houndbug

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

what do you think i was jacking off to...?

i didnt expect these to hit so hard but then they kept going and going….my god

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

Normal sized fidget toy

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

wotc has gotten. just. devastatingly good at servicing fans of mtg in between ub slop sets. i feel like im with a girl who's annoying as fuck and can't stop making references to the marvel cinematic universe and thinks superman is stronger than goku but she gives unreal head. absolutely reality shattering blowjobs

too cool to jerk off to pictures of women with impossible hip to waist ratios yet not cool enough to jerk off to the concept of being killed, the rōnin pervert wanders this land in search of a slightly-higher-concept yet not totally abstract form of fetish posting

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

But both Mommy and my little condensation slut gave our condensent so like I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for yours... I guess I could get like a new table or whatever but it's just not the same if it isn't mahogany.

okay red what the fuck do you mean "condesent"

makes a weird little noise to indicate that i want you to touch me inappropriately

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

this made me look it up and according to science focus we didn't know because when we studied them in rivers they don't have reproductive organs but they actually break down their internal organs on their trip back to ocean to spawn and replace them with their reproductive ones. Then they fuck in the ocean and die. Or at least this is what scientists think because it can't be replicated. Eels you see in captivity are just captive little guys.

this post also made me look something up