Shady Dawn

Your beautiful smile, your voice and embrace

each second in which we spend time just like this 

are the greatest gifts ever created in space 

and mean so much more than simply a kiss 

Though I can‘t give you roses, I‘ll paint just for you 

a white-clouded dawn; golden, orange and blue

and even in the coldest, most deepest of nights

you keep me warm from within, like a ray of sunlight

If I was a dragon you‘d be my treasure 

I‘d fight armies of knights to protect your life

Would you allow me to love you beyond all measure 

I have these four fluffy hair ties that are black, grey, white and violett, so I can wear them as a sort of ace flag bracelet thingy :D

Also, in june we will have a sort of project "week" (it´s only three days) at our school and I don´t know whether I actually get to be in this project but I put a project about diversity (focus is queerness!) at the number one spot on my "wishlist" and I´ll just asume that I´ll land in this project (I won´t act like it´s gonna hit it´s maximum number of participants). We will learn about queer people in our region and then discuss how queerness is already lived at our school and how we can still improve that! If my predictions are correct, this is gonna be a cozy group of queer people and maybe some allies (the project is led by one of my favourite teachers so that is great to) so yayyyyy

Here´s the whole story...

I figured out that I´m ace a few years ago, but until last year I hadn´t really thought about my gender or the fact that I felt weird when I was called a girl. I´ve never felt uncomfortable being AFAB/ adressed as she/her, so it never came to me that I wasn´t a cis female. Sometimes I has thoughts where I was like "being nonbinary would be kinda cool tbh"

Last year around pride month I did a little research on gender identities (only the more common ones though). This is when I came across the demigirl label and thought "well, I´m somewhat female (feminine) but also something else, so this must be me, right?". At that time, I just accepted this as my identity even though I didn´t feel that comfortable using it as a label.

A few weeks ago I came across less common labels, and the gender questioning began again. The label faesari was the one I was most (but not 100 %) comfortable using. This also includes the flag, as I personally dislike the demigirl flag (aestetically) and never felt comfortable using it. I didn´t label myself as faesari though, and was desperately looking for an even better label (that also had a flag that I´m comfortable using).

So...yesterday when I was scrolling though pinterest I found a link to this google document with all kinds of queer identities explained. I went though every FIN gender identity, but none of the labels explained the way I was feeling. (I skipped the MIN labels because I am definitely not male) Today I was like "well, maybe I´m just more nonbinary than feminine" so I went though the NIN labels...and came across the galactian alignments.

I am now using the labels lunarian and artemian.

I like the idea of being romantically attracted to other girls/nonbinary people (which would tecnically make me bi) , but I have never felt anything that I would label as „having a crush on someone“ Don’t ask me about what defines a „crush“. Other people seem to know this by default. I’m not even sure if I could identify romantic attraction even if I felt it.

I’m also unsure about whether I’d like to actually start a romantic relationship in a scenario where I would certainly be romantically attracted to somebody. I don‘t like the idea of mouth kissing/kissing in general , but the idea of being closer to a person in a way of hugging each other often or sth is fine by me though.