midnight mumbles

About five years ago I made the Great Switch and gave up tampons and pads forever. I purchased a DivaCup at my college’s feminist sustainable intersectional co-op coffeehouse (they sold it right there at the counter) and I’ve never looked back. Once I figured out how to use it, the DivaCup changed my life forever and I quickly started spreading the gospel.

After five years of using the DivaCup I am still 100% in love with it and that love has just been renewed after a recent week of finding myself without it. 

The DivaCup

A short summary of why I love the DivaCup:

Forget your period! The number one thing that I love the most is that it lets me forget I even have a period for the ENTIRE DAY. I change it when I wake up, I change it when I go to sleep, and that’s that. No rushing to the bathroom to see if my tampon has leaked through, no waiting until I can change soggy pads, no gross feeling of blood exiting my body.

Sustainable and economical! As long as I’m not losing my DivaCups (like I did when I traveled two months ago…) just one will last me years! Say goodbye to wasting money on a box of tampons or pads every few months.

Comfort! It feels better. It really does. I truly hated the feeling of dragging a cotton wad out of my body (especially if it was a light day and the tampon was kind of dry) and the DivaCup gets rid of that feeling. Even if it’s the very beginning or end of my period, I can still use it without discomfort. And of course, no pads, which always felt like diapers to me.

Carefree! You can leave it in for a super long time (in emergencies I’ve definitely left it in longer than the recommended 12 hours) and not have images of Toxic Shock Syndrome running through your head.

Travel friendly! I’ve traveled a fair amount in the last five years to different countries and regions with different products and ideas about menstruation. Having the DivaCup means I never again have to worry about if I’ll be able to find tampons in whatever place I’ll be. Plus, it comes in a cute floral pouch that makes it discreet for carrying.

Another reason I like the DivaCup is that it has made me more comfortable with my body and my menstruation. It makes it very clear how much blood/uterine lining/etc that you’re losing and during what part of your period that happens. It makes me more aware of what is normal for my body and more comfortable with my anatomy as well.

Here are some things to be aware of with the DivaCup:

Cut that stem. It comes with a stem but I had to just cut the whole thing off because it poked me and was uncomfortable. Once I did that, it was perfect and I couldn’t feel it at all.

Learning curve. There’s a learning curve, so use it with a backup as you’re getting used to figuring out the best way for you to insert it and remove it.

Public bathrooms. It’s annoying and difficult to change if you’re in a public or shared bathroom where the sink is in a common area. I’ve done it both covertly and proudly, but it’s still kind of annoying to dump it, rinse it, and then go back into a stall to reinsert it.

I figured I would be using the DivaCup forever and never need to worry about that kind of thing again. However, I recently went on a short trip and forgot to bring my DivaCup! I had some emergency tampons, but after a day of that I immediately remembered how much I didn’t like them in the first place. I didn’t want to go buy a new DivaCup, so I made some calls to the local CVS locations and decided to try out the Softcup.

The Softcup: General

Softcup! The first design for a period product that promises mess-free period sex! Apparently Flex just bought Softcup so now Softcup might be called Flex soon. Either way, it’s a collection cup tampon alternative that claims to give you the option of mess-free sex.

Like the DivaCup, the Softcup is another type of menstrual product that catches the blood inside of you. However, the design and placement on insertion differ. The DivaCup is designed like a mini rounded silicone shot glass. On the other hand, the Softcup has a semi-rigid rim with a soft shallow plastic-like pouch to catch the blood.

The DivaCup sits just inside your vaginal canal, but the Softcup is inserted so that it sits right below the cervix and the rim is tucked behind the pubic bone. That means it is essentially out of the way of the vaginal canal. Please note that because it sits right under the cervix, the Softcup is not recommended for those who have an IUD. Because the cup part (more like an open pouch) is soft and it is tucked away behind the pubic bone, it leaves the vagina clear for penetrative activities (Softcup is NOT a contraceptive).

So I tried the Softcup for a few days and also happened to be visiting with my partner so I got to find out if this miracle product lived up to its claims.

First, general thoughts:

It’s pretty easy to insert once you realize that you’re supposed to angle it down rather than up like tampons and menstrual cups. Unlike menstrual cups where you have to figure out the right way to fold it, you just pinch the Softcup rim so that it is small enough to insert. I also found it easy to remove—you just hook your finger on the rim and it slides out.

You can’t feel it once it is inside of you, which is good.

It was about $12 at CVS (less with coupons and whatnot) for 14 12-hour disposable Softcups. Apparently they make a reusable kind, but honestly $12 for 7 full days of a menstrual product isn’t that enticing. My $30 DivaCup lasts me literally years so it’s already a better investment after a few cycles (depending on how many days your period lasts).

I noticed more leaking and had to consistently wear little panty liners throughout the whole time I wore the Softcup. Maybe I didn’t get the suction right when I inserted it? But it says that it should mold itself to my “unique internal shape”.

Disposal is weird. When I took it out I just don’t know what to do with it. It seems weird to just throw it into the trash as a cup full of blood but it doesn’t make sense to wash it out in the sink if I’m just going to throw it away? I tried wrapping it in toilet paper but it takes a lot of paper since it’s literally an open pouch of blood.

Honestly I wasn’t overly thrilled with it at this point. It seemed to work as well as a tampon with the comfort of the DivaCup but I was annoyed by the leakage. Of course, this was just the first time using it, so there’s that.

The Softcup: Sex?!

Now for The Test. My partner and I have a long distance relationship, so when we do get to see each other it is very annoying if I’m on my period. I figured this was the perfect time to try out the Softcup. 

It was… fine. I know, not a ringing endorsement, but really it was fine. The main thing: it seems to work! I did, indeed, have generally mess-free sex on my period. My partner and I concluded that it didn’t feel that much different, except a bit drier than usual and maybe not as deep.

Later, we tried it out again but I ended up taking the Softcup out. My partner enjoyed it more without it and I agreed, though it wasn’t a huge drastic change. It just felt a little deeper and more lubricated.

I do have to say one thing though: if you have penetrative sex with the Softcup, I would suggest taking it out and reinserting it before going on with your life (like sleeping). I suppose the motion from “rigorous activities” can dislodge it from its suction fit. When I did NOT adjust it after having sex with the Softcup I woke up the next day with bloody underwear 😞

Final Thoughts

So. Final thoughts: Right now I am back at home and wearing my amazing DivaCup and it feels great. As in I don’t feel it at all and I also don’t have any leakage to worry about. The Softcup was a cool experience and I think I prefer it to tampons even with the leaking. Also, the leaking could just be due to me figuring out how to use them for the first time. It is also cool to have the option of mess-free sex.

However, when put up against the DivaCup, I gotta say that the DivaCup wins. I found the Softcup to be less reliable and more messy. Additionally, the price point on a disposable product really is not an incentive. Personally, I would probably keep this on hand only for those times when my period comes at an inopportune time and I wanted some worry-free intimate time with my partner.

But til then, DivaCup still rules my menstrual world <3