Lord send me a mechanic if i’m not beyond repair @the-great-lizard-wizard - Tumblr Blog

“I asked ChatGPT —”

Okay well I asked the picture of Michael Jackson in my pocket and he told me to get the fries with my burger soooo

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grimeclown

“hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please the meal would be great”

texcritterspizzajamboree

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

meme-loving-stuck

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

kaban-bang

userfish

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

userfish

ABSOLUTELY COMICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

markrosewater

mark i don’t know who you are but everytime i open tumblr you’re on my dashboard like clockwork

i have started to wait for you to appear every time i open the app you are like my friend now

have a great day

Taking over the world one Tumblr account at a time. : )

#magic the gathering #lost tumblrinas #got another one

ace-disgrace-on-the-case

STOP SETTING OFF FIREWORKS

ace-disgrace-on-the-case

Nobody cares about your stupid holiday. Stop setting off fireworks!!!

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spiribia

Why is so much adult oriented 2d animation bastard ugly, do they know they don’t have to do that? The characters don’t have to projectile vomit all the time either, but maybe that’s asking too much

drtanner

Endlessly annoyed that "adult animation" always means "juvenile sex jokes, violence and gross-out content in a hideous art style" and never "storylines that are too complex and mature for children to understand".

the-great-lizard-wizard

Bojack Horseman is fantastic but you do have to get through the minute long barf joke in episode 1. it’s the thing i warn everyone about. yes this show made me cry multiple times, yes it’s so fucking funny, unfortunately there’s one bit…

it’s midnight and i’m starting to believe that anyone selling fireworks in my state should be thrown into the creek and left there, and anyone shooting them off should be conscripted into the fire department.

two fire trucks have gone past my apartment tonight. three last night. the whole state is on fire and you want to shoot off fireworks? seriously?

#lizard screeching #i’m so tired man #maybe bedtime is in order but like fuck

morphmateria

Ohhhh I forgot how much I love FF7

morphmateria

Okay. I don't know if anyone knows this. But Tifa Lockhart is in there. And she's my friend? And there's also Barret Wallace. And he's my friend? Am I the only one who knows this?

morphmateria

I don't know which programmer made the marching mini game but I hope they got an incurable disease and died PAINFULLY

the-great-lizard-wizard

i sense a shift in your tone here

i’ve done three art fight attacks so far and i am trying to ride of the initial mania and excitement until my brain stops letting me focus. they’ve all been colored pencil drawings even though years past have all been digital.

i got to draw an allosaurus tho so yay!

#lizard screeching

as much as i hate the mormon church, im glad dirty sodas are more of a thing now. it’s nice to be able to go to a restaurant and get a funky non alcoholic drink. could this have been invented without the mormon influence? yeah. my boyfriend has been doing this shit for years and i started doing it before i moved in with him. but im glad fast casual spots are trying to make something fun soda wise, and im a big fan of coconut cream.

#lizard screeching #dirty sodas #look the mormon church is undeniably evil and i wish someone else popularized them #but i get why they specifically started making a fuck ton of dirty sodas

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markrosewater

I keep getting your QnA stuff in my explore feed and I still barely have a grasp of what everyone is asking about. Is it a specific card game/board game? Is it the whole company? What art is being made? Please explain it to me 😊

I'm the Head Designer of a game called Magic: The Gathering.

#magic the gathering #lost tumblrinas #finally making the collection #i need to scroll back and find the others

draconym

great work everyone hit the bathhouse

striders

it’s infuriating when the customer is wrong yes we all know this. however it’s probably 10000x worse when the customer is right, because what do you MEAN my coworker deleted 7 of your fucking accounts off of your profile when you just wanted to edit them and now I have to deal with it??? i can’t even be pissed that you’re being a bitch about it because i would be too!!! fuck!!!!

#my bf used to work at a bank and oh boy The Stories #i hate it when i have to be mad at a coworker because they did some dumb shit!!#in my experience the customer is usually nicer when you go damn i’m so sorry let me fix that for you #instead of sorry i can’t help and you’re stupid

going out of business used to mean something. you could buy the Subway decor. you could pick up tables and chairs. they’d sell you the shelves to recoup losses.

now they’re not evening putting merchandise on clearance. they’re trying to sell you shit at full price while going out of business.

#lizard screeching #based on true events #!!some of the shelves weren’t even accessible!! they weren’t even selling everything!#no wonder your business didn’t survive i’m sorry man but this is a shitty sale

zealiketea

*Attenborough voice*

And here we see the uncommon transfem in her natural habitat, scrolling Tumblr, hugging her IKEA brand blahaj and eating stale biscuits at 2am. Based on her slumped position, self-comforting body language (such as rocking back and forth), as well as her generally unkempt look, we can infer that she is currently undergoing a depressive episode. Ah, she's about to cry again. Let us move on.

zealiketea

dont you dare

118sexen

:3

118sexen

we are getting closer :3

zealiketea

hey. this isnt being hidden in the tags. op certified addition

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ofbeinghonests

if you have one, tag with the "6 degrees of separation" you have with a celebrity

#my mom once gave David Hill (guy who worked with Oppenheimer) a tour around a museum #also my bfs dad knows someone in SAG who talked with Ryan Gosling #at least i’m pretty sure it was Ryan Gosling #funny story

maryfitzroy

Gracie the giraffe is described as having rounded ears. She went missing from a ranch in Real County.

im crying dude

fandomsandfeminism

Yeehaw yall. Gracie is on the run.

fandomsandfeminism

To answer some common questions in the tags:

1. How do you lose a Giraffe? She apparently scaled a cliff that served as part of the enclosure (which the other giraffes in the herd had shown no interest in climbing.)

2. Well it should be easier to find her, she's a whole ass giraffe? Yeah, you'd think, but Texas ranches are fuckin huge. The man has apparently hired a helicopter and several drones to aide the search, but no luck yet. She's been seen on some game cameras on the nearby ranches though. But she's sneaky.

3. Why does a random guy in Texas have a herd of giraffes? Because it's Texas and we have basically no exotic animal regulations. No really. If you have enough land out in the hill country, you can just own stuff. It's fuckin nuts.

asexual-thot

#i’m gonna be real i don’t think the rancher should have Gracie #gracie the giraffe #zookeeping #i wish her the best she seems like such a cool animal just having a blast on the range #she’s a young presumably healthy giraffe i don’t think mountain lions are going to be an issue #and coyotes DEFINITELY aren’t going to fuck with her

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Lord send me a mechanic if i’m not beyond repair