poggers!

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

It exists and it's called Portland, Oregon

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

unfortunately i can’t control everyone’s perception of me down to the smallest detail. unfortunately they have their own lives and brains that inform the filter they see me through when i exist near them. and i could be the greatest possible version of myself and i could people please until the end of time and i could walk a thousand miles through the desert repenting and still it would not change this one fundamental fact