Here look at the entire Papyrus of Ani
People were smaller back then
Not today Justin
occasionally subtle

#extradirty
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Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Origami Around
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@apollosdrunkenmixup
Here look at the entire Papyrus of Ani
People were smaller back then

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Help I made dinner that's too tasty. Now I have eaten too much.
I made like 3 days' worth so this problem will be ongoing
Is that 3 day's worth before discovering it's too tasty, or 3 day's worth accounting for the eating too much?
I ate one third of it
I have a new favourite batshit rail idea
Please build it for the funny please please please
You're right. I SHOULD be able to take the train from Minneapolis to Berlin.
I keep fish and sometimes breed them (free fish hack). At the moment I have some beautiful fellows that are getting up there in age, so it's time to create more.
I separate all of my fish by their gendies as soon as you can possibly tell them apart to keep the population of my tanks where I want it, and to prevent inbreeding (and all of the complications that stem from that). These lads have effectively never seen a girl.
When I added the female to continue their legacy, they didn't know what to do. So they did what any respectable man might do in that confusing situation: ignored her and continued having sex with each other.
So preoccupied with one another are they that I'm honestly not sure if they will ever include her in any way that matters. Their bloodline ends with gay sex, and tbh, I kinda love that for them.
The g in lgbtq stands for guppy. 🌈
As if to mock me directly, they are now going out of their way to have sex in front of her while she just floats there like
I've turned off the light so that maybe they'll include her by accident. 🤫
Free fish!
(Created by accident in the dark.)
I need you all to know, I sat on this news for 72 hours, closely monitoring, waiting for more to be born and this is it. There are 4 of them. 😂
Asdfghjkl
"Accidentally discovered straight sex while confused in the dark" is like. The opposite of a porn premise.
I'm down to the last 9 fish and have given up selective breeding in desperation and just made the largest aquarium co-ed. They simply will NOT have heterosexual sex. I'm at wits end. Like please include the females. I'm begging. 🙇
The lights are off. My fingers are crossed. There are 0 fry. It's been months.
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Hey Derin what the fuck
I personally love this plan
Thank you Dark Lord Australia, it's so fun to discuss hypotheticals with innocent strangers.

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If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Hey Derin what the fuck
I personally love this plan
Thank you Dark Lord Australia, it's so fun to discuss hypotheticals with innocent strangers.
A highlight in the history of uninvited cats on stage has to be the premiere of Rossini's Barbiere di Siviglia:
... during the finale, a cat arrived, and mingled with the performers. [Figaro] chased it from one side, it returned from the other side to throw itself at the legs of [Bartolo]. ... the audience imitated its meows and encouraged it to continue its improvised role.
Alexis Jacob Azevedo: G. Rossini, sa vie et ses oeuvres (1864)
Did you know guinea pigs are born just like. Tiny adults? They’re fully cooked. They come out, eyes open, fully furred, ready to do the whole array of guinea pig activities.
I learned this as a child. I was perhaps ten when this story took place. Our female guinea pig was pregnant, but she’d gotten mites and needed a bath. She was wildly pregnant. Bulging at the seams with babies. Ready to burst at any moment because all the babies needed to stay in there long enough to be full pigs. But we wanted to avoid the babies all getting mites and needing baths. We failed, they all needed baths. Mites are a bitch.
We knew she had three babies cooking in there. How did we know? We could feel each individual bulge in her belly. My mom was overseeing the pig bath but I was pretty much just doing my own thing, scrubbing her gently, rinsing the soap carefully.
After the bath our mother pig was not in the best mood. I was carrying her back to her freshly made mite free bedding when she’d had enough.
I was acutely aware that I was holding four lives in my childish grip, and I bore her along as if she were made of precious jewels and spun glass. Balanced in my hands I could feel the bulge of each of her babies slithering wetly around under her skin.
Which is why when she hauled off and sank her teeth into the meat of my hand I didn’t flinch. I didn’t drop her. I bore her as carefully and steadily as if I weren’t now bleeding freely, and I set her gently into her pig palace.
As I drew my hands away I screamed:
“FUCK!!!”
I then turned to look at my mother, who’d been watching the process intently.
I was fully aware that I had just done the worst possible swear directly in front of an authority figure and was very probably going to be punished. My mom was looking at me with a blank expression that I was waiting to turn stormy or disappointed.
“That must have hurt a lot,” was all she said.
She helped me throughly clean and bandage the bite. All the babies were born healthy and sound, looking like someone had used a shrink ray on trio of a guinea pigs.
Years later my mother confided in me that contrary to my belief that she’d be angry for swearing what she’d felt for me in that moment was overwhelming pride that in the face of pain and shock I had refused to let harm befall my little charges.
“what does the woman who shaves gain from not shaving” i don’t know, an extra 3+ hours of free time a week? peace of mind and comfort in her femininity? not having nicks and cuts and ingrowns all the time? having a healthier skin barrier? do people think at all whatsoever before saying shit on my posts?
It takes some of you 3 hours to shave? I do it when I’m showering and it only takes me a couple of minutes. What sort of razor are you using? Even when I use an older, duller razor it doesn’t take me that long.
“Peace of mind and comfort in her femininity”
I couldn’t imagine anything less comforting and feminine than looking down at my legs in a sundress and seeing hairy man legs. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look like a woman. That’s not lacking peace of mind, that’s normal and it’s misogynistic to say that femininity is the opposite of peaceful and comforting. Not all of us are desperate to be treated like men.
oh wow
I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.
What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?
first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you
ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually
had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'
@chekhovs-tantrum
Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.

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*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king
this is the perfect reblog post cancelled
roommate texted this to me……..
update on this from my (now former) roommate:
there's this weird thing people fall into online a lot, where people assume that if the [perceived-to-be-inferior] version of [activity] is discouraged then people will, naturally, do [perceived-to-be-superior] version of [activity] instead. When really it's just as (or more) likely that if [perceived-to-be-inferior] version of [activity] is discouraged people just won't do it at all.
audiobook listeners are not necessarily people who would otherwise do a lot of traditional reading if audiobooks did not exist, many are people who simply would experience zero books. Booktok romance readers would not necessarily be reading the classics if booktok did not exist, many of them would simply not read. Fanfiction writers would not necessarily be novelists if fanfic wasn't an option, many would just be people who didn't write. You know?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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doing research in the field of humanities is interesting because there isn’t necessary this paradigm of the most recently published studies are by definition the best that you get in the hard sciences, like sometimes that book published in 1909 really continues to be the best foundational text about 1590s amsterdam, but then again sometimes i’m reading a text published in the 60s and it starts describing italian culture as “oriental” with no further discussion and i’m like hmmm maybe i should find something a little more current
#Melanin Beam Challenge at NUMBER NINE IN THE TOP TAGS LET MOTHERFUXKING GOOOOOOO!!!!!