What An Idiot

Text: congrats on the failure babe, most people don't even try

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting

omfg I can’t BELIEVE I hadn’t reblogged this adorable addition to my post yet. I love the balloon and the flower crown.

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

had food poisoning when i posted this

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

I've been put in the tank 😔