Don't Smoke Crayolas

my husband answers a phone call from any of his friends and says some variation of “hey baby. miss me? what are you wearing?” and then they do this bit back and forth it’s like gay chicken but how far will they push the hypothetical gay phone sex. I just sit there listening because I love gay stuff

Everyone saying this is marly and Ilya on the phone and shane listening in is right. You’re correct

Silence thine idiotic countenance, Ser Marleau! We of the most distinguished and tenacious Russian bloodlines doth not flush like maidens! Ne’er in all mine days upon thy Lord’s great earth hath I done this most lewd and lowly of acts!

computa make my mutuals have a great day

My cow had a baby IF YOU CARE!!!!

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

I literally have no context for this and it’s fucking me up.

GODS BLOOD HOLLANDER THERE ARE THINGS UNDER HEAVEN WHICH HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU

shane voice SO TELL ME OF THEM THAT I MIGHT KNOW!!!!!!

Look I don’t even fucking like Scott Hunter that much, but the chirping scene was so funny. Imagine you’ve just had simultaneously the best and worst moments of your love life due to your own stupidity, and now you’ve got man man run em down Rozanov and boy wonder Hollander saying fuck shit in your face in a span of twenty four hours, I think I too would bring a tank to a knife fight and tell Shane to wipe the cum off his lip before he speaks to me😭

Every note I get on this post is just another excuse for me to come back and look at his tummy again! Thank you! You're all a part of my agenda!

Streaming services jumping on hockey adaptations like that’s what made heated rivalry successful

dm’ing people on here is so embarrassing 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️hi it’s me the giant pervert who lives in your phone. how’s it going

shane kills someone and ilya is like no was not murder he had good reason defending him til the very end and ilya kills someone and shane is just like fuck do it again baby 😍😍😍😍

prithee, do not marry lady svetlana. do not. i know that such an arrangement would not bear the fruits of love or other similar outcomes. but do not. we shall dream up a better future, the two of us... together.