shrub

then I looked in the notes and y’know.

some people seems confused.

Why a shopping cart with stained glass? 

or This would be cool to shop with

or something about religion and NO

NO

THIS. Is about HOMES.

That style stained glass? Those diamonds? They speak to me, and they say “Townhouse”. and FANCY townhouse, at that. They say “City home, old home, a home that is RICH, a shelter from the storm and a safe place for a family”.

But on! a! shopping cart!

That evokes - to me - Homelessness.

The person on the street who had no other choice but to steal the best cart they could from a store’s corral just to have a way to transport the meager belongings that are all they fucking have in this world. And it’s NOT a home or a safe place or a shelter but it’s all you fucking have!

And this piece goes and puts them fucking together! AND NAMES IT.

Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog

Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects

Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects

misused sports terminology

thoughts without Blorbo: oh my god I was so cringe in seventh grade why did I do that

"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."

"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."

Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars

A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

And then I get legions of people who are like "Ah, so you're okay with people DOING BAD THINGS?" No, I'm explicitly against that

"Ah but if they DID THE BAD THINGS, it's because they were THINKING ABOUT IT and WANTING TO DO IT." Correct. The problem is the doing

"Oh, so you think NO ONE who EVER thought about doing bad things has EVER done a bad thing??" No. I'm sure many of them did think about it beforehand. I'm sure many also did not. It's the doing that's the issue

"So you want me to be COOL with PEOPLE DOING BAD THINGS" No. The doing is the problem. I also don't expect you to be cool with anything, I don't know you or care about you and nobody is owed any particular emotional reaction

"YOU WANT ME TO LOVE PEOPLE WHO DO BAD THINGS" Not really no

"YOU WANT ME TO KISS PEOPLE WHO THINK HARMFUL THOUGHTS ON THE MOUTH" Not really no