is doubting herself. "I know, mama, I know."
"What if...what if she deserved someone better?..."
He blinked. Then blinked again. Because he surely ain't misheard. "What?"
Fresh tears slipped down Amira's cheeks. "WhatifI'mnotenough?"
The words came our rushed, as Tyriq stared at her. Then very carefully, he shifted Zaliyah's carrier to where he could wrap both arms around his wife. Amira collapsed into him instantly, as soon as she felt his warm embrace.
"I can't stop cryin'."
"Oh, angel.."
"I'm so tired, Ty."
"I know, baby."
"But, God, I love her so much that it hurts."
"I know."
"What if I mess her up? Like what if she doesn't grow up the way she deserves, and-and she decides she hates my parenting o-or even me-"
Tyriq pulled back just enough to cup her face between his hands. His own eyes had become suspiciously shiny. "Look at me."
Amira hesitated.
"Please." he begged.
Slowly, she lifted her gaze. "You carried her for nine freakin' months."
His thumbs brushed away her tears beneath her eyes. "You brough her into this world. You feed her. You hold her. You know exactly what her cries mean before I even do." his voice cracked towards the end.
"You sing to her when you think nobody is listenin'." A watery laugh escaped Amira. "You kiss her little fingers, you tell her good morning every. single. day."
His forehead rested against hers. "You are her mother."
The tears spilling down her cheeks doubled. "And there ain't nobody in this world God could've chose who could do that better than you."
She shook her head. "You don't know that."
"I do."
His voice didn't waver. "Because she looks for you, she settled against you, she knows your heartbeat." He pressed a trembling kiss against her forehead.
"You...you are her whole world, sweetheart."
Amira finally broke. Completely and utterly broke. She buried her face against his neck and cried. Not because she didn't love motherhood, God no. But because she did. Because she loved it enough to be terrified of getting it wrong.
Tyriq held her through every wave of fresh tears. Never once asking her stop. Eventually, a tiny squeak interrupted them. Both heads lowered. Zaliyah blinked up sleepily from the carrier.
Her tiny face scrunched. Then relaxed. As though sensing her mum's distress, one tiny hand escaped the blanked. Amira sniffled. "Oh, bub.."
Tyriq carefully lifted her out of the carrier and into Amira's arms. Immediately, instinctively, Zaliyah tucked herself against her mother's chest. Content, safe. Amira looked down.
Fresh tears slipped free. "I love you so so so much."
Tiny fingers wrapped around one of hers. Tyriq's strong-macho-man composure finally cracked. "Oh c'mon."
Amira looked up, and saw that his eyes were glistening.
"You two gotta stop doing that."
Despite everything, she laughed. Albeit softly and weakly, but genuinely. Ty leaned down, kissing the top of her head before kissing Zaliyah's tiny forehead. "My girls."
Amira leaned into him. "What if tomorrow I don't know what I'm doin' again?"
He smiled sadly. "Then we'll figure it out."
"And the day after?"
"We'll figure that out too."
"And after that?"
He pressed another kiss into her hair. "We've survived contractions. Wait no, you literally pushed an entire human being into this world. I'm sure we can survive figuring out nappies."
A breathless laugh escaped her. "I love you."
Tyriq's eyes softened instantly. "I know."
Amira narrowed hers. "You were supposed to say it back."
A grin tugged at his lips. "I love you more, ma."
He tucked her beneath his arms. "I always will."
Outside the bathroom window, the morning carried on. Birds sang. Cars passed. The washing machine continued its endless cycle downstairs.
Ordinary sounds. Ordinary moments. And nestled between her parents, Zaliyah yawned sleepily before drifting back to sleep, unaware that she'd just taught them one of the biggest lessons of parenthood:
You don't have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep showing up. Again. And again. And again.