ÌÕṂPÆØЁ

if i left my body and soul at the door then how the fuck am i at that party

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

i’ve been so well-behaved i deserve to light things on fire now

The best thing is to be silly and play with your friends

watching vids about tiktok drama with one of those '1 hour of silence occasionally broken by flowery' videos. its like hes reacting to the video with me

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her