A juvenile bug isn't called a larva until it reaches the surface. While it's still underground it's called a margma
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi

JBB: An Artblog!

titsay
Acquired Stardust
todays bird
🪼

⁂
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Not today Justin

Product Placement
RMH

pixel skylines
cherry valley forever
Jules of Nature
$LAYYYTER
styofa doing anything

seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
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@septemberandlye
A juvenile bug isn't called a larva until it reaches the surface. While it's still underground it's called a margma

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in a way john watson is a fantasy (what if you had this brilliant enigmatic friend and what if he liked you in particular and what if he offered you the excitement of youth and adventures and a way out of boring society life and all without having to actually give up your status as a gentleman so you could have the best of both worlds) and in a way sherlock holmes is a fantasy (what if someone never got tired of you despite your various strange habits and mood swings and instead of simply tolerating you they genuinely liked you and what if you didn’t have to live alone forever and what if you never had to give up doing the things you love) and of course there’s the most fantastical part of it all (what if you could afford london housing prices)
Only day you can rb this
This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far
Why are people now saying "LARP" when they mean "poser". It's confusing.
Everyone is always parroting The Buzzword Of The Month without actually knowing what it means or where it comes from, make it stop
Kinda like how "POV" went from "(implied first person) Point Of View" to "there is a video"
watching a video on brewing Mesopotamian beer and look at this orange man (his ass cannot guard the barley)

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GO TO THE HELL I DONT WAKE YET AND I DONT SLEEP WELL
harsh words from one of the muppet babies
For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.
this is not a mistranscription, as some of them are on this account!
Prosper Fagot (probably pronounced with a silent t since Prosper is mostly used in France or French families as a first name), age 45, lived in Dawson, Nebraska in 1900, with his wife Sophy (age 40) and teenage children Clay, Pearl, and Millie
In another life im a green summer dress hanging on a clothing line somewhere sunny

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“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“
“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“
“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”
“Cave Johnson here, Cave Johnson queer. Get used to it.”
“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”
“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”
“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”
“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”
“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”
Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”
“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”
“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”
“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”
“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”
“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“
“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”
”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“
“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”
“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”
“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”
“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”
“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Cave Johnson here. You already know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about gender affirming care. We’ve been at the forefront of hormone replacement therapy since before we knew what these hormones do. You also know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about not getting sued. So everyone be quiet about our role in the Estrogen Cola disaster.”
“Cave Johnson here. So far, we received 832 submissions to our Homophobia Remover design competition. Unfortunately, 829 had to be disqualified for being a schematic of a gun. Objectively hilarious, but not what we’re looking for. Wait, the lab boys just got another submission: and… it’s another gun. Keep at it, folks.”
“Cave Johnson here. Using a set of genetically identical triplets and a molecular combinizer, we just proved scientifically that being bisexual isn’t the same as being half-straight and half-gay. Now we just need to figure out how to separate Craigstopher back into his component brothers.”
Catastrophize Benedictine
Forgetful Ice Cream Sandwich
Executive Dysfunction Cake n’ Ice Cream
Unfocused Cereal
sensitive rice
Migraine Grits
Distraction Donut.
Leg-Jiggle M&Ms
Panic Cheese
Dread Tiffin
Despair Mint
Insomnia Lucky Charm
Deterritorialization Strawberry
Lethargy sandwich
Constant Stress Salmon
Anxiety Iced Tea
Anxious Apple Juice goes hard
or Dissociation Rice if we’re being real specific about the food part
Mood Swings Red Bull
@counting-horses please let at least one of these be real
This post contains 52 horses (84.9% of the post)
🐎 @hthrrloooo
Catastrophize Benedictine
[Image]
🐴 @dumbthinmint
Forgetful Ice Cream Sandwich
🍎 @viostormcaller
Executive Dysfunction Cake n’ Ice Cream
♞ @isa-ghost
Unfocused Cereal
𓃗 @everyone-loves-purple
sensitive rice
♞ @andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels
Migraine Grits
🐎 @snarklordofthesith
Distraction Donut.
🥕 @jadelyn
Leg-Jiggle M&Ms
🎠 @moniquill
Panic Cheese
🥕 @elodieunderglass
Dread Tiffin
🦄 @spaceshipoftheseus
Despair Mint
🦄 @thelawfulchaotic
Insomnia Lucky Charm
🎠 @syinthome-kaleidoscope
Deterritorialization Strawberry
🦄 @barely-an-artist
Lethargy sandwich
🥕 @randomfruit666
Constant Stress Salmon
🎠 @cedar-is-a-nerd
Anxiety Iced Tea
🥕 @consumerofshorthomies
Anxious Apple Juice goes hard
or Dissociation Rice if we’re being real specific about the food part
♞ @theboredvoid
Mood Swings Red Bull
♞ @starving-little-orphan-boy
@counting-horses please let at least one of these be real
Posts are selected by humans, processed automatically and queued to post. Click the link for more information about each horse. You can send a link or text to be counted to my ask box.
I always want historical inspiration pages to be full of factual information and beautiful photography, but 90% of their posts are under researched joke photographs, outright photoshop, and captions like “in the 1800s, women in every country could only eat expired dates during Christmas because their husbands had full rights to the dinner goose. ;(”
“Victorians reproduced via the husband pleasuring himself into a silver cup while thinking about the abstract concept of his wife’s ankles, which he had never seen before because she was a Proper Lady.”
“the Seed-Urn, as it was called, would then be carried by an illiterate, nameless servant covered in soot and horse manure into the wife’s bedroom, where she stood completely immobilized by her corset and long skirts. she would then be artificially inseminated by a doctor, while he used a vibrator to get her off as a free bonus hysteria treatment”
“after that, she was promptly returned to the asylum, having been committed there for being theoretically aware of the alphabet. her husband prayed for four hours to be forgiven his sin of ankle-lust, and then reminded their 27 existing children that he did not love them. just in case they forgot"
“also everyone involved was secretly dead the whole time”
I FOUMDH IT
Regular Couple
this ended homophobia
happy pride month
Psych is such a weird show bc in a lot of ways it's constantly asking, "can you forgive your father? even tho he could never forgive you, can you forgive him?" and the thing he could never forgive you for was not meeting his exact very specific expectations. And the answer keeps being yes you can, because not doing so is worse. You tried and it hurt more. You tried and it made you more miserable. You forgive him because he's all you have most of the time, and its somehow less complicated than whatever you have going on with your mom. You can forgive him but you can't forget, and then one day he realizes that he was wrong and there was nothing he should have taken as a slight about you, but you both just never acknowledge this paradigm shift in your relationship bc it'd be more awkward then fighting again for the millionth time. So things get better but you never say why, you never acknowledge it unless forced and somehow you forgive him more than your mom who you were never even half as mad at.
But also it's about breaking and entering into sea world and making a janitor think you killed your best friend so you can escape, it's about gaslighting your coworkers into thinking you are the dumbest man alive, it's about only closing a mystery when it's as funnt as possible and making sure everyone else around you is as baffled as possible. It's about childhood and nostalgia and growing up in the most chaotic way you can. It's about people being killed with a t-rex skull, it's about slapstick and committing to the bit and being the silliest messiest bisexual on tv in 2006-2014.
It's about a son and his father and forgiveness and somehow also they are in a circus tent trying to find out why a corpse was launched from a cannon. And also there's an extended musical episode that makes it onto my personal Spotify year after year

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btw if i see one post about anne frank’s sexuality from goyim this month i will start swinging
Isn't it lucky for non-Jews that she died before she could answer that question one way or the other and now they have a perfect little Jewish corpse to play with like a paper doll 🥰🥰🥰
Anne didn't want anyone to read those pages, she glued the pages together to make sure they were her secrets, she was murdered knowing those were still secrets that only she knew.
Restorers carefully separated the pages and her secrets were published in later editions with the permission of her father Otto Frank. She was young and didn't know what these feelings meant about her, she was a Jewish girl who was murdered so near the beginning of her life that she never had the opportunity or privilege to draw her own conclusions about herself.
Anne Frank's questions about herself don't belong to anyone but Anne Frank.
just a quick fact check re: anne gluing pages together. while anne did glue brown paper over some sections in her diary, these sections contained information about “sexual matters,” including sexual intercourse, menstruation, prostitution, and jokes about sex. in 2016, the anne frank house discovered these passages and restored them + detailed their findings to the public. as far as i can glean from reading articles about this discovery, these passages didn’t describe her sexuality.
however, other sections definitely did—and it’s most likely that otto frank, her father, omitted them in early published editions. anne frank herself was rewriting a new version of her diary for publication; when otto frank helped edit her diary, he included passages from both her own edited and unedited sections.
regardless of semantics here, the through line remains the same: anne frank herself did not ultimately choose which parts of herself to share with the world and which to keep private. otto frank did the best he could to both honor her memory & respect her privacy when omitting passages. (it’s also not hard to determine why either otto or anne might have omitted sections about her attraction to girls in their own respective edits).
furthermore, she did not get the chance to explore an lgbt identity because nazis murdered her for being jewish. that’s the point all comments above & in the tags reiterate and why we’re really tired of lgbt goyim focusing on these sections from her diary—anne frank may be a historical figure now, but she was once a regular young girl who died young because of antisemitism. the least you can do to honor her memory is refrain from speculating about an aspect of her identity she was prevented from exploring & claiming.
regarding the goyische appropriation of anne frank in general, i highly recommend all goyim (and jews) to read this article by dara horn:
Why did we turn an isolated teenage girl into the world’s most famous Holocaust victim?
when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)
anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.
i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”
and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.
“What?” i say.
“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.
I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.
oh no is this what we’re doing now
…relic…
*crumbles and blows away on the wind*