down among the unclefts

These are the only guns that exist:

-The Cop & Sportster: This rifle has not changed since the 1980s, but it's somehow still priced as cutting edge weaponry even though it's legally a "Retro" rifle. There's nothing wrong with these but there are certainly better values out there.

-A Shotgun: Do not buy a shotgun for serious use unless your primary opponents happen to be doorjambs and flocks of geese. Better than nothing in a pinch, but not a serious option.

-A Suspiciously Cheap Imported Shotgun: Stop it, you are not Doomguy. Also you have a 50/50 shot on the cheap ones actually working.

-The Incinerannihilator: This is a rifle for the Punisher Skull Avenged Sevenfold listener. Half of them have a crusader cross engraved on the magwell. Do not buy these.

-The Alphabet-15: This is the one you want. Solid quality, nothing fancy, gets the job done. There are dozens of good companies out there that make them. None of them share your politics.

-The Fuddchester & Sportington: Great for pretending you're a cowboy, bad for anything else that isn't hunting Elk. Old men will tell you that they're the only guns you'll ever need. They are wrong, but the wood stocks do look good.

-The Wafflestomper: This rifle always has a quirky name and at least one part 3D printed in titanium. The founder of the company wears skate shoes. It's mediocre and overpriced but it make up for this with marketing hype.

-The AK-Pattern: These are strictly for playing dress up. You can't even find good ones in the USA, and if you manage to get your hands on an AK that works, good luck locating any ammunition for it on the North American continent since the Russian sanctions started.