sometimes men are obsessed with other men not because theyre secretly gay but because theyre so misogynistic that they literally dont view women as people worthy of any degree of attention or value
OR they're aro/ace who probably got abused by the first few women in their life (parent, teacher, church person, sibling or cousin, et c). the women who uphold patriarchy abuses are a GODDAMN MESS, and the worst kind of ladyhaters come from environments and systems that encourage women reinforce their own oppression and take their anxiety and rage out on kids.
Wait sorry are you saying it's okay to be sexist if you were abused. Also I literally do not understand what being asexual has to do with this
I've actually heard this defense many, many times- usually they claim they had an abusive mom or abusive ex gf.
These guys will turn around and abuse every single woman they meet as punishment. 50% of Earth's population is punished on behalf of a single person. and we all simultaneously say 'awwwww poor innocent victim!'
But, if you say you hate men because you've been abused, it's "not all men", "forgive and forget", "he's still your dad", "he was young/going through a hard time", "what did you do to povoke him?", etc., etc., etc.
I think it also ties back to this conception of oppression as an individual problem of outward hatred rather than a systemic one of exploitation. In my experience a lot of people absolutely view oppression as certain individuals being 'evil' and running around screaming "I hate [insert group of people]".
When that is one's idea of how oppression works, believing that said individuals behave that way because of personal negative experience with the group they hate seeems reasonable. Moreover, under this conception, 'reverse oppression' now totally makes sense, too. Since it's just about individual hatred.
That's how a parent not letting their child watch a movie they're too young for becomes oppression: the child brought up on online leftism sees this as an act of hatred, which is therefore oppressive. It's also how 'TERFs' are so oppressive despite being such a small minority. And how men are actually just as oppressed as women. And how white people merely had bad experiences with immigrants.
These people have zero grasp on systemic oppression - although sometimes they're cherry picking which areas it exists in and which areas get the individualistic angle. And yet somehow sexism is the one that gets thrown under the bus the quickest...
