#softcup

Before I purchased the Diva, I read some testimonies. Many said it was difficult to get the hang of; however, I figured with my Softcup experience it wouldn’t be that bad, so I set to task.

The principle behind a Softcup and the DivaCup is the same: you fold it, insert it, it catches your menstrual fluid inside the body, and you empty it later. However, where they do this differs slightly. The opening of the DivaCup is much smaller than that of the Softcup because the DivaCup is meant to suction around the cervix (where menstrual fluid leaks from), whereas the Softcup is just meant to sit further down (in the vagina) and catch the fluid there. It’s like catching water from a dipping tap right at the tap itself vs in the sink. Also, Softcups are disposable, whereas DivaCup is reusable.

The DivaCup is made of soft silicone that is roughly the consistency of the hardest part of your ear cartilage. It's more structured than the Softcup, which is essentially just a plastic baggie attached to a Livestrong bracelet. lol. Because the Softcup is more flexible, I found it easier to insert. You kind of have to hook your fingers on the underside of the baggie (”cup”) and pull the lip of the ring forward so that it catches and rests inside, at the edge of your pubic bone. If it’s tilted or not level, including when you sit/lie down/move, it’s more prone to leaks, but since it is a cheaper product, I figured it was a bit of a compromise anyway.  

There is no “hooking” and “catching” with the DivaCup. You fold it, insert, push it back, let go, and the suction holds it in place. You can squeeze it again to re-position/re-suction it, until it’s sealed around your cervix. There are four small air holes under the rim of the cup to make sure the suction can be released (so you don’t have to worry about it getting stuck!).    

The first time I tried it (Day 1 of my period), I was elated that I seemed to “get it” on the first try! Don’t get me wrong - it wasn’t easy or instantly comfortable. I kept checking incessantly throughout the day, to see how full the cup was getting, and/or if I was leaking (I really had no idea about volume or rate of menstrual fluid I was producing because I was used to it all just disappearing into a pad). Each time I tried to reinsert, it seemed to get less and less comfortable, and into a worse position. The stem that you use to pull it out (picture a long stem of a funnel) kept rubbing uncomfortably against my opening. It wasn’t until later, when I read the instructions better, that I saw you could actually cut it shorter to reduce irritation (tip: DO THIS!!!).

One of the major selling points of the DivaCup is that you can wear it for up to 12 hours without the fear of toxic shock syndrome (TSS) that is often associated with long wear and super-absorbent tampons (Note: beware of abrasions during insertion/removal, however, as the staph bacteria that causes TSS can enter the bloodstream this way). It seemed easiest to re-position in the shower, and I wore it to bed that night. The next day when I woke up, I was looking forward to not having to do the morning mad-dash to the loo. (You know the one: dashing to the bathroom for fear of the mega tsunami that will occur as a result of suddenly standing up). There wasn’t the usual monsoon, but there was some leakage, which was somewhat disappointing (thank goodness for the back-up pad!). I initially thought that with the DivaCup, I’d only *maybe* need a pantyliner. NOPE! Especially not when you’re first figuring things out. As with the “Softies”, I was never really sure it was in the right place. Sometimes it *felt* like it was, but I’d leak! Other times, it felt uncomfortable and I was sure it wasn’t in the right place, but it was! It took me a few days to realize that additional manoeuvring and using a finger to feel 360* all the way around (to make sure it was sealed) was almost ALWAYS needed. Just hoping that it will “pop” into the right place (like the instructions say) won’t cut it, no matter how comfortable it feels. Sometimes it stays folded in a kidney-bean shape inside you, without unfolding (e.g. when its not in the right place, and is not around the cervix, but rather in front or behind it). But it NEEDS to open up all the way into “O” shape so that it can fit flush around/against the cervix, and the fluid doesn’t spill over the caved side.

PROS: 

F*cking Freedom!!! Today is Day 3 of my period (a heavy day). I sat through a 3 hour lecture, two 2 hour bus rides, lunch with a friend, and DID NOT LEAK for 9 hours!!! Eventually, I leaked after that. I should have emptied WELL before the 9 hours, but my guy friend was waiting for me outside the loo at the restaurant, and I didn’t want to take it out in a public restroom, and risk either dropping it the toilet OR not being able to put it back in correctly (time & ease of use are definite CONS for a beginner).      

No un-suctioning. With the Softcup, the opening of the ring had a tendency to shift when I sat down. Although I was worried that this would happen with the DivaCup, if it was properly positioned, it didn’t shift.   

No smell. Unlike pads, which can smell like the decaying carcass of some animal (sorry! lol), there is NO smell whatsoever! Seriously! I got all up in that business to check! (Hey! I’m doing this for you, people! lol).

Cleaner feel*. You feel cleaner both because of the lack of smell, and because you don’t have to feel wet fluids against your skin, like a diaper. *However, it is messier on your hands (see: below). 

Saving money. Reusing it will hopefully save me $$$, long term.

Environmentally friendly. I generally like to think of myself as an environmentally conscious person. I recycle, take public transport, reduce water consumption, etc. However, when it comes to my period, I’m NOT f^cking around!! lol. Before, I didn’t really think about how much waste my (plastic) pads were generating because periods were an unavoidable evil and they were a necessity, not a luxury. Besides, you mean to tell me that I’m required to bleed and feel generally shitty for almost a quarter of every damn month until I’m 50, and now you want me to wear some rough, natural hemp, Cherokee hair tampon (South Park reference) bullsh- that costs twice as much, and protects HALF as well??! F^ck you! Luckily, a menstrual cup is a positive solution to cutting waste without having to compromise on protection or comfort.

Fewer Cramps! I know. Before you call “bullsh*t”, hear me out. It seems highly unlikely that the method in which you catch your menstrual blood has anything to do with what’s going on in your uterus. But for some reason my cramps weren’t as bad with the cup! Especially in the first three days (usually the worst). They’re certainly not gone altogether, but there were fewer, and less severe. Maybe it has something to do with the suction against your cervix? Or maybe its the cup forcing the vagina to retain its shape? Not allowing your bowels to kick you from inside? idk. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. 

The Gross factor. This might be a “con” for some people, and maybe I’m just a gross weirdo,  but I find it so incredibly satisfying to see your cup fill up. I don’t know why! Maybe it’s because it has always been kind of a mystery to me before - always disappearing into pads or tampons, but it’s fascinating to see how much your body produces, and see the “blood” so neatly collected in its unadulterated state. When I take out a full cup, I feel like a Druid priestess ready to spill a chalice of blood into the dirt in some primeval ritual (See? I am a weirdo! lol). Joking aside, it did make me more familiar with my period, if that makes sense. It’s no longer disappearing, out of sight, out of mind. You’re forced to confront it.

Easy to clean. I rinsed it whenever I emptied it, if a sink or dedicated water bottle was available, washed it once a day (usually in the shower), with a little mild soap. There is a special DivaWash that you can buy, but I find there’s no need. At the end of my cycle, I got a small pot that I never used for anything else, boiled my cup to sanitize it, dried it, and stored it away until next month in the cute little pouch that came with it!      

CONS:

Time & Ease of use. As a beginner, it's pretty cumbersome to put in at first. On the first day, I spent so much time in the loo adjusting and re-adjusting that both my mother AND my cousin independently remarked how much time I was spending in the bathroom (which is pretty embarrassing). I mean - they’re women too, so they understand, but in general, when people wonder why you’re spending so much time in the bathroom, it’s a THING! haha.

The Confidence Factor. The DivaCup is a bit tricky to get the hang of at first, and until you do, you never feel entirely secure. Expect to use back-up pads. With pads, you can feel whether or not you’re catching fluid (or leaking), but here, you’re letting gravity work, and kind of just hoping (and praying) that the cup in the right place doing its job. To add, sometimes you might think you’re leaking because there’s blood when you wipe or in your underwear. But it could just be the left over blood that has dripped down into the vagina while the cup was removed. It’s NOT free-falling blood. (This frustrated me for a while and I kept reinserting, thinking I was doing something wrong until I figured this out). Two things will happen at first: 1) Either you’ll constantly check to reassure yourself that it’s working, OR 2) You’ll think you’re secure when you’re NOT and will find out the hard way that it’s not in the right place. 

(R’uh r’oh). 

Initial cost. I’m hoping that this will pay for itself in a few months; especially when I get the hang of it and no longer need to wear back-up pads. It’s an investment, and as such, it can be a bit painful (financially) on the front end. However, in the mean time I am currently using two menstrual products (though I don’t have to replace the pads as often). 

Discomfort #1. The first discomfort comes when you insert the Cup. Even when I roll it/squeeze it/fold it into the tiniest folded kidney-bean shape it can go, the Diva is painful. It’s kind of too big for my opening (I know! my *vagine* is a dainty, delicate little treasure that’s only big enough to fit secrets and unicorn smiles. Haha). So I kind of have to force it a little, which hurts. If I tilt it so that I ease it in at an angle, the cup doesn’t pop into the place, so I kind of have to choose between a good fit OR no initial pain (which is no f*cking choice at all!). Before you ask: yes, I’m relaxed when I insert; no, I’m not clenching. Wetting the rim of the cup with water before insertion helps, and you can always re-position it inside later. 

Discomfort #2. The second discomfort, I’ve mentioned, comes from the stem rubbing against the vaginal opening. This is a BIG discomfort! Ideally, the stem is not supposed to touch anything. This is true when you’re standing, and it’s flexible, so it bends when you sit. However, it’s quite long (to allow you to hold it for removal), and it’s ribbed for better grip. Fine. However, this causes it to rub against the lower vaginal opening (aka the fourchette, or frenulum of labia minora). It’s quite irritating & distracting (though less-so, the higher it sits). If you cut the stem, it’s much better, imo.

Discomfort #3. When the cup is TOO full (i.e. brimming), it kind of feels like an ache inside you, like a cramp. I suspect this is from the weight of the full cup pulling down on your cervix. It’s a minor difference your body picks up on. You’ll definitely become more aware of it the more used to it you get, then you'll probably want to hightail-it to the loo, because spillage is imminent! Just don’t let it get too full (if you can help it).

Mess. This is a BIG one too, and it goes hand in hand with the #1 CON on my list: “time/ease of use”. Emptying the cup is a bloody mess! (yes, pun intended. Haha). When I’m at home in my bathroom, or somewhere where there’s a personal sink or water bottle beside me, it’s less of a problem. However, in a public bathroom, it’s a bit of a balancing act. Removing the cup can be messy depending on how full it is when you release the suction, you have to empty the cup into the toilet without spilling, your hands WILL get messy. (No matter how skilled you are, a DivaCup will come for your manicure! There will be blood. Heads up. Wash your hands), you have to try not to drop the cup in the toilet, you have to clean yourself up, and wipe the cup down so that you can reinsert it. It’s less messy if you are able to rinse before re-insertion, otherwise you’re kind of coming at this bloody from both sides, to paint a not so delicate picture. 

Difficulty peeing. After working so hard to get my cup in the right position, I’m not too eager to go through the entire process all over again every time have to pee. Yes, you can pee with the cup in (nbd); however, I found that it takes longer to empty my bladder. My stream is weaker even if I really have to go! It might be because there’s a rigid object physically taking up real-estate where there wasn’t before, pressing against things and thus constricting the flow. But you can always take the cup out to pee too, if you prefer. It’s not a big deal, just worth noting. 

Anatomy. This is not really a CON for me, but I realize it might be for some people, especially those who haven’t really explored their bodies yet. I think everyone should know their bodies, at least from an anatomical perspective. Know the location and function of: your cervix, vagina, vulva, labia (majora and minora), clitoris, urethra, etc. There’s nothing shameful about knowing about your nose or eye! These are parts of your anatomy and physiology too! And a matter of your health! You’d be surprised how many people still don’t know their own equipment. No judgement. BUT if you are the product of a failed sex-ed system, or parents who were too embarrassed to teach you, try to take it upon yourself to get informed. Know what you’re talking about so that people who DON’T own your equipment can’t try to tell you what to do with it (another topic for another day)! I know that not everybody is comfortable with it. I wasn’t when I was younger! For the longest time, nothing went UP, which is why tampons weren’t my favourite! Anyway, with the DivaCup, you definitely have to become comfortable with putting a finger inside your vagina and feeling to make sure things are secure.

 Final Thoughts: 

I had high hopes for the DivaCup. Initially, I (rather naively) believed that it would put an end to ALL of my period woes in the same way that I erroneously thought that “going natural” would free me from bad hair for the rest of my life (HA!). I just traded one set of problems for another. Alas, there are no easy answers! There are pros and cons to everything. This is only my first period with the DivaCup, and as with everything, there’s a learning curve. I suspect it’ll get much easier with time.

I’m not trying to discourage people from using this product. And I’m sorry if I’m making it sound overly complicated. It isn’t, really! I’m just trying to be thorough, and report on my personal experience, so that I can help someone who is thinking of buying it, or who is having the same experiences as I am to know they’re not alone. I’ll just say that it is important to keep trying to find out what works for you. Don’t just use the same products that your mother got you for your first period because it’s familiar! Experiment! Find out if there’s something better! 

Good luck! <3

(Note: This is just my own personal experience. I have no medical expertise, no ties to the company, and did not receive any compensation for writing about these products. I know there are other menstrual cups out there that may work just as well, if not better! Do your research and find out what’s right for you!).

Month two with my Diva: Things are SO much easier! I got the hang of it right away again. I was worried I had forgotten all I had learned the previous month, but I found that I was actually excited for my period to come, just so I could practice (wtf, right?)! You can’t really practice when you’re not on your period because the shape of your uterus changes when your on vs. off your period (it hangs lower), so it’s not really the same shape or fit.  BUT so far:

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TWO MONTH UPDATE:

No accidents.

No leaks. 

Yes, back-up pad... for now (what am I, nuts?!). 

I cut the ENTIRE stem off. Game. Changer. The instructions say an inch or whatever, but f^ck that!  

Tomorrow is day 3 of my period. I might even do just the cup + a liner! Check me out! I like to live dangerously.