This love is infatuation, I placed you in the front and center stage of my life, now my protagonist is gone.
You are experiencing what I could not give you, what I thought you were incapable of, you outgrew me and I overestimated my usefulness.
I don't want an apology, you didn't do anything wrong, I just want a role in the play that is your life, even if it's not the costar, just a small role, a reference , a wink to my involvement during the 1st act, a conclusion for me to exit stage left.
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Everyday I wake up at 6:45am, wash my face, get dressed and eat a bowl of frosted flakes; no milk on my bowl since I don't like mushy cereal. Then I drink a glass of orange juice and one cup of milk, brush my teeth and wait for the bus.
I'm the first kid on the route, and sit behind the driver. As the bus fills up no one willingly sits next to me, everyday is someone new. They all have their buddies and cliches.
School goes fast, second subsidized breakfast, 1st 2nd and 3rd period flash by. The hallways rumble, some slow some fast, some greet, some fight. I go to lunch and meet my friends, group A is an echo chamber but group B is fun to argue with.
The afternoon class periods are a drag and I want to fall asleep,
The bell rings and I head to the bus. I sit behind the driver but this time I'll be the last to get down.
I thank the bus driver and head back inside my house, do homework, chores and play RuneScape, shower and repeat again tomorrow.
It's late, going through old conversations on this site.
Did not have many to begin with, some of these dashboards have not been updated in years.
Could send them a text, but I hardly think they'll reply after 8 years of absence.
Some have changed names, cannot remember who they were. Would like to learn who they are.
A hotdog would be so good right now but I don't want to stand up, I'll just starve 'till sunrise.
I have many manuscripts to transfer to this place, a shout for attention, begging to be noticed, hoping to be chosen.
I close my eyes and feel waves, sinking deeper into the mattress, the world continues to spin, unaware of what I am going through, the world keeps moving, they are moving on too. My troupe disbanded one too many times, and I'm left to hold the big top from collapsing.
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Ok so last time i talked about how sniper and spy canonically don't hate each other and it's actually more bickering and bantering between close people, which you can find here
BUT. Let's do talk about hate. And obsession.
(Because it's fun to interpret ships in various ways and i like every interpretation of them)
This is more of a fanon interpretation so it's more about my own thoughts!
I mentioned this in my last post but i do think hate is an incredibly compelling factor to explore, especially for a relationship between sniper and spy, who probably are the most i've seen be depicted as antagonistic towards each other in the fandom.
Emotions aren't black and white. The definition of hate describes it as an intense and passionate feeling. There's a reason why enemies/rivalry in fiction is known for having chemistry and tension. It's essentially a deep emotional connection with each other. It mirrors the expressions of romantic love/eroticism, albeit in a negative light.
Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. I think there's a lot of potential to explore how and where the line blurs between them and the complicated feelings that come with it.
And with hate comes obsession, they're constantly intruding your mind.
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Ok would you believe me if i said sniper already has the base to build obsession?
Is it casual to sacrifice your organs shutting down just to get back at the enemy? The jarate comic shows this as a lighthearted joke but the idea of being consumed by thoughts to take down and humiliate the enemy spy to the point of taking pills that ruins your internal organs and a tonic to ignore all the pain seems pretty intense??
Mind you the classic sniper also sacrificed his well being and perhaps even his sanity for the enemy spies. It's generational/hj.
They have three corresponding voicelines, spy's voicelines are not sniper exclusive but sniper's are spy specific, using his vocabulary and responding back to him like it's personal.
Mocking spy's dislike of getting blood on his suit, and feeling the need to quip back at him by emphasizing your and adding a wanka like it's a second thought, when he doesn't even disguise/deceive like spy there was no reason for him to say that except to be petty.
Some of you may already know but i Love the scar that was added to sniper's model after meet the spy, i think about it a lot.
Let me be dramatic for a moment.
The whole thing about respawn being revived exactly as you were before(gamewise ofc, i love the respawn glitches hcs) but the fact that canonically there was an exception to that small scar means so much to me. It disrupts the order and the constant clean slate forms they regain after being brutally murdered.
I think it has the potential to be used as motivation or something to hold onto to feel a more intense emotion in this monotonous war. And who's to say that emotion can't be hatred that brings you adrenaline and tension and restlessness and a violent fixation on the enemy spy?
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Hate usually gets muddled with passion, and there's this animalistic rage that comes out when you get so blinded by hate. It turns into a fight between two predatory animals, who scratch and bite at each other with nothing else but the need to put the other down in mind. And that brings a lot of grit to their relationship, it makes them feel raw and gritty.
Take in the fact that they do have opposing views on the matter of assassination and lifestyle, and the disgust they have for each other is more prominent.
The idea of sniper, who's usually nonchalant and in his own words, "a professional", losing his rational side to get back at the snake. And the idea of spy, who carries himself as a composed gentleman, wanting to step on and grind the filthy bushman into the ground, is a really entertaining aspect to explore and expand.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
For adults, the appeal is Sir Patrick Stewart doing a kidās educational bit in full Shakespearean dress and style; thereās a delightful cognitive dissonance between the very serious presentation and the very simple content.
For very small children, itās educational: this is the letterĀ āBā; hereās how itās shaped; hereās some words you know that start with it. Oh, and hereās a word you may not be familiar with that starts with it, so you can recognize that itās the sound that matters, and not whatever other connection you made between the other two words.
For older kids: youāve probably heard thatĀ āto be or not to be?ā speech, or at least part of it, so you can enjoy some of the parody the adults are watching. Also, hereās how to describe how a letter is made - how to teach young siblings who donāt read yet, how to explain both the shape and the sound.
For kids with dyslexia: hereās how you differentiate aĀ āBā from a P or D or E. You may have to go slowly and look carefully at the exact shapes that make up the whole, but there are differences and you can learn to recognize them.Ā
For teens or young college students: In addition to whichever parts of those are relevant to you, hereās what Shakespearean acting sounds like. Hereās how to enunciate clearly and slowly, so your audience can understand terms they may not recognize and still follow the gist of what youāre saying. If youāre reading Shakespeare in school, try sounding it out like this and see if that helps it make sense.
For new RenFaire workers: Hereās how to pronounce āzounds.āĀ