fighting the war on rpf on the side of rpf
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shark vs the universe
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@shiwisins
fighting the war on rpf on the side of rpf

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i miss younow danisnotonfire i feel like post hard launch or even post hiatus phannies cant understand the specific sick and twisted parasocial bestieship that was forged by logging on to listen to dan tell half a story 3 times while occasionally interrupting himself to argue with a wall or rant condescendingly at someone who asked a question he didn’t need to answer
"Are we gonna finally get over this Phil trash #1 allegation?"
"If I was in Bella's position when I was 17 I would have made every single decision identically"
Oh really Dan Howell you would have sacrificed everything to be with a disturbingly pale boy in your late teens? I had no idea.
Public Relationship Phil is a whole menace. you can just tell he's been saving up the boyfriendisms since 2009.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this
Whereas the reality is far more like
Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko
One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.
Literally amazing that there’s a predator that goes “mrrp” and you’re allowed to have one in your house
"I get it Phil, and by I get it I mean this was a year before I stalked you so I got it"
actually so fucking funny to play gay chicken with your boyfriend on camera while pretending you’re straight. no one was doing it like them.
Writing meme: last 10 fanfics!
Rules: Post the first sentence(s) of your latest 10 fanfics, then tag 10 people
Got tagged by @phoenix-is-still-here to do this. <3 It’s been a while since I wrote DnP (all of these are from minimum last year, thanks to a concussion knocking me out of writing for this one, so none of these are new – it took me months to even get back to reading) and I also did a version for my full ao3 acc over on my main tumblr @deepdowninshipperhell – but I wanted to do the DnP version too, even if you guys probably know all these fics. :3 I’ll do the first paragraph instead of the first sentence for most of these!
I think most everyone has already done this, but in case anyone would like to do another round, please officially feel tagged and do feel free to tag me in your versions so I can check them out!
a small beast called hope
AU, T, 6.7k
Manchester is vast and new and terrifying. It was the first university to offer Dan a full ride, and seemed like the easiest way to get as far away from home as quickly as possible, at the time, and that still holds up: whatever else Manchester is, it’s not Wokingham.
spoiled
PWP, E, 3.7k
They don't tend to go out and meet new people very often; they're both homebodies, so outside of touring, the amount of new people they meet in a year can, typically, be counted on their fingers.
Mediterranean Bread For Beginners
Mixed Media, G, 1.8k
Easy Mediterranean Bread for Beginners
Ingredients
500g all-purpose flour
40g black olives (without pits)
300 ml water, room temperature
100g dried tomatoes in oil (the type with added herbs)
6 tbsp oil (from the dried tomatoes)
1 1/2 tbsp tomato paste
1 packet dry yeast (or 20g fresh yeast)
2 tbsp oregano (dried or fresh)
1 tbsp rosemary (dried or fresh)
1 tbsp thyme (dried or fresh)
Pinch of salt
Time needed: ~2 hours
terrace days
Emotional Hurt/Comfort, G, 1.8k
Dan wakes up with a dull headache.
The day is grey and rainy; probably, that is. It feels like a grey and rainy day, but he isn’t really certain, because he hasn’t looked out the window to verify this.
saturday tea
T, 1.3k
They’re still technically on the outskirts of an argument about – something ridiculous, something that isn’t even worth arguing over; an argument Dan mostly picked so Phil would talk back at him and maybe get a little mean about it – when Phil comes into the living room and announces, with all the aplomb of a bursting drain pipe, “My mum’s coming over this weekend.”
sk8ter girl
AU, T, 4k
“I should get her to teach me sometime,” Dani thinks dreamily, and only realises she’s accidentally said it out loud when PJ shoots her a Look. Capital L and everything.
medieval princess
PWP, E, 1.5k
Every once in a while, it’s like this.
Dan is sitting in the lounge, mindlessly scrolling twitter – with his private account, which doesn’t keep recommending him tweets about himself and Phil, thank fuck; it’s well curated, which means it’s mostly Formula 1 and anime mpreg. He’s a connoisseur, thank you very much – when Phil comes in, naked except for the WAD-hat on his messy hair and the glasses perched on his nose, absent-mindedly scratching at his stomach, blearily blinking at his phone, which he’s watching instead of where he’s setting his feet.
santa baby
PWP, E, 3.4k
“You can open your eyes… now,” Dan says, and Phil does as he’s told. His eyes widen, staring at Dan, and then he starts giggling uncontrollably at the same time as he goes beet-red, his entire face flushing.
clay dog
Proposal, T, 2k
Dan fucking loves Australia. Their plane touches down in Brisbane, and there’s a lightness to his step even as the heat of the Australian summer makes him sweat out of every single pore.
alpaca
Coming Out, T, 2.7k
They’re having fun with it until they aren’t, suddenly.

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(direct link to yt comment pls go like if you agree. text version below the cut:)
i think there's a big difference between "does a celebrity have the right to read the RPF you write about them" and "does a celebrity have the right to read the RPF you write about them to hundreds of thousands of people on their podcast, many of whom might feel quite negatively towards RPF" and there's also a difference between "do they have the right to" and "is that a nice thing to do that will make the fic writers in their audience happy"
Like I think a lot of people are trying to litigate the concept of “do Dan and Phil have a right to read phanfic” instead of “is this a fun and enjoyable podcast segment for all involved.” The podcast is meant to be fun and entertaining and if large groups of people aren’t finding segments fun and entertaining they’re allowed to say so to Dan and Phil. And Dan and Phil would probably appreciate being told that something they meant to land as lighthearted and fun was landing very poorly with some of their audience!
#yeah ive always found anyone reading out fics they havent wrote to a large audience to be in poor taste#obviously excluding joke fics like the hat one or w/e#but it juet feels mean spirited even if that isnt the intention#but i did grow up going to cons where people would have panels making fun of random fics they found. so
@phag2009 if i can take your tags for a moment. i completely agree and i think the thing for me is that no matter how nice the person reading the fic is, there are so many people in the audience who are just predisposed to really hate fic and won't take it that way. i went through all of the patreon comments earlier this afternoon (there were a couple hundred at the time) and while i didn't see any criticizing the specific fics, there were a lot that were pretty negative towards RPF in general and even more that were just dismissive (it's just fic/why do you care so much about fanfiction/it's not that serious, which is a really crazy thing to say about someone's art that they put a lot of time and energy into!!). dan and phil have been incredibly supportive of RPF, and it's not so them that i don't trust to be respectful as it is their extremely large extremely passionate audience. dan and phil could literally say "don't harass this person we love them so much for writing this fic and we think it's awesome that anyone cares enough about us to write fic" and a quarter of the comments would be like "it's so kind of them to say that even though RPF is really disrespectful and makes them uncomfortable!!!"
my favourite thing about phil sharing the pinof kiss with dan through youtube is their wanking material having a view counter
showing up nightly to the devils sacrament, pretending not to notice as it hits triple digits. young love 🫶
pinof 1 kiss Real and Alive anything is possible

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when your association with the glue guy is that he's your man
Excellent Dan & Hank interactions today