The Shrillest of Ceilings

One harmless pet peeve of mine is when someone claims a bird eating another bird is cannibalism. Ooooh you ate a cow that's cannibalism!!! You ate pork, you cannibal! Get REAL. You truly have to know NOTHING about animals to think that birds eating birds is cannibalism

You're right and you should say it.

Making fun of @the-great-lizard-wizard, not because he's done anything wrong, but because, apparently, the only way he knows how to meet women is through his big sister.

i can meet women elsewhere!! i swear!!!

If I get a third partner and you also ask them out, I'm never gonna let you live that down, dude.

Sounds like you'll just have to bark at it yourself! Someone's gotta do it!

my two coworkers, looking in horror as i rush towards the door barking at the customer:

WTF

How my mind shows me my mistakes vs the actual mistake

Fun fact: Spending too much time in an anechoic chamber will literally drive you insane!

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!

I'm surprised I've not seen anyone talking about the fact that Elon Musk is threatening to buy My Little Pony

And Hasbro, and thus DnD

nah, no "and". He talked about buying hasbro, which includes D&D and My Little Pony and more

If people start saying this he'll probably shut up about it. He's operating at about the mental level of a 14 year old already.

well I've got two twitter accounts with 150k followers I've been meaning to burn, let's have them @ elon and call him a weirdo who wants to own Rainbow Dash.

Full send!

Adult realization: you will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. You will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. People will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. None of these make you a bad person. All you can do is try your best to be kind and just to people, grow and learn.

in addition: Trying to avoid ever doing these things will cost you in ways you cannot comprehend until you stop and accept this.

@fishyfishyfishtimes

Oh woah. Little guys are a bit nervous about being in such a big space!

I believe those are all morphs of Amphiprion ocellaris, the common clownfish.

Thanks friend!

a trans woman expressing love freely and openly to everyone in her life. a beautiful thing

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.