SO IâVE HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO RESPOND. I am desperately in love with his idea.Â
Because my god. I can 100% see this being absolutely ridden with angst. If Coco was around 20 years old, too, she might have mostly forgotten the song that her father sang. With the ban on music, she remembered well enough that her father had sung music. But sheâd forgotten what his voice sounded like. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could hear a soft-spoken warm warble.Â
And when Remember Me comes out, her mother bristles, but thereâs not enough in her to say for sure that thatâs her fathers song. She probably doesnât even think twice. She hears is once while she sweeps outside when a man drives by with his speakers turned to 11, and she doesnât blink.Â
Thatâs Ernestoâs song. She knows Ernesto de la Cruz. Who doesnât. She keeps sweeping.Â
Sometimes what it takes to trigger a memory is the exact noise. She wouldnât recognize a song given to her so long ago if it had changed as drastically as it had.Â
So when she finds HĂŠctor, it wouldnât click who he was. She might comment on Ernestoâs songs as Ernestoâs song (something that would quickly discourage HĂŠctor from thinking this was his Coco- his Coco would remember his songs; and really he was giving himself too much credit in his ridiculous and wonderful hope, that sheâd hold his memory that tightly, even after sheâd had years without the reminders).Â
Meanwhile, Coco doesnât even believe her father is dead. Sheâs been raised to believe her father left. Itâs the reason she leaves the door unlocked each night (theyâd been robbed twice- nothing much taken, but her mother had brought the chancla down for what she assumed was just a forgetful daughter, not a hopeful one) and continued to write letters and send them to the little P.O. box in her fathers name theyâd never had the energy or will to close.Â
There are certain days, though, that are different. Her birthday. Fathers day. Dia de los Muertes. Those are days where she sits outside the family home and watches in both directions. Until the sun sets and the streetlights flicker on, she sits, drumming her hands on her knees.Â
Imelda always tried to get her daughter to give up the habit.Â
âWhat if he forgot where we lived,â sheâd always say, as rationally as one could through the mist of frustrated tears. âI have to stay here. All the houses on this street look the same.âÂ
Imelda always gave up and let her daughter be.Â
And though something in her knows that it wont happen, she still holds an absurd amount of hope.Â
She got her mothers pride and beauty and wit. She got her fathers hope.Â
And so she needs to get uncursed. Not only for her own sake. But because she needs to get back. After all, itâs Dia de los Muertes, and how will her father find their house if sheâs not sitting outside in her brightest clothes?Â
What if this is the year that he does come back to them? And sheâs not there?Â
No. She needs to get back.Â
The two of them run circles round the other on their travels. One of them out to get a picture to remember her fathers face once he returns to their home (and he will- she intones, her mantra overused and worn. He will come back). The other trying to get her to take back a picture of him for any ofrenda. Because âI have to go see my girlâ.
âMy picture, my last picture,â the skeleton explained. âItâs with Ernesto. You get de-cursified, I get my picture on the ofrenda, you go home, I see my girl, BOOM! Everyone leaves happy! Claro!â
âÂĄBueno! Such a good child, now come on. ¥Ăndale!âÂ
He doesnât realize that the picture sheâs looking for is the same one that he is. They donât ask. They just go.Â
Theyâre Riveraâs. Itâs a family trait to swing shoes first, ask questions later.Â
And itâll be later, when they donât get the photo, and sheâs without a blessing, that the Remember Me makes its round. âI used to sing all his songs to my girl, you know? They were mine. Well. Hers. They were hers. Hers and her mothers.âÂ
Coco looks up. Girl. Girl. Like-Â âdaughter.â
âSi. She was young, when I left. And I meant to come back. Iâd been a fool. To leave, in the first place. They needed me, and I let me prideâŚâ he cursed softly down to his hands. âI try to visit every year, you know? Iâd have sung her her song, if I could. Even if she couldnât hear it. JustâŚâ And he scrubbed his face. âIâd have given anything to let her know her PapĂĄ was trying to come home.âÂ
The song comes out, softly. The first few lines. Theyâre warbled. And a little out of practice.Â
Coco had always been more of a dancer than a singer, and her voice isnât spectacular or wonderful. But she doesnât think of that when the words come out of her, from a memory she didnât even know sheâd had vaulted away.Â
Of sepia light and warm, large hands cradling her chin, and her fat, small fingers tracing the nose and eyes and ears. She remembered him leaving. She remembered waiting for him to return. She remembered-
âPapĂĄ-â the word is choked. Thereâs a decades worth of grief trapped inside her. A decades worth of waiting outside houses.Â
She fits in his arms too well, and when he gathers her up first, and her arms fall around him second, they donât think much about anything else.Â
âI waited,â sheâd sniffle.Â
âLo sientoâŚâ he says. âI tried⌠PapĂĄ triedâŚâ each little half phrase said between a peppering of kisses to her cheeks, her forehead, her nose.Â
Keeping himself alive doesnât matter as much anymore. Heâs seen her. He can go. Happily, he can go.Â
But she deftly refuses the marigold and sets her face into a scowl that would have made Imelda proud. She wipes off her face, smearing tears and clumping her hair to her face and neck. âWeâre going to get that picture,â she snarls. âAnd weâre going to get that guitar. And weâre going to destroy Ernesto, tonight.âÂ
âNo arguing, PapĂĄ. This is my curse. Iâll deal with it how I want.âÂ
He doesnât argue. Not when sheâs like this, finding a way out of the sinkhole with a few clever calls to some Alebrijes passing overhead. But the marigold stays in his pocket. Just in case.Â