Zombie Apocalypse Temporarily Delayed @sevendeadlyfun - Tumblr Blog

hymnism

making a collection

putridghost

Wait I have more

acemingo

#the collected works

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vintage-tigre

hppjmxrgosg

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

hppjmxrgosg

you shut your mouth.

#doing my part

prof-grace-aspen

Rent-lowering gunshots:

QUEER IS NOT A SLUR

We reclaimed it way back in the 1980's. It is the accepted term used in academia, in colleges and universities ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I can't believe we have to have this discussion AGAIN. During PRIDE month.

#basically yeah #not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you #queerer than a $3 bill

rumade

Going through the pile of books to go to charity shops and there’s this amazing kids history one that’s literally like

Give your friend a neolithic burial

rumade

Exactly

I’m so glad this post is finally reaching the people it was meant for; weird little kids who liked playing history and death

The book also had instructions for making a paper replica of a mammoth bone/hide hut 🦣 🛖 and I was never allowed to take over the living room and do it

freenarnian

Reblog to give your mutuals a neolithic burial 🦴🌼⚱️🗡️

magicratfingers

If you really loved me you’d give me a neolithic burial

#me me me

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stuckinapril

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

stuckinapril

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

#December 2010 #LJ refugee #same account since forever #and the only social media I still have

mostlysignssomeportents

"Spending money makes a CEO look busy. And at a time when there were no other potential growth avenues, AI was a convenient way to make everybody look busy."

-Ed Zitron, "NVIDIA Isn't Enron - So What Is It?"

gooenthusiast

It really is just 3-8 mega corporations moving a couple (semi-) imaginary billions between each other for ai-software and data sets and ram, with boardroom members pocketing hundreds of millions each in stock & bonuses that they will only hoard and never ‚re-invest‘ into the economy.

#this is a very good read #I learned things

anneriawings

OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?

I JUST

GUAM?

phantomrose96

IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM

KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST

“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID

anneriawings

12/27, 8:37PM CT

ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM

anneriawings

12/28, 12:18PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***

anneriawings

12/28, 10:22PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY

GO COOKIES GO

@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY

anneriawings

lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and

anneriawings

12/30, 12:39AM CT

@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper

holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE

phantomrose96

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

anneriawings

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

anneriawings

COOKIES ACQUIRED

homebeccer

THE THRILLING CONCLUSION

also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey

anneriawings

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

anneriawings

SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????

AND

IT’S

IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-

I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED

phantomrose96

Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks

Its not even an in-game feature

crowreys-wormstache

Oh my god it’s back

anneriawings

H O W

anavar-immela

I’ve had this sort of thing happen.

At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.

phantomrose96

I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”

No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.

I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.

sharkgal4

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

offonaherosjourney

Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP

korasonata

Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.

You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.

rhube

It’s an old post, sir, but it checks out.

#ancient song of my people

natalieironside

Have you tried just channeling your instincts to appease into BDSM instead of letting them inform your political philosophy?

If you really just have a deeply ingrained need to be in a hierarchical space and give respect to ppl u call ur superiors, like. Hi. We can do that for you. I know some people.

thelovers-thedreamers-and-me

if you really want to lick boots we can make that happen but with better boots

naamahdarling

We have flavored boot polish.

thebibliosphere

And snacks for after.

natalieironside

And snacks for after!

#every kink space is well catered #idk why but its true #the snacks are almost as important as the sex

vamplire

i love you vampires. i love you gothic horror. i love you unsettling themes. i love you religious imagery. i love you doomed narratives. i love you rot and decay.

#yes yes yes #me almost all the time

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quinnception

#the jokes write themselves

beetlewoman

it's all because we stopped worshipping female deities

#basically yeah #old gods lean in close

dragon-in-a-fez

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

#me almost all the time

jackabbot

Do you ever think it's coming back? All that shit from the '90s? We were despised, but you read the stuff online now, it sounds just the same. Do I think it's coming back? Yeah. It's back, you fucking idiot. Right now, it's here.

TIP TOE • 1.01

#this makes me cry #i remember how hard we fought #the marches #the petitions #the fucking fist fights #and they’re right #the fuckers just waited #I’m so mad and sad for all the beautiful kids i knew #who grew up fighting and will have to fight til we die #not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you

shamebats

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

sundae-meringue

True crime girlies will be like "wtf I would never go for a walk at night, what if the hash slinging slasher gets me" and then use their knees to merge with no turn signal in front of a semi while applying makeup with both hands

#omg dead #real issue tho #i drive in the southern of these United States #and not a single person has ever learned to drive not once

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