Safety first, Safety second, Coolness third

me immediately after hanging out with someone: was i Weird and Cringe. do i need to be imprisoned

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

watching a lot of anime and highschool dramas as a kid made me really believe 'student council' would be a bigger problem in my life.

never met a sentence i couldn't make incredibly long

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’m at home sitting down

Why do all minotaurs in media have nipple rings. Who's piercing their nipples. and How do I qualify for this job.

Msg literally stands for Makes Shit Good so why would you not want it

Magic she gathering