You WILL Play Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

THIS ENDS HERE. YOU ARE THE PENIS AND I AM THE CAR DOOR

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

I hate gamers…

skyrim fans, grab your shouting

Pokemon fans, grab your balls

this event is cancelled

a watched nut never busts. or something. i dont fucking know what you people find funny anymore. 9/11.

why is this the one

This post is from LAST YEAR but just moments before I saw it, I scrolled past an Amaury Guichon post from last week and word for word these were the comments. I love you, Tumblr.

they really don't make Bigass Cabinet For Computer anymore. we were at the used furniture warehouse the other day & they had so many. that's the way things should be. lock away that wretched machine when you're done looking at it

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

One, two, three, four, and even five, and even six.

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

seeing this image in 2026 is like seeing an old friend who I've dearly missed