religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

since "cage" is a last name and there are girls named "chastity" it would be theoretically be possible for a girl to be named chastity cage

Wake up babe new Austin Powers girl just dropped

I invented a new trend called “drink sleepy tea and go to bed”

is there anything as good as lying in a sunbeam

telling the truth in a sunbeam #honesty

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

(begging you to get me started) UGH don't get me started.......

Its been said before but I love so much how in torchwood the first two things you as the audience learn are that 1) this guy has been pregnant before and 2) there's nothing after you die it all just goes black

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french