remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

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whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

me about any album I’m listening to at any given moment: holy shit. This may be The Album of All Time

saw someone post "I don't understand why anyone would have separate 'winter tires' unless they're just looking for things to spend money on" and looked at her account and she's from LA. which is funny but I think we're all guilty of similar behavior sometimes. if you see people spending time and effort on something that seems stupid to you it's worth considering whether you're the Californian in this scenario

If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie