Lilacs and Gingersnaps

I like when someone invents a new and disturbing way to Decorate Wrong

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

First of all put some respect on my name

17. Never attribute malice to my daughter which can be equally be attributed to ignorance.

18. The human whose name is written on my daughter shall die

i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

And once I was told "if you don't agree with their actions, why do you seek their approval"

why am i being ratioed here...no's come to my defense

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

okay, i hate men