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I asked the emperor undying for guidance and he did not answer for he has more important business to attend to. Fortunately I am a true believer and in his name and authority I'm going to confiscate those fucking keys
Its probably for the best that Silas considered the concept of the Lyctoral process to be heresy, because if that boy had gotten to meet the God he spent in his life in solemn devotion to the force released by the breaking of his faith would have extinguished Dominicus like a candle on a birthday cake
Tamsyn Muir: “Here's a series about how a man's vindictiveness dooms the universe, all because his trauma left him incapable of believing in forgiveness over vengeance. As contrast, the protag in the first book reflects something closer to divinity by extending her abuser grace so that she can repent and change, and the protag of the third book begs her brother to not flatten a planet in revenge after having experienced forgiveness.”
too many TLT fans: “yass can't wait for my girlies to kill God!!!”
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ok but imagine if john met a blood of eden member and they had the stereotypical boe name (quote + anthem + song lyrics) and john is ofc acting rlly smug and pretentious like ooh you dont know the actual history behind that haha im immortal lol but hes internally panicking bc he doesn't know the song lyrics and he thinks oh ill just google it but he ate google along with the rest of the world and it drives him crazy bc hes meant to be the arbiter of all lost human culture BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THIS ONE SONG THINGS EXIST OUT OF HIS VIEW AND MAKING HES NOT GOD AFTER ALL. imagine that. itll make your day better promise
I love the Anastasia and Alecto were together theory because it insinuates John knew about it (whether or not they told him). That man seeing someone else take his Barbie must have sent him into the universes biggest crash out and that's why we're here.
i see a lot of fanart etc of gideon where she is drawn as a very big and tall person and like yeah, valid and cool interpretation but like. consider. perhaps gideon is mostly perceived as so big because harrow is really tiny. like these ppl have been living in basically caves for thousands of years. maybe gideon is like 5’7 but harrow is only like 4’10. maybe gideon is 5’4 and harrow is 5’2 and gideon only rlly appears huge because she swings swords and harrow is a twig. yk?
ah, but see, Gideon is an inch taller than Babs, who is "not a short young man". If Babs is of average height for a man (and all we know is he isn't shorter than average, he could very well be a bit taller), Gideon would have to be significantly taller than the average woman. #babsforscale
(we can assume that Gideon is under 6' though, through doing some math around the Tridentarii)
I would be so fucking happy if we started using Babs as a scale for everything else in the TLT universe. The size of the cavaliers? Use #babsforscale. The size of the Erebos? #babsforscale. The depth of Drearburgh? #babsforscale. How big is Varun? Well, here's #babsforscale.
xD But genuinely, yeah a few things I use in addition to that bit about Babs vs Gideon and Babs vs the Tridentarii:
Colum has a whole fucking head on Ianthe (possibly give or take, this is said while they're mid combat so it could be a rough thing)
Pro is the tallest at Canaan House by a noticeable margin
Harrow struggles to touch the bottom of the pool, slipping fully under at first. Joli struggles to believe Nona is more than 14 at most, Hot Sauce (who is 14) has an easier time passing for an adult than Nona, and Harrow's compared to Jeannemary multiple times. When they dress Nona as Harrow they have to borrow clothes from "the smallest Blood of Eden member they could find" and then cinch those tight to keep them from falling off.
Muir in the tumblr post describes the twins as taller than even Palamedes, who Gideon describes as tall, though Corona has half a head on Babs "and a full head if you counted her hair" while having half a head counting her hair on Palamedes, which to me implies "half" is rough and she's only a tiny bit taller.
Ianthe has well over a head on Harrow.
Among some other bits. So absolutely these are all loose ideas for scale and you could scale them up or down, make some closer or farther apart, etc; this isn't definitive by any means. But some personal headcanons based on that info and on "hehe numbers are fun" for the fine-tuning are:
Babs - 5'8" (roughly average amab height)
Gideon - 5'9" (inch taller than Babs; hehe 9)
Harrow - 4'9" (TINY but not quite SO tiny you'd expect it to be way more emphasized; hehe 9)
Twins - 6'1" (plus ~3-4 inches of volume for Corona's hair)
Palamedes - 6'0" (so 4-5 inches "shorter" than Corona counting her hair; hehe 6)
Colum - 6'8" (7 inches taller than Ianthe; an average 'head' is 8-9 inches so still very close; hehe 8)
Pro - 7'0" (hehe 7; I also think 7'7" and built like that would be hilarious but probably pushing believability atp. xD Also Gideon describes him as "6 feet of sinew" at one point so I choose to believe that's roughly his height to the shoulder, not counting neck and head)
---
The other #forscale character we have is Augustine, who's canonically 6'0" even and the only character we've directly met with a specific canon height. The fact that he's very tall is the second thing Harrow notices about him so that gives us an idea that averages haven't changed much if any over time in this universe. So just to rapidfire some more thoughts, John is noticeably shorter than Augustine even while kneeling; G1deon is described as very imposing but only via his bulk, never described as super tall; Mercy is short enough to press her face into John's chest at the end seemingly easy enough. So for the rest of the Mithraem, I like to imagine:
John - 5'8½" (still within Average; 5/8/1/2 for him and his three closest people hehe; also half an inch shorter than Gideon as a treat)
G1deon - 5'10" (barely above/upper end of average, shorter than Augustine
Mercy - 5'3" (which is dead average for afabs yet frequently perceived as "short" and I feel like it'd be fitting for her to be so eternally fucking exhausted by this)
Bonus points: Ianthe being the tallest person on the Mithraem, if only barely. Mercy having dealt with people "looking down on her" (literally) for so long and then Harrow's tiny ass comes along and rather than defend her she's like finally lmao.
"Magnus was also laid out on his own slab, a little too tall for comfort" (ch 33)
Depending on what we assume standard dimensions for mortuary slabs are in the Houses, Magnus would also seem to be tall.
He and the Sleeper are apparently also of a similar height, though the Sleeper is apparently not of "any great height or breadth" (though that might just be that she's human sized and not some kind of monster, given the context). But we can maybe say Wake was taller than John, contributing to Gideon's height.
Mandatory observation that the Body is described as a little shorter than Jod, meaning—if Harrowhark's visions match her memory of the Body in the Tomb, and if said memory is correct, which given her anatomical knowledge it probably is—that Alecto is around, say, 5'5?
I find it very telling that Tamsyn Muir, who came up through this hellsite, wrote books where the evil emperor starts out as a basically okay leftist millennial tumblr user.
What makes the villain the villain (inasmuch as it's useful to examine TLT characters through that kind of simplistic lens) is that when the chips are down and he has to choose, his priority is punishing the wicked, not saving the people left behind.
I would invite anyone whose engagement with their cause consists of finding the 'correct' group of people to hate, to consider whether 'evil emperor' is the next career move you see yourself taking, and if it isn't, to gently suggest disembarking from the hate train.
Because no one wants their God King to be a tumblrina called John.
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My new ADHD med isn't doing shit be I was gonna take a shower and then I saw someone call Jod Wake and the Lyctors a "six person polycule" and got in my head about whether they're one hexacule or two throuples and spent three fucking hours making this:
I'm either the only person engaging with these books correctly or not getting it at all
Jod wiritng J+E in heart and then erasing the E and writing an AL and then erasing the AL and writing an H might qualifies him to be in this mess, but then I would have to include Augustine and Mercimorn, and at that point I'd feel obligated to add in Cytherea and Gideon the First, and that would force me to add in Commander Wake and Pyrrha, which drags in Camila and Palamedes and Paul, and if I'm doing Palamedes should I loop in Dulcinea? This series is so much
Agott: I’ve never heard my mother say the word proud. It’s always like “Oh that’s it? That’s all you’ve done?” If I went to the moon, honestly, she would be like, “When are you going to Mars?”
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Some dumb lyctor polycule ancient history headcanons (+ canon interpretation rambling) like five people will care about but still
-
John is quoiromantic bisexual and A— was aromantic bisexual. They met earlier, maybe like grad school ("he could have gone anywhere, but he stayed with me"), and became very close affectionate friends with benefits. M— was straight ("was"; Mercy over time shifted to be masc-leaning bi; I'm still sorry I know this is my hottest take) and when she came along as an expert for the cryo project, both the guys went "oh hot damn wow." Then they talked to her for five minutes outside of business and A— went "fucking yikes nevermind" and John went "OH HOT DAMN WOW."
John and M— got closer over time and it was Very Different than his relationship with A—. Not better or worse, but different, which made A— and M— resent each other all the more. John and A— had never wanted to put a label on things, but A— was still pretty jealous and it still felt weird to John to consider dating someone, and listen the communication was messy and not ideal but it did happen, and this led to John and A— reclassifying each other as real "partners" (albeit still platonic ones) around the same time John and M— started dating. (Everyone consenting despite the conflict.)
In A—'s mind, M— was devaluing his relationship with John just because it was platonic and acting like she was better. In M—'s, A— was being a whiny pissbaby to act like he had dibs when he wasn't even in love with the man. Both of them were in fact being petty judgmental bitches who eventually grew to respect the other's bond but always thought of their own attraction style as superior. ("You never loved him as much as I did...") Basically A— was convinced his yellow cake was more pure and simple while M— thought her fancy extra icing vanilla cake showed more effort and devotion and John was over here going !!! TWO CAKES :D
(Un)Fortunately A— and M— were both extremely stubborn and competitive and it wasn't JOHN'S fault the other was insufferable, I mean maybe it was a little bit for having bad taste, but like, they cared very deeply about and wanted to be with him so they weren't gonna push him away, that'd be stupid. And okay MAYBE the other's intellect was at least admirable and it got kind of impressive that neither gave up and maybe they get to a point where they actively enjoy being catty bitches who can consistently match each other's wit. Maybe they start to notice John hates it when they fight "too" much but also really likes it when they fight over him if they do it right, and maybe they've realized through work that they do synergize really well whether they like it or not, and maybe sometimes it's fun to conspire to make him really really flustered.
Maybe John is incredibly endearing as a person and his brilliance and passion for the project and for helping people in general never fails to blow either of them away, and they're both so inspired by him that they'd follow him anywhere, but he is also more devoted to the job than to either of them and not really the most attentive person in a relationship. And maybe they don't mind that but they do like how intensely they can get the other's attention even if it's technically negative and it's exciting and unfortunately the other has always been really attractive and God dammit they're fucking about this aren't they.
They both feel horrible after the first time and expect John to feel betrayed but it's actually super fucking embarrassing how excited he is about it. Like not even in a "maybe now we can do threesomes" way (I mean that's not a NON-factor just not the main one), but because !!! LET'S GO you see it you understand I TOLD both of you the other was great. He'd tease them both so much at first. I'd say fully the vibe of "you like Krabby Patties, don't you Squidward?" but it's John and it was probably just directly that reference at least some of the time.
Also listen he's self-aware enough to realize he's not an ideal partner and whatever they wanna do with each other takes that much more pressure off him so?? this is a win-win all around in his eyes. (Maybe that's not exactly 100% true and in the back of his mind he is just a little paranoid they'll end up only wanting each other and leaving him, but 99.9% of that is stamped out with a bit of time to prove they still care about him. The 0.1% lasts for eternity until the night of the murder but still.)
For a while A— and M— both softened quite a bit, still constantly fought and both adamantly agreed this didn't make them partners, but it got to a point it was like 60% doing a bit. Still a significant amount of very real getting on each other's nerves but they're kinda sadomasochistic about it now, and they also really deeply respect and value each other. Their routine looks ridiculous from the outside but it becomes deeply comfortable to the three of them, and while John still wishes they'd tone it down a little more, overall all three of them reach a point it's difficult to imagine things any other way.
And then the project gets shut down and John made a scapegoat as an excuse to do it. M— breaks down crying, and John goes numb instead even though part of him feels all the worse for not being able to cry with her, but A— does, and they're both determined to stay with John no matter what, and he's so infinitely grateful for them.
(For G— and C— too. C— comes as a surprise to him, and she'd been a lovely person to work with before but skyrockets up his special people list because she stays. G— has been his favorite person in the universe for years and still is, even if A— and M— now share that title with him. Incidentally John would have at any point dated G— in a heartbeat if G— was remotely interested Like That, but he wasn't and that was also fine, it didn't actually make much difference to John as long as he could keep him close in some capacity.)
And then John has magic apparently and shit gets worse and worse and worse and worse and then John watches M—'s best friend shoot herself and in a moment of desperation catches her soul and becomes aware of earth's. And half from the trauma of witnessing that, half from the sheer overload of awareness he's suddenly processing, he walks around mostly dissociated, mechanical, watching people drop like flies and pluck, pluck, plucking each of their souls, idly wondering at how it seems like everyone is fighting because of him yet doesn't even seem to notice him now. And he's so numb, almost watching from outside his body, but then A— and M— are there dragging him behind the table and holding his hands so tight that it pulls him back to himself just a little. A— cries about how John was one of the best things in his whole life, they both were, and M— repeats like a mantra that they're together, they'll go together, at least they're together. A— in a stupid moment tells them both to run and tries to play distraction, but is shot dead. A moment later, John is ripped away from M— and in her final moments begs them to please just take John alive, and they shoot her too.
And "this is the part where I hurt you." John fully snaps and acts in fear and desperation as much as rage. He can fix it, he knows he can, he has to, he's sure he can figure out how. He just needs this all to stop, needs everything to stop, needs to make sure this never happens again, needs the bastards responsible to pay. They'll ruin anything they touch no matter where they go and they deserve to die, and if he dies here then who's left with the power to fix anything? He can fix everything, he can, he can, he just needs more power. C— always said he had to choose between salvation and retribution but he doesn't, it's both, the power from their deaths can help him fix it right? It's just so hard to think, the earth itself is screaming and screaming, he needs it to stop, needs everything to stop so he can think and figure out how to fix it.
But actually no in the time it took you to read that last paragraph everything already happened so fast and there are already nukes going off and it's not enough and he's tripping over bodies as he runs outside and falls to the earth and tries to eat it and can't. He's vomiting from grief and exertion and the dirt he's shoveling in his mouth. And he finally realizes he's gonna need a vessel, and in the course of a second thinks if he's doing this to her he should at least make her new form perfect, and his idea of perfect is being 7 years old playing with mum's old dolls.
And then they slip through his grasp anyway, and it's just him, and Alecto, and all these souls he snatched up, and the fear that no one will ever laugh at his jokes again, that if he was wrong about being able to figure out how to put them back together he'll just be stuck like this for eternity.
Thankfully he does! He can Fix It so it's Fine and it Definitely Didn't Matter. It matters so little and he's so totally fine with it and definitely feels he doesn't deserve blame at all but you know let's make sure to erase everyone's memories of what happened just in case. Turns out it requires a new name to have a new life but he can just alter their memories so they believe they've always had those too.
He could alter anything about them, really, could make Augustine and Mercymorn crazy about each other and make them the happiest triad there's ever been... but no, he does not want that, he wants them, as close to what they were as he can make them. He does not like change and this is already so much. At the very least he wants his same friends and partners at his side helping figure out all these changes with him.
And then he fails to account for how much time alone will change them eventually...
Augustine gripping Mercy by the shoulders, insisting there is only one possible way to distract John, who eats peanuts at military meetings and is a canonical Tumblr user, and they both know what it is
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