My Humble Abode

Ian and Alan, like anyone with common sense, could agree that Hammond was thinking far too naïvely/ambitiously about the park and that it would most likely fail. They literally came to a sort of agreement during the lunch scene. They enjoy dry humour, quick wit, drinking stuff, and long walks on the beach. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of 1-on-1 interaction between them in the first movie, nor in Dominion. When it comes to Ian and Alan's interactions, the majority of it boils down to Ian liking Ellie. Yes, they discuss the scientific and mathematical aspects of the Park with Hammond, Ellie, and each other, but outside of business there's little to be found.

Off the top of my head, I think the only non-Ellie and non-business topics they discuss are: 1. Marriage and having kids. 2. Ian and the kids being scared. 3. Offering drinks (not really talking but it's cute). 4. Jeep failure. And I wish I could say Chaos Theory was one of them but he's talking to Ellie while Alan is busy thinking about the T-rex and Triceratops. ... Until I completely re-watch the movie, that's all I can remember.

I MEEEAAAANNN unless we count this as canon.

But yeah, majority of their interactions revolve around Ellie, which is interesting to me. Ellie and Alan weren't a romantic couple in the books at all. In fact, Alan actually had a wife and she died years prior to the jp incident, leaving him widowed. If I remember correctly, Ian still flirted a bit with Ellie, though I'm not sure if he does it as persistently as he does in the movie. Since I'm re-reading the novel again, I'm forgetting a lot about actual character dynamics and interactions in there.

But I don't mean to bash Ellie! I love her and what Laura Dern did with her character. She's sweet, headstrong, feminine, and determined. She's a wonderful role model for many people and she's sooo pretty :)))) I would have liked to have seen JP either with Alan and Ellie not as a couple or with more interactions between the three of them not reolving around relationships/flirting. However! Her relationship with Alan in the movies does play a key role in why I think Jurassic Husbands could work.

More notes:

- In JP III, Alan and Eric are discussing his and Ian's books. When Alan asks what Eric thought about Ian's book, Eric replies, "... It was kind of preachy. And too much chaos, everything's chaos. It seemed like the guy was kinda high on himself." To which Alan responds, "Well, that's two things we have in common."

- Before they discussed Ian's book, Eric told Alan, "I read both of your books. I liked the first one more — before you were on the island. You liked dinosaurs back then." And Alan replies, "Well back then they hadn't tried to eat me yet." This shows how Alan was impacted by the trip. Ian went through a lot in JP II but it's nice to see Alan isn't left entirely the same either. His passion for dinosaurs, or even palaeontology as a whole, could have been dampened when reality didn't align with his fantasy. Here's a quote from the first novel.

"Visitors found the badlands depressingly bleak, but when Grant looked at this landscape, he saw something else entirely. This barren land was what remained of another, very different world, which had vanished eighty million years ago. In his mind's eye, Grant saw himself back in the warm, swampy bayou that formed the shoreline of a great inland sea. The inland sea was a thousand miles wide, extending all the way from the newly upthrust Rock Mountains to the sharp, craggy peaks of the Appalachians. All of the American West was under water. At that time, there were thin clouds in the sky overhead, darkened by the smoke of nearby volcanos. The atmosphere was denser, richer in carbon dioxide. Plants grew rapidly alond the shoreline. There were no fish in these waters, but there were clams and snails. Pterosaurs swooped down to scoop algae from the surface. A few carnivorous dinosaurs prowled the swampy shores of the lake, moving among the palm trees. And offshore was a small island about two acres in size. Ringed with dense vegetation, this island formed a protected sanctuary where the herbivorous duckbilled dinosaurs laid their eggs in communal nests, and raised their squeaking young." (page 34)

So it's pretty clear, at least in the novel, that Alan enjoyed his work and adored dinosaurs. He could literally envision the barren wasteland as a living, breathing environment. And when his visions are brought to life, it's not exactly the same as what he envisioned. In the film when he sees the Brachiosaurs, Parasaurolophuses, Velociraptors, and the Triceratops, he's in awe because his dreams are coming true. As the story progresses, a lot of that awe and fantasy is snubbed out as reality sets in. I think this is especially distressing for Grant since he and his crew [in the novels] are responsible for digging up nests, eggs, and baby dinosaurs. Alan found the first clutch of eggs in Montana. He challenged the idea that dinosaurs were cold and uncaring mothers by introducing the theory that they... gasp... actually cared for their young (maternal instincts). So having the theory that dinosaurs were more nurturing than everyone thought... and then getting attacked by them for two days... yeah, no kidding he doesn't like the way he used to. Yes, he reveres them and understands their strength/brutality, but I still think he'd be shocked by the attacks.

Buuuut I digress. All that was to come back to how Ian and Alan are similar. They're both negatively impacted by the trip (as I'm certain everyone else is) and become a little more pessimistic. Let me jump back to why Alan and Ellie's dynamic is crucial to Ian and Ellie's potential dynamic.

If we're looking at the positive aspects however and assuming Alan wouldn't get fed up with Ian... here's some ideas:

It's the fact that their relationship fails. And not because "Oh, Alan is single: Now he can date Ian." When I say this, I mean that if Ian and Alan were dating before the movie's events (which is unlikely because they were in two different states) or afterwards, they would fail, too. It would make sense if their relationship was a situationship or a traumabond of sorts; It could be something to get them away from the island and find support in each other. However, because they're so different in perspective, goals, and interests, it would still follow through with that break-up arc that JP III introduces for Alan and Ellie. Personally, I like to imagine ways to blend JP II and JP III together to involve them both... but at the end of the day, you still get Ian who sucks at relationships and Alan who's alone and yearning.

- Ian is extroverted, Alan is more of an ambivert. Ian helps Alan come out more and gets him through formal events. Alan teaches Ian that being alone doesn't mean being lonely.

- While neither are particularly interested in the different subjects, they would definitely infodump about their interests and jobs to each other and bounce ideas back and forth.

- Hallmark movie fic where Ian lives with Alan in the badlands to escape the press... only to have the worst time ever #cityboyhatescountrylife. Oh, and have the press hunt him down anyway.

- They're obviously traumatized by the events of Jurassic Park. They ground and aid each other when they're dealing with hallucinations, flashbacks, nightmares, etc. because they (and Ellie) are really the only ones who CAN understand what it's like.

- Couples counselling <3

Ouuugh I feel like there's so much more I have to say about them; I can't though because I don't remember enough about the films and books to do an even deeper dive yet. I'd like to talk about Sam's "Jammin' with Jeff" series but I haven't seen it recently either. I'm sure that by watching more behind the scenes footage, interviews, and celeb specials, I could come up with more headcanons for them.

I love these two very very much, especially Ian. ESPECIALLY Ian. He's sooo attractive ugh. I think it's mostly because of Jeff's performance and his Jeffisms though, lol. When I finish re-reading the first novel and finally check out the second one, I'll get a better idea of what he's like without the Jeff in him. I was listening to a podcast that had a British guy doing a Jeff impression any time he spoke... I think I was more focused on that than any of Ian's dialogue.

Man, I can't believe I've been so deeply interested in the Jurassic franchise for like... eight or nine years now? That's crazy. Apparently when I was younger, I would watch Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs on repeat like a billion times. I remember one time I somehow managed to get the audio to switch the French dub and I watched it all the way through. And I looooved The Land Before Time and We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story. Whether I knew it or not, I've always really liked dinosaurs and dinosaur media. The more I think about it, the more dinosaur books and toys I had as a kid come to mind :)

Alan is such an important character to me. I have a tendency to latch onto characters I relate to and do some projecting — thank you, neurodivergency. Not only does it give me a way to express my affection for Ian Malcolm without making a whole self-insert thing, it's comforting for me, too.

- Alan, with his passion for dinosaurs, reflects my own passion for prehistoric and modern animals. I enjoy birdwatching, spotting little creatures running about, observing insects zip around in the air... there's so much joy to recieve from nature. Having a character who shares that adoration touches me.

- He's inspiring to me. The way he handles emergencies, how he shows empathy and understanding, and his earnest behaviour aspires me to improve myself.

- Alan = gender goals.

Bonus Fun Fact: In the novel, Ian is 35 and Alan is 40. In David Koepp's screenplay, they actually switched it around! Alan is 35 and Ian is "fortyish"... which makes no sense because irl Sam is 5 years older than Jeff 😭 get that older guy ig, Grant

... So yeah. All that to say that the way Ian (or Jeff, technically) says "I love you Dr. Alan Grant" so tenderly, so softly... it kills me. Thank you for existing Jeff and Sam, thank you for the old man yaoi. #oldmanyaoi.