confelicity, noun: pleasure in another person's happiness

For too long he'd sat on the edges of social entertainment, claiming he was too awkward or didn't have any friends. The truth was parties bring about intimate questions, whispered loudly between strangers. Who do you fancy here? Think you'll snog anyone tonight? What's your deal, anyway? Maybe enough alcohol will reveal the answer.

Tonight, the last night of their first vacation as a public "item", or whatever the hell people were calling it these days, things would be different.

Phil had laughed after the attractive stranger at the bar walked away. He'd invited them both to a beach party where there would be "plenty of blokes to show you a good time." Did he really find it laughable that they might do something adventurous for once?

"We should swing round, just for a bit." Dan tried not to sound too eager but couldn't tell if it was for Phil's sake or his own.

"What, really? I thought we had a Switch date tonight. You wanted to try that room service cheesecake."

Dan would be lying if he said the thought of three flavor marble cheesecake didn't almost break the spell he was currently under. Even still, he pushed through the desire for rich and decadent hotel foods and stood his ground.

"How many parties have we ditched for cheesecake? Too many," he looked sternly at his partner.

Phil giggled but tried his best to pay attention to the love of his life, despite the silliness of the premise.

Dan couldn't help but laugh a little too, "Come on Phil, let's go have some fun."

He leaned into the blonde boy and smiled, I want to drink a ridiculously expensive cocktail and do ridiculously cheap shots and dance with you on the beach. Lean into that twink rebirth, you know you want to."

Phil laughed loudly and genuinely this time.

"Okay yeah, let's do it. Just don't get totally sloshed, yeah? I'm not spending my vacation dragging your blackout ass up the shore."

Dan gasped and put a hand to his chest in mock drama, "Me?? I would never, I'm a classy bitch and you know it."

Phil rolled his eyes and shoved him towards the door, "Come on party boy, let's go live out your teenage dreams."

—------------------------

Somewhere in his body Phil could sense the waves. There's something different about feeling the beat of the music in your bones when it's bouncing off the walls around you and that same beat as it sinks into the atmospheric background mother nature has so conveniently provided. One connects you with your soul, the other connects you with nature itself.

He was thinking of the many wondrous things the sea had to offer him as he danced, body pressed between the many others in this place. Sweat mixed together and made for a specific texture that he was trying not to think about and the music was not only unfamiliar, but unpleasant. Visions of giant kelp and sea turtles certainly weren't the worst coping mechanism for these discomforts. He knew for a fact that at least some of these men were only able to endure them with the help of hard drugs. Surely daydreaming was an acceptable compromise. Even still, it took him a moment too long to catch the eye of his boyfriend making his way through the crowd with a second round of drinks.

"Earth to Phil," Dan said cheekily, "What are you thinking about?"

It was hard to hear him over the bass and the other dancers so Phil just took his drink in one hand and his partner's hand in the other and led him to the outskirts of the crowd. They didn't go too far. Phil wasn't sure why this party was so appealing to Dan, but he wanted to support him anyway.

Dan smiled and asked again, "What's going on in that silly brain of yours?"

Phil tried his best to focus on the positive, "Sea Turtles! I was just thinking I bet they can hear a cool distorted version of the music under the surface. Now we can say we've partied with sea turtles."

Dan laughed, "A beach filled with hot gays and you're glad to have been with the sea turtles you can't see."

"How do you know the sea turtles aren't also hot gays? Don't judge just because they're turtles."

He snorted at that, "Sure Phil, I'll be sure to make an apology video to the sea turtles immediately."

Before Phil could respond, a stranger with locs and neon green swim shorts walked up to them and waved at Dan.

"Hey man, I like your shirt"

Of course he had an American accent too.

Dan smiled wide, "Thanks! I picked it up at one of those street market booths in town"

"Sick, wanna dance with me?"

Dan's smile didn't falter but Phil watched as he blinked too many times. He was panicking.

"You know, normally I would but I think I'll finish this cocktail and take a breather."

Phil raised an eyebrow, "Don't let me stop you, you should go out and have a good time."

Dan's eyes shot daggers at Phil and stammered over something about needing to hydrate first.

American Man wasn't fazed, "All good, I'll find you out there later."

He left with a wink and Phil laughed as heat spread across Dan's cheeks.

"Didn't you come here to be adventurous?" he teased.

Dan just shrugged, "I came here to be adventurous with you."

Phil smiled softly, "And here we are, on the outskirts of the party, chatting each other up, listening to terrible music and rejecting strangers for no good reason."

"The music really is awful, are we just OLD, or do they just have terrible taste?"

"Probably both, but you're missing the point. You wanted to come to this party and I've danced more than you have and talked to more people, and by the looks of your still very full glass I've drank more than you too. What's going on?"

Dan looked around at the party and asked himself the same thing. He thought about how he'd imagined this going. It was less warm in his head. And more fulfilling.

"I think I just wanted to make up for lost time. We've gone public now. It doesn't matter if anyone sees us. We can do what we want and not have to make excuses."

"Okay, but what is it you actually want? Because you're saying its the party but I don't think that's true."

Dan thought a moment more, chugged the rest of his drink and said, "Let's go back to the hotel, but before we do-"

He took a step closer to Phil, took his face between his hands and kissed him hard.

Phil was shocked. They'd never done something even close to this amount of PDA before, but he couldn't help but find himself sinking into the kiss. He placed a hand on Dans waist and tugged at his shirt there, pulling him closer and slowed the kiss down. This wasn't urgent, it didn't need to be desperate. They had the rest of their lives to kiss at parties they'd rather not be at.

After a while they pressed their foreheads together and caught their breath. In the background, the party carried on entirely uncaring in the face of this moment. To them it was a completely benign, drunken kiss, but Phil knew better and so did Dan. This wasn't just romance, it was freedom. Finally.

—--------------------

"Get out of the way, bitch!"

"Eat my banana peel ho!"

"Dan! That was uncalled for!"

"Oh, oh no! Is Phil sad he's going to lose? Oh it's real easy now, look at that, just cruising across the finish line and that's two out of three, isn't it? Better luck next time Philly."

Phil shook his switch angrily and longed for the days when you could just chuck the controller and not have to worry about replacing an entire console.

The knock at the door came to rub salt in the wound.

"What perfect timing," Dan gloated, "loser gets the door."

Phil groaned and got up. He opened the hotel door to a staff member delivering wine and cheesecake and made sure to tip them well.

Closing the door behind him, he padded across the floor in his sock feet and, despite Dan's protests, didn't stop until he got to the balcony, overlooking the ocean below them.

"If you want cheesecake, you have to get up and join me."

Dan acquiesced and joined Phil outside. This room came with two rocking chairs and a small wooden side table that Phil set the drinks and dessert on. The boys sat and ate together in the cool night air.

After a minute Dan asked, "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Phil did his best to listen and sure enough, beyond the wind and the waves and the general bustle of the hotel entrance below them, Phil heard the very specific sound of distant music, the kind so far out that you can only hear the bass pounding. They same bass that had just been pumping through his blood only an hour before. Dan blushed, remembering how they kissed before.

"Was the party really that loud?" Phil asked, "Where is it?"

They both looked down the beach until they found, way in the distance, a small cluster of color changing lights. That's where they stood only an hour prior, when they thought the night would be completely different.

Phil looked at Dan for a moment as he gazed down the shoreline, "Are you sad we left? Do you regret leaving the party early?"

Dan shook his head, "No, I was just thinking I'd rather be in a place where I can hear you, not just see you from across the bar, hoping to clock a vibe."

"It seems like you liked my vibes well enough when you kissed me earlier," Phil smirked.

Dan looked away, "Was that okay? I know we don't really do pda. I got carried away."

Phil reached out and grabbed Dan's hand, "I always like kissing you, but more than that, I liked seeing you begin to discover more about who you are."

Dan smiled and sat back down to eat another slice of cheesecake, but corrected Phil on one point, "Not who I am, who we are."

They spent their evening drinking too sweet wine and chatting about whatever came to mind. At one point Phil insisted on a Mario Cart rematch, so they began hurling insults at each other.

bonus fiona i love you fiona