Significant

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PAINT JOB I NEED ON MY CAR.

driving my newly painted car down to my job at the children’s hospital

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

it's that time again, kids

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.

the concept of a site that doesn't even allow porn requiring age verification for mature content. you gotta give us your legal id or else we'll hide random posts that were incorrectly flagged from you

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man