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THE UNBEATABLE CAR DILEMA

in illegal radio tonight, one chatter (Himejoshi_Heart) asked:

"If you had to go to the airport, which UNBEATABLE member would you trust to drive you there?"

eventually, every main UNBEATABLE character getting brought up, and i created a tier list on which character i would best trust to give me a ride to anywhere solely based on driving ability and how much i'd enjoy the ride (and one more thing, but that doesn't apply until later)

here's the tier list in question ranked from best to worst: ​​rest < penny < poco and apoco together < quaver (of driving age) < treble < crest < poco < apoco < sforzando < beat on a bike < clef < beat in a car

and here are my explanations.

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rest: she's seen driving and she's probably a good driver and abides by the law. i can imagine she's speeded before but she never gets any sort of tickets nowadays. she tells you to wear your seatbelt or else she's not starting the car. the model driver, probably. will listen to the radio and hum along a bit (if music isn't illegal) but will almost always keep her eyes on the road except a bit of slight eye contact on occasion if she's talking to you. she's this high up because she's probably a really really good driver

dc: he probably drinks and drives but not often. another model driver except for when he's drinking which brings him down under rest. also this guy will NEVER EVER TALK TO YOU DURING THE CAR RIDE EVER. he won't even turn on the radio. not even if music is legal. you're in for a very long silent car ride.

you may notice that dc is not listed in the ranking. that is because he will never ever give you a ride, probably.

penny: another decent driver. head in the clouds on occasion but still keeps her eyes on the road. will also make small talk with you, probably. mainly about world issues. the only thing is you have to put up with her atrocious mixtape.

poco and apoco together: okay drivers, won't speed ever. the only thing is with both of them together they will talk to each other the entire time and intentionally make each other miss turns or exits etc. it doesn't matter who's in the drivers seat here. theyre also both distracted drivers

quaver: THIS IS ASSUMING SHE IS OF AGE TO DRIVE AND SHE HAS HER FULL LICENSE. a good driver! a little bit scared to drive and goes at the speed limit if not under it most times but good enough! she'll talk on occasion but likes focusing on the road and not dying. she'll put some fire tunes on if music is legal though

treble: this is assuming the car has accesibility accomodations for people with only one arm. he's a good driver actually. he'll talk to you but only minimally. will tell you to put on your seatbelt before starting the car. he will get pissed at drivers on occasion or forget where he is and accidentally almost miss a turn but most of the time he's quiet and neutral. also he will play good songs in the car if music is legal.

crest: scared for his life to drive. ESPECIALLY if there's someone else in the car. he will consistently drive below speed limit and he will put you in the back seat and avoid eye contact with you as much as possible. like dc, even if music is legal he will not play music in the car. maybe he'll turn up the radio volume slightly but still keep it super quiet because he's probably spooked by the silence if he doesn't put anything on. also the maid outfit is in his trunk and he never lets anyone look in his trunk

poco: distracted driver. eyes on the road maybe less than half the time. quite the chatterbox so will talk to you the entire time. either that or she's on her phone. she will accidentally speed or will miss a turn or exit so you'll probably get where you need to be juuust in time but that's pretty much it. she will also probably put music on if music is legal.

apoco: see poco except she will not talk to you. and like not even emote. almost at all. maybe she'll murmur to herself every once in a while but that's it. poco is only ranked higher because she will talk to you

sforzando: not paying attention AT ALL. head always in the clouds and she's always thinking about something and/or looking out the window or on a work call or talking to herself or maybe talking to YOU sometimes without your permission. will turn on the radio and listen to it intently. her own mixtape is actually okay but she rarely plays it. you are being held hostage in her car and you cannot leave.

beat on a bike: will play music. also may almost kill you. but probably not because she's a pretty good biker (motorcyclist maybe) when she's not getting chased down by the cops or bugged by quaver. she might talk to you. might. but she will always hum along with the radio or whatever music she's playing.

clef: oh boy.

okay so first clef's car is a DISASTER. it's very very beat up and most likely a fixer upper. there are a lot of stickers on the outside. one of her windows is broken. so is the ac. the inside of the car hasn't been cleaned out Ever it looks like and there are a lot of fast food containers and junk in there probably. but it's surprisingly bug-free. we have treble to thank for that.

clef will give you a ride if you get on her good side! she's a reckless driver though. she accidentally drove up on a curb once. treble is there sometimes in the backseat but he probably won't say anything to you. he's there for company, because they need to do something together after they drop you off, or sometimes he negociates with the cops for her. also clef speeds. a lot. she will probably get at least one speeding ticket while giving you a ride. but you'll still get there early. because she will go even faster to make up for lost time after that ticket.

she blasts music. absolutely. if music is legal she will do it. her speakers are probably half broken.

beat in a car: beat is canonically scared of driving and it will take you a while but you'll probably get there. i don't have much more to say on this matter. i just think she's a bad driver. all mannerisms from beat on a bike appear here too