my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.
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You can be repulsed by QPRs btw. That's a valid form of repulsion. it doesn't matter if it's "not sexual or romantic tho!!!" because repulsion doesn't start and stop at only romance and sex.
Not every aspec has to like the idea of being in a QPR. being repulsed by QPRs is not an anti-QPR stance. it's just a kind of relationship that people can have a multitude of feelings on like any other.
Just because a relationship isn't labeled as romantic doesn't mean that you, as a romance repulsed person, can't be repulsed or uncomfortable at the idea of being in any sort of committed relationship. You don't have to be comfortable with the idea of being in a QPR just because it's not "inherently romantic". You don't have to be comfortable with the idea of marrying for benefits because it's "Not like a romantic marriage". You can still be made uncomfortable by these things. these things can still trigger your repulsion. it's not you saying that these are inherently romantic. Feelings like this aren't as clear cut and just claiming something "isn't romantic" doesn't magically make those feeling disappear and you shouldn't be forced into being okay with or entering those types of relationships just because they "aren't romantic" and so "shouldn't trigger you"
what my life is like as a permaregressor, and common misconceptions!
cw: long post!
being a permaregressor i think is sometimes viewed as a want by a lot of people in the community. i see many posts of people saying they wish they were permaregressors, how awesome life would be to be one, etc.
and that's fine! im not here to tell you i hate my life as a permaregressor, far from it. but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows, at all.
for those who don't know, i am a teen permaregressor. bodily i am 20 years old, but i am permanently regressed to about 13-16. this means i never really leave this headspace. i never grew up.
so, what's it like? not really all that different from the life of any other adult, really. i'd say the big major differences are that i don't feel like i relate to any other adults around me, and i have a more childlike/naive view on a lot of things than other people my age. i'd say it pretty heavily affects my stress levels though. i am also wildly more immature than people my age.
do i have the ability to act my age? absolutely. masking is a thing permaregressors are more than capable of doing. i have to mask in order to get through life, especially as someone who works full time to provide for myself and help out my family with bills and such.
it's really hard being a permaregressor in the real world, though. i have a pretty busy life outside of tumblr, i work, i take care of my pets, i see my family often, i go out with friends often, i do the grocery shopping for the house by myself a lot of the time, etc! its really quite stressful to do all of these big adult tasks when you feel smaller than everyone around you.
one big problem i see permaregressors who are bodily adults face, is the constant Infantilization we receive, often from other regressors. because we never fully leave our headspaces, we're told we can't do adult things because we can't consent (ex; to things like alcohol or drugs or other adult stuff). this is horrendously untrue, and many of us do not want to be treated like we're actual children. many of us WANT to lead normal adult lives. of course i want to be treated like im little when im regressed to a toddler or a kiddo, of course i wouldn't want to do adult stuff in THOSE headspaces, because they aren't permanent! i'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, and i shouldn't let it define me or force me to be a certain way. im bodily an adult and therefore i expect to be treated like one when in my permaregressed headspace.
i truly do believe this community should be a bit more educated on permaregression. i think people definitely look at it with rose-colored glasses. i also hope no one, especially other permaregressors, found this post to be too pessimistic! i love being a permaregressor, and i think everyone who is one should be allowed to love being one as well.
A witch puts a spell on a girl, a sleeping spell that promises the girl shall wake through true love’s kiss. Men come and kiss her. She slumbers. Women come and press their lips to hers, but still she sleeps. Many years past, and the girl remains still. One bright morning, a lost little boy finds her resting spot and clears the dust and grime from her face. He offers her a kiss on her forehead, and her eyes flutter open. She never feels romantic love for a man nor a woman, and she cares for the boy until the day she dies.
A young woman is imprisoned in a castle by a monstrously formed prince. The servants of the castle hope for them to fall in love, and when the spell is broken they assume their prayers have been answered. They are all surprised, but nonetheless pleased, when it is revealed to them that the young woman and prince are the truest of friends, and nothing more.
They say the kingdom is ruled by an evil queen, a woman who is incapable of loving. She is unmarried, she has no consorts, and she wishes for no partner. She is the wretched queen, the heartless queen. She must hate her daughter, for her daughter is beautiful, and women are incapable of liking another woman who’s prettier than themselves. It must be for this reason that the princess was sent away, not for how she was attacked by a man in the woods. They say the kingdom is ruled by an evil queen because she cannot love. The queen loves her daughter, and that is enough for them both.
There lives a prince who is forced to choose a bride at the ball. He meets many beautiful women, but find none which he loves. He spies one in a gorgeous gown and wonder in her eyes, and he dances with her all night long. The kingdom is sure he has found his bride. When the clock strikes midnight he tells her how he will never love a woman, or a man, in the way he is expected to. The beautiful woman smiles and tells him she expects nothing from him. The next morning the prince and the beautiful woman are missing, having run off together to see the world. They leave their shoes behind in their haste.
Many kinds of love exist. It doesn’t all have to be romantic.
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the word empathy is WIDELY misused, even in mental health spaces.
empathy:
is responding to a person’s emotions by experiencing the same emotion as them (i.e. feeling sad when something sad happens to that person, or happy when something happy happens to that person.)
is an automatic response that cannot be controlled
cannot be learned
sympathy:
is recognizing that another person is in pain, even if you do not experience that pain, and offering comfort to that person
is something a person must actively choose to do
can be learned
compassion:
is showcasing care and support via words and actions
is something a person must actively choose to do
can be learned
if you need an example of a person with no empathy who practices sympathy and compassion, look no further than data from star trek: the next generation. he doesn’t have emotions at all, but he’s still kind to people and wants to help them.
stop telling people that they’re evil because they don’t experience empathy. stop equating empathy with morality. stop equating empathy with caring. stop saying that cruel people “lack empathy.” stop throwing neurodivergent and mentally ill people under the bus.
this is the 2008 fisher price peek-a-boo waterfall soother!
i was making a moodboard and saw a picture of it online and hadddd to find a video of what it did! just wanted to share it because i found it really comforting :3 especially with the late 2000s digicam quality vabbfasbdabd
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The problem with trying to 'solve' therianthropy OR 'How can you be X if Y is true?' a useless discourse
Preface: Although my concentration is on therianthropy, a lot applies to general nonhumanity regardless of label.
It is often commented that it is difficult to define what a 'therian' is whilst being truly accurate. It is a source of frustration that this is so, as it makes it feel vaguer than it really is and yet, it cannot be accurately described at least not in a concise manner, whilst attempting to provide full information.
The most accurate definition to me is;
"A therian is someone who partially or fully identifies as a nonhuman animal in any way."
('identifies as' can be replaced with 'is' based on personal linguistic preferences)
Now wait - you might argue - shouldn't we explain about involuntariness? Origins? How it has to be real earthen animals? Theriomythics? What if someone asks 'how do you know if you're a therian' rather than 'what is a therian'? Shouldn't we talk about shifts and memories and instincts?
And my answer is no. The definition above can answer both questions. Further study is up to the individual, especially if they don't want to be bombarded with all possible information right away.
It can be as simple as 'some common experiences are...but that's not all' and 'there's many reasons why someone might see themselves as a therian such as...' if they want more information from you or you feel like giving it right away.
Because the annoying thing is any other definition with extra information baked in will always be both right and wrong at the same time especially if you only go on your own personal beliefs.
"A therian is someone who involuntarily identifies as a nonhuman animal on all levels except physical."
"A therian is someone who had a past life as an animal."
"A therian is someone who is an earthen animal on any level at least some of the time." etc etc
None of these are not true, but they aren't fully true either, and thus end up imperfect, giving incomplete information that gives rise to arguments and disagreements later on when someone is sure they are right and meets someone with a different interpretation of certain factors of therianthropy.
Today I saw a conversation between two therians which was not unlike many conversations I've seen.
Therian A: "Therians know what they are based on instincts and behaviours they display related to their theriotype."
Therian B: "That's not always true, for me I had no behaviours or instincts due to being raised as human in a human society, but I still know what I am."
Therian A: "If being raised in a human society got rid of nonhuman instincts them how come many therians still have them?"
The issue here is that B's attempt at educating A on different experiences of therianthropy by speaking of their own had A assuming that B was trying to apply it to all therianthropy.
And I suddenly twigged on to the fact that A, at least in part, was one of those therians who wants to 'solve' therianthropy.
They want a definite, uncomplicated, singular explaination of what a therian is, what they experience, how it works and why.
And I thought of all the different conversations and arguments and discourses I've seen that exist for basically that same reason. Butting heads about what therianthropy should be, could be, or would be if only a strict definition could be achieved.
This by and large is hurting therianthropy and actually hindering our understanding of it.
By accepting that therianthropy occurs in individuals for a plethora of reasons, than it can be voluntary and involuntary, that you can have one or a hundred theriotypes, that there are common experiences (e.g. shifts) but they're neither a requirement nor universally experienced, we can thrive a lot better.
Spend time wondering 'why' and 'how', but do so with the knowledge that your conclusions are just your own and might even only apply to you, and that will be infinitely more valuble than trying to cut out the 'fake therians' and pool together a more singular experience which time and time again has been proven to be impossible.
There may never be a conclusive explaination for why we feel as we do, and we don't need one. We know what we are, we know what it feels like to be what we are, we have history and community and a future...but it has to be one which is open to a more fluid definition of therianthropy and nonhumanity in general and a deeper understanding of the sheer diversity of experiences that do in fact 'count'.
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