What We Need Now Is a Little Guy - Commissions Open!

Thank you, lady 🤗

The Nigerian accent. God. She reminds me of home...

Always grateful when this makes the rounds

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

you have IBS.

Didn’t anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.

We love the character development

Answering "I don't know" is a level of self awareness a lot of people never attain

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

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