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i have so much worldbuilding and speculative thaumobiology up in my brainmeats about them, and all my twitter post about mimics no longer exist >_>

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@lovelymimic
Ask us about mimics!
i have so much worldbuilding and speculative thaumobiology up in my brainmeats about them, and all my twitter post about mimics no longer exist >_>

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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pokemon is about siccing your dog on a creature that is intrinsically, biologically, a baby mime
pokemon is about an act your dog can perform on someone else’s dog, which sports announcers and scientists alike are calling “gunk shot”
for the lovely lovely deafies out there who want to get involved in direct action you absolutely 100% cannot ever bring a hearing aid or cochlear implant with bluetooth to any direct action. bluetooth devices all carry a unique signal that can be used to identify you if it's picked up at a direct action. go with a [more] hearing buddy and communicate in sign language. if you don't mutually know a sign language then come up with gestures. do not risk your freedom because you want to have your hearing aid/cochlear implant at the action. it's not worth it.
flock cameras are also now tracking bluetooth device signatures when you pass them. if you drive past a flock camera with your bluetooth-enabled hearing aid or cochlear implant, the flock camera knows you passed through
Wait I just realized this is gonna apply to all cgms and most if not all insulin pumps. They’re all Bluetooth devices, it’s essential to how they work
I did not think it possible, but I have just developed even more hatred, derision, and contempt for the perpetual surveillance state.
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me: isn’t it funny how captain kirk was supposed to be the sex appeal of star trek but it ended up being spock
my dad: i thought it was bones
me:
my dad: i thought bones was supposed to be the sex appeal
prev you’re the only person here that gets it
how the fuck did you figure him out this fast
new top contender

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the thing about catgirls with prominent tummy is that it's vitally important
The concept of himejoshi fromsoft enthralls me. How many kinds of barefoot level up maiden can you really have in a game? Like logistically there has to be some kind of diminishing returns before you have to start inventing mechanics
(With reference to this post here.)
Conveniently, the optimal numbers for mechanical synergy fuckery and matchmaking drama fuckery both line up at exactly five.
#care to share sources or reasoning? #less doubting more I would like to understand (via @dragoninthelabratory)
From a mechanical synergy fuckery standpoint, three archetypes almost always falls into a facile rock-paper-scissors arrangement, and it's surprisingly difficult to prevent four from decomposing into a pair of dyads. Five is the smallest number that reliably allows things to get interesting in potentially non-obvious ways.
From a matchmaking drama fuckery standpoint, there's a fairly hard cognitive limit on how many pairings your average player will be able to keep in their head before some relationships start to get short shrift simply because the player forgets they exist. Assuming all possible pairings are valid in some circumstance, five candidates produces a relationship graph with ten edges, which is very close to that limit.
Funnily enough, the former lower bound and the latter upper bound just happen to be the same number.
maybe the cold and squirming thing from beyond the stars isn't in the mood for tentacle rape this evening. maybe it'd like to bottom for a change. have you considered that
transmasc user fails to comprehend the joke of post about transmisogyny in an extremely condescending way. many such cases
returning to this brilliant post bc ive been getting really into centaurs lately for normal reasons and im really noticing that this is a trend there too. presumably this pervades in many terato spaces but im not extraordinarily active in many of those. anyway it’s already exhausting lol, it really hit me when i saw a random post that was like “centaur gf” and one of the things was “big spoon obviously” and it reallyyyy made me pause and go holdddd on lol. obviously centaurs are pregnant with metaphor but omfg maybe the huge horse girl wants to be cuddled too bitch. it happens with werewolves too and it’s just so obvious. why would a girl with a wolfcock exist if not to breed. why would a girl with a horsecock exist. and like, god, the most frustrating thing abt this is is that i know it probably seems ridiculous from the point of anyone who’s not a trans girl lol.
tl:dr; if you have a tentacle monster gf, or a centaur gf or a werewolf gf, you better be doing crazy shit to her prostate. and hold her. and get her flowers. you all treat any remotely monstrous woman as a phallus and it’s annoying!! come up with something else!
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How did you get so good at writing??? Did you take classes? I feel like you should get paid all the money for this! (I subscribe to your website!)
after i dropped out of high school i found a torrent of like 5GB of OCRd romance novels and i read like 3 romance novels a day for a while
read enough romance novels and you will realize that they live or die entirely on technical skill. if you are new to romance novels then even bad ones can dazzle you with novelty but by the time you are on your 30th historical fake engagement between a bluestocking and a rakish duke you can grade them and you know when they've failed. when two books have what should be the same main characters hitting the same plot beats, but one of those books is delightful and the other fucking sucks, you learn some things. some books are bad and still delightful. other books are good but they just don't hit. you start to see the seams in the bad ones. 'oh, this is a weird out of character moment because she wanted to have the kabedon moment and didn't know how to get there'. 'she didn't want the ust to end but couldn't think of a better reason than this deus ex cockblock.' that kind of thing.
you could probably do this with other genres but i like romance because the plot is two people fall in love. that's it. everything else is set dressing. if you can figure out how to make that work you can carry it over into whatever other genre you feel like. mysteries would give you a different skillset around plotting that i don't have.
anyway after that i wrote a lot.
i said it in my original tags but i want to talk out of my ass and say that one place that a lot of current romantasy falls short for me is that it ends up being written by people who mostly read other romantasy without going back to the original genres of romance and fantasy. it's like a 'learn the rules before you can break them' kind of thing. you have all these magical macguffins to hit the tropes but can you make me believe that these characters have chemistry without that? is there chemistry, or did you tell me they're fated mates and now i'm supposed to assume this fight is sexy? does the fantasy aspect exist for anything aside from the magical macguffins? i'm not going to throw stones from inside my house made of worldbuilding designed to make all my fetishes happen, but the really fun part is when the lore spins out of control and you end up really going in depth on linguistic anthropology things that aren't relevant to the makeouts.
and the other thing is that you can't really sub in fanfic for this. plenty of fanfic takes characters from other genres and plops them into romance, but it's not the same. a good romance novel says, "here are two characters. you may know their archetypes, but you don't know them. you are going to get to know them, and you are going to love them, and you are going to want them to love each other, and when they love each other you are going to be happy for them". i love a rakish duke. when a man who's never had to do his own laundry is slutty as fuck that's my shit. but you still have to make me like him. you can take that archetype and make a guy who fucking sucks. most fanfic will not impart to you any knowledge about how to make a reader like a guy from scratch. you already know that guy. that's the whole point. fanfic with as much character building as an original work is the exception, not the rule.
the whole reason i get catty about fics that just make a different guy is that... you've made a different guy. i don't know who this guy is and i don't like him, and you haven't bothered trying to make me like him, because you slapped another guy's nametag on him like a cheat code. it's cool if you did make me like this new guy, but why is he wearing that other guy's nametag if no other aspect of him is present?
read the genres you want to write, obviously, but there's a reason the shitty comphet romantic subplot is a cliche. it's because romance is its own skillset, and if you try to fit romance in your thriller when you only read thrillers it's probably going to be the weakest part. if you want an ensemble cast then chemistry between characters is important regardless of whether they're going to fuck about it.
#this is also what i call the Star Wars Problem (although: wide category lol)#but i mean specifically the thing where george lucas watched a BUNCH of westerns and samurai films and ww2 flying ace films#and then made a space movie ABOUT high points in those other story forms#because he knew those pulp genres inside out and knew what bits he needed to hit in RAF Dambusters pulp when he added laser swords#or in western saloon showdowns when he added spaceships#but then you fast-forward a few decades and people are making star wars movies ABOUT other star wars movies#and like not many of those scenes are going to hit that way - they just wont have the chance#they’ll be a copy of a copy and the emotion is going to degrade like the worlds crustiest reformatted ocr PDF#or a xerox of a xerox of a xerox#they’ve ceased to be about the feeling generated by the Form and have become simply the Form in isolation (via harrietvane)
it's also why Andor worked because Andor was telling a story that was not specific to the Star Wars universe. It was universal. and the trade craft was insanely good. like this person understood tradecraft the way that people who created the OSS and SOE understood tradecraft. People are people and are going to act like people even when they're aliens, and the show understood that deeply in every way that mattered.