Seriuosly Strange-r Things

for @shieldofiron

i can photoshop but too ill to do it BUT warner bros made a generator

So she wants to switch majors and she does but she doesn’t say anything to Jason or to her parents, because her parents are still footing the bill at least for the next four years. It’s hard for her to go to classes and for Jason to not know anything but he’s so far up his own but about everything that he doesn’t really notice her doing her own thing. What he doesn’t notice are the new friends that she makes that are rather alternative and he’s disapproving of that. Let’s see if this happens year three, so year three she’s willing to doing her own thing but she has to hide her classes, she has her own group of secret friends because of course. And Jason ends up finding out, after three years of his girlfriend is majoring in studying insects. He’s disgusted, he tells her it’s weird, he tells her that no wife of his, and she reminds him that they are not even engaged.

And he goes tattling to her mother on the phone, her father is a spineless weenie and doesn’t stand up for her and her mother tells her either you drop that major or we’re going to stop paying for classes. Well after she had the argument with Jason she realized that there was no way her parents were not gonna know what she was actually doing, or not know who her friends were, so she had already vacated the apartment that his folks were paying for him and her, she went through her bank account and took out all the money before her parents could remove what she had in there, and she moved in with one of her alternative friends. And I say alternative I just mean doing their own thing and being different.

And she continues her studies. Her parents tell her they’ll stop paying for college and that’s fine because she just wind up getting a job, things are much more difficult but she is actually learning about things that she is interested in as she finds if she has a passion for it. Jason continues to try to schmooze her, he tries to get her jealous but the more he does that the more turned off and angry she becomes because of his audacity. So she ignores him, her roommate tells him to get fucked and never let him in the apartment that sort of thing. And it’s not hard because I would imagine the apartment she lives in somebody would have to be buzzed inside.

Oh! It's etymology!

Etymology. She’s studying etymology, she loves what she’s doing she’s finally doing her own thing. And screw everyone else and she succeeds in it. She doesn’t care that when she visits back home that her friends that or should I say former friends who are not really her friends in high school all came back home after college because that’s what the plan was. Even Jason is back, years later with some emaciated knock off version of Chrissy and instead of feeling bad about being known as the bug girl she wears it with pride. Because Tracy who always vied for her position in the squad has like five kids, and hates her husband obviously, because Andy, who is best friends with Jason wears his cap to hide the fact that he has a receding hairline, because Jason came back and he’s coaching for the basketball team, and works part time and his dad‘s business, they can say whatever they want they conformed and are doing exactly what their parents set out for them and Chrissy finally decided to do her own thing. And you better believe that in her swanky apartment wherever she’s living that’s not in Indiana she has a big room. Her office where she does all of her research and everything it’s all hooked up.

“I wrote an article.”

“That’s nice dear.” Her mother says in the most stuffy tone. “So I hear that Jason’s divorce was finalized today.”

“Who?”

“Jason. Jason Carver, Chrissy. You remember him, of course.”

“Oh. Mom it’s been fifteen years why would I remember him?”

Goes on to talk to her dad about the article and about a new species of spider found in the Amazon while her mother destroys a dinner roll in her fist in anger.

college professors: 

Facebook brain poisoning: I guess anyone that old should know better but like that shit is deliberate. They're victims.

bruce wayne, drunk as hell, wanting to go home from a gala: hey dick, you can drive right? 14 year old dick whose experience from driving is a plastic kids' car: yeah sure i can

eddie: how about you stop and think if you’d be capable of loving me back if you were a worm. what if you fell in love with another worm

chrissy:

“Like is he better than me or something?”

“Of course not! I love you, Eddie not some stupid worm!”

“Then why ask me to start with?!”

Meanwhile, everyone else.

“God they’re so annoying.” Steve rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know, Harrington. Same question, would you still love me?” Billy asks with a grin.

Steve takes too long to answer and now there are two stupid couples arguing and crying over a stupid question about worms.

Dustin sighs and follows Robin and the rest of the party out of Eddie’s trailer.

Stobin friendship is everything when you realize it’s just two dumbasses stumbling about life like uncoordinated giraffes.

Robin: -and that is what bisexuality means. Which, I mean, come one Steve, I literally just spelled this out to you.

Steve: huh…I’m bisexual.

Robin: Yes! See! *double thumbs up* You’re owning it!

Steve: I’m bisexual and I…I think I’m in love with Billy Hargrove.

Robin: EW WHY?!

They rent an apartment in Chicago that Steve’s dad is footing the bill for under the impression that Steve and Robin are a couple. (Both Steve and Robin high five for their good luck because it is a nice as hell apartment. They high five again. Nancy calls them idiots.)

Robin: So…how about this tie? This is good right?

Steve: *elevator eyes of bitchy judgment* Lose the suspenders.

Robin: But this is my, uh, thing, Steve.

Steve: I know. And how many dates have you had while fiddling with…your uh, thing?

Robin: *runs back into her room* What about the tie?

Steve: Kill it with fire! You know what-no, wait. Before you pull out that ugly ass jean blazer and those clown shoes.

*chases after her*

*much screaming and struggling before Robin comes storming out dressed adorably and comfortably, she slams out of the apartment chased by Steve*

Johnathan, who is visiting: …what the hell was that?

Nancy and Eddie who live across the hall but raid Steve and Robin’s fridge constantly, who are also super platonic just not as chaotic, shrug.

Robin: Steve, no.

Steve: Steve, yes. *swaggers across the bar towards Billy-*

*-nearly trips over stray bottle cap on floor*

*-catches self but chokes on gum*

Robin: The fact that Hargrove is going to come home with him regardless causes me so much pain.

Eddie: Really? It’s not the fact that Hargrove is going to come home with him, to the place where you know, you live where you’ll have to hear probably all of that unless you find some chick to go home with but with your dry spell *sips Pina-Colada from silly straw, side eyes her*

Robin: Fuck you Munson.