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A) i was a church organist

"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.

I get in the dumps at times, and don’t open my mouth for days on end. You must not think I am sulky when I do that. Just let me alone, and I’ll soon be right.

#naruto#naruto shippuden#uchiha itachi#uchiha sasuke#hoozuki suigetsu#honestly. itachi deserves this#presumably the duos are all cellmates in this au#obviously nagato and konan are terrorists and kakuzu is in for tax evasion and/or being a loan shark. maybe other money crimes too#most people assume kisame has an assault or murder charge but he's actually in there for high treason#or he would be if that was still a thing in japan but since it isn't he's officially in there for insurrection instead#that said he DOES have a body count. that's just not what he's in for. the world is truly built on lies....#deidara got sent to juvie for a bomb threat. and then made a bomb in juvie and got sent to big boy prison bc he was almost 18 anyway#sasori did the exact same thing as in canon only without the magic stuff. he made people puppets#they caught him bc he tried making himself into a puppet and. well. hospital#no one is entirely sure what ''tobi'' is in for. or who he actually is. or why they let him wear a mask all the time#only kisame knows that tobi has never been sentenced for anything; he's running his criminal empire from the prison bc he thinks it's funny#he gets away with it bc the guards all think he's the ghost of the executed criminal whose grave the prison was built on#(it's madara) (unclear whether or not he's actually dead) (he definitely was buried down there tho!)#white zetsu and black zetsu are two separate people with the same name. they aren't related but everyone assumes they are#black zetsu is in for corporate espionage. white zetsu was eating people#hidan is. basically the same tbh? he's on death row. they've tried to execute him twice but both times he survived#he once od'd to prove he was immortal and. well he's still kicking? so who knows#orochimaru was in there and then he just kinda left? now he's oto high school's chemistry teacher. unclear how this happened#oh uh konan is in a men's prison bc of transphobia i guess...? yahiko was in juvie with her and nagato but he got in a fight and died#naruto is still trying to get sasuke to change his mind about oto bc uhhhhh sports rivalry#but sasuke doesn't care about sports and oto offered him a scholarship. which he also doesn't care about#he picked oto bc it's in a shitty neighborhood and he wanted to give itachi a heart attack#it IS a good school tho. like if you survive going there you'll get a solid education. lifelong mental scars but sasuke already had those#anyway for itachi - he and shisui had a ''let's kill our family (not sasuke) and then ourselves'' plan but only shisui pulled off part two#and it turns out premeditated mass murder is enough to get you tried as an adult!

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

It's scary to think about babies in an emergency but I guess it's a crazy world out there

funniest mxtx ships: